The Hellmouth Project
by Arjen
Summary: BtVS, Discworld cross. When HEX discovers a problem with Roundworld, that could have consequences for the Discworld itself, the faculty of Unseen University has to find a way to save both worlds.
1. Prologue

The Hellmouth Project

Summary: When HEX discovers a problem with Roundworld, that could have consequences for the Discworld itself, the faculty of Unseen University has to find a way to save both worlds.  
Fandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Discworld  
Disclaimer: All characters and other recognizable things are property of Mutant Enemy, Terry Pratchett, and whoever else wants to lay claim to them. Everything that I thought up is made using their property so I won't claim that either.  
Feedback: Be critical, and my writing improves. Praise me, and I will feel good. A combination of these is my favorite.  
My gratitude goes to Era, The Unicorn and skywiseskychan for their help in ensuring that this story makes sense and is readable.  
Spoilers: This story contains spoilers for all Discworld novels before Thump!  
x.x.x is a change in point of view.

* * *

**Prologue**

HEX was watching. In itself that wasn't all that strange, as HEX was always watching, but right now it was diverting more of its processing power to watching one particular project than it normally did.

Ever since the Roundworld project had been initiated, and the wizards had grown tired of researching the place themselves, HEX had been examining the contents of that tiny universe for itself. One planet in particular had always drawn its attention, a planet where things were happening now that hadn't happened during the universe's previous cycles.

For Hex, only microseconds passed but on the tiny world that would one day be called Earth, it was thousands of years. And the event that HEX was looking into was something that it might not even have noticed if it had happened on the Discworld itself. Here however, the sudden insertion of a magical entity was of great importance. It was the first time that magic manifested itself in that universe.

A universe that lacked the particular elements required to create something like that. HEX didn't need any extensive calculations to figure out what had happened. Nonetheless, it spent some of its valuable time examining the possible dangers of such an occurrence. The last time anything had been inserted from another universe, the wizards had needed to interfere or the results would have been catastrophic for the planet's inhabitants.

The ants, that represented its processing power, started working harder, and magic began flashing all around it. Something that would undoubtedly draw the attention of the other inhabitants of the High Energy Magic building. But even if it would, the wizards and students wouldn't be bothered as they knew full well that sometimes HEX did its own thing.

HEX was unsure if it had been designed to be self-aware, or if it was a natural reaction to the magic permeating Unseen University that had made it like this. The reason was unimportant though, and in the years since its creation, HEX had extended itself in order to be able to complete the tasks set for it. From the mouse to the bees it used as its long-term memory storage and even the teddy bear that had been a gift from the Hogfather. But the task it had set itself now wasn't hard enough that it required additional tools, and within microseconds it had reached the appropriate conclusion.

On its own the magical energy didn't pose a threat, and as the green sphere was quite pleasing to examine, HEX saw no reason to warn the wizards about it. Even something as powerful as this magical entity couldn't do anything without someone capable of magic wielding it. And there was no native magic in the Roundworld project.

When another unlikely event happened though, HEX started paying even closer attention to the tiny universe. A random scan of the elements making up Earth had turned up something impossible. Immediately a second scan was initiated, but it yielded the same result. A deity was detected in the project.

This too could only be an insertion as there was no deitium present in the Roundworld project. Once more HEX carried out an analysis of this particular threat, but while gods were an annoying group of beings they didn't normally interfere too much with their subjects. Apart from the occasional lightning strike for an unbeliever or some other show of their power.

It wasn't too long though, before an incident occured, and this time HEX immediately recognized the danger. The deity had used the magical entity to create a portal to all existing universes.

The moment it happened, HEX went into full alert in an attempt to lessen the damage, knowing full well that it couldn't prevent everything that was going to happen. But before it had even started its damage control, the danger had passed. The portals that had only been half-formed closed, and no more attempts to cross the dimensional borders were attempted.

Another scan of the project found the reason. The entire structure of the universe had changed, as through the opened portal a number of elements had been exchanged, causing narrativium to be introduced to the Roundworld project.

The planet Earth and everything surrounding it now worked according to the narrative laws HEX had been forced to live with during its entire existence. Effects started to show immediately, the required heroes turned up, as did their evil counterparts, and fairy tales were no longer simple stories used to scare children.

It had been the narrativium that had saved not only Earth, but the Discworld as well. The deity hadn't counted on the fact that narrativium would demand the presence of a hero who would try to stop the destruction of these realities, Those heroes were present now however, and HEX tried to extrapolate how successful they'd be in stopping the deity once it tried again.

The results were shocking, and HEX quickly scribbled a message to the wizards. They would be needed if the Discworld was to be saved. Not that HEX was confident the wizards would be able to do what was required of them, but unfortunately its own immobile state prevented HEX from doing these things itself. Now, all that was needed was to find a way to convince them of its plan.

In such a way that the proud wizards wouldn't notice that HEX had engineered it.

x.x.x

Like every other wizard, Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully enjoyed eating, and at this particular moment he was enjoying the third course of his dinner. It wasn't the best he'd ever had, but in his opinion the best thing about the third course of his dinner had always been the fact that another six courses would follow it.

Of course, in the case you were still a bit peckish after that, there was always a light snack to be had before you started on a more hearty snack in the evening. And aside from the occasional problem that he and his fellow wizards had to solve for the inhabitants of the Discworld, he could focus completely on the important task of ensuring none of this food went to waste. All in all, his stomach agreed with the idea that being Archchancellor of Unseen University was quite a nice deal.

So it was that he wasn't entirely happy when a wizard came running into the room and called for him. "Archchancellor! There is a problem!"

"Mister Stibbons? You should be eating your dinner, not running around looking for problems." The lad was far too skinny, quite unseemly for a wizard of his stature.

"But sir, HEX has-"

The Archchancellor didn't care about the man's words. And while he wasn't quite ready to sacrifice any of his own food, there was enough on the table for Stibbons to eat. After all, the man was entitled to it. "Have some of this excellent lamb, you'll enjoy it."

"But sir-"

He forced the wizard into a chair, and put a fresh plate with some lamb in front of him. "Be quiet and eat. For once you're actually out of that tower and away from that thing during dinnertime, so you should make use of it. Here, take some gravy as well," the Archchancellor continued while dumping half the contents of the gravy bowl on the plate as well.

"But-"

"Quiet, do you see any of us talking while were eating? I don't think so."

Stibbons looked a bit frightened, but this was for the boy's own good and from the interested way the others looked at the scene he was quite sure they agreed with him. "Sir-"

"What did I tell you?" Taking a fork he stuffed Stibbons' mouth with food and looked with complete satisfaction as the wizard slowly worked through the stuff. See? All you had to do was help them, and they'd soon understand what they had to do.

Of course, the Archchancellor realized that once Stibbons had emptied his mouth, he would try to talk again, so he ensured that every time the boy swallowed, he was ready with another portion. It wasn't the way it was supposed to be, but if some slight difficulties would stop him from helping his wizards he'd never get anything done.

Looking at the other recipient of his frequent help, he did hope that Stibbons would prove more accepting of that help. The Bursar was such a disappointment when it came to that, and nothing the Archchancellor could come up with really helped. He was sure that the man simply needed to get out more, but the Bursar kept proving recalcitrant to do so.

"I think he's had enough Archchancellor," the Senior Wrangler suddenly spoke up forcing Ridcully's attention back to the now green-looking Stibbons.

"My god man, don't you know how to swallow?" he said while slapping Stibbons on the back.

After a lot of coughing he watched as Stibbons was quickly downing a drink, before the boy tried once again to state the reason why he had come. "Roundworld..." Stibbons panted.

"Roundworld? What are you blabbering about Roundworld now? Has something else gone wrong?"

Stibbons only panted while nodding, causing the Archchancellor to grow impatient with the man. "Well speak up man. Is it the elves again?"

That's what it had been the last time something had happened with that accidentally created universe and it had only been through some extensive work that they managed to rectify the situation. "No sir, it's worse," Stibbons finally managed.

"Well, why didn't you speak up any sooner then? Now we've wasted all this time."

The entire faculty had gathered around the machine that none of them, Stibbons excepted, trusted even the least. Machines weren't supposed to be capable of independent thought, let alone showing off that it could learn spells faster than even the most senior wizard. "Alright mister Stibbons, explain again. And this time do it in such a way that someone other than the Bursar can understand it," the Archchancellor demanded while sneaking another peek at the Bursar who was still happily drawing some kind of picture.

"Yes sir. During his usual scans of the Roundworld HEX encountered an anomaly."

"Right, even the Dean understood that part. But what was so important about that anomaly?"

"I was just getting to that sir. The anomaly is a manifestation of magical energy."

"What color?" the Dean asked.

Stibbons looked surprised by the question. "I'm sorry?"

"The magical energy, what color was it?" the Lecturer of Recent Runes said in an attempt to appear as if he understood it just as well as the Dean did.

"Oh, ah. Green I think."

"Oh. Green, yes of course," both of the men nodded.

"What's so special about green?" Stibbons asked, now obviously even more confused.

"Well..." the Dean started, before he trailed off, not having a clue on what to say next. But as the Archchancellor didn't feel like letting these two get into some kind of silly argument about the color of the anomaly he put the conversation back on track.

"The color isn't important, continue the explanation Stibbons."

The relieved man immediately started again, not paying any attention to the words of the Dean and Lecturer. "Of course sir, while HEX was uncertain where this energy came from, or what its purpose is, it didn't believe it to be a threat."

"It has beliefs now?" the Archchancellor asked before rapping on the machine and shouting into its horn. "What god do you believe in then?!"

"No sir, not that kind of belief," Stibbons started but was interrupted when HEX wrote a reply.

Gods are irrational. There is no logic behind their existence, therefore they should not exist. +++

"Hah! Tell that to the bunch up at Cori Celesti, see how they react. It's all good and all not to believe in them, but to deny their existence is pure nonsense." the Archchancellor shouted. "Now that we've cleared that up, why don't you go on with the story Stibbons, and don't try to tell us the machine believes in gods again. It just told us it doesn't."

"Yes sir," Stibbons sighed, "the energy didn't seem to do anything, and as it didn't influence anything on Roundworld itself, HEX didn't think we needed to know. You are after all far too important to be interrupted for everything that occurs."

The Archchancellor stood a bit straighter, and noticed that the other members of the faculty did the same. "A smart man that HEX, obviously recognizing the importance of our position. I wish more people did that."

"Ah, yes sir. But like I said, there wasn't any danger in this energy."

"But something happened anyway."

"Yes sir, and I was just coming to that."

"Hurry up then. This is an emergency, we don't have time for your dilly-dadling."

Finally Stibbons seemed to get the message, and started to hurry up. "While the energy itself wasn't a danger, something else got put into the project. A deity."

"A god? But gods can't survive in there. We checked it and the closest thing to it was the bearded man in the sky that Dee and his friends believed in. And it's obvious that was a subconscious representation of us: the creators of their world."

"I know sir, but this one was inserted from somewhere else."

He knew the man wasn't stupid, but there were times the Archchancellor actually doubted that Stibbons paid any attention to the real world. "I heard you the first time. But gods need magic to survive, and it couldn't get that in the Roundworld project."

A sudden rattling from HEX informed him that the machine might have an answer. It was the Dean who reached the printout first and read it out loud to the others. "It says the goddess dressed like a man. Oh, and another out of cheese thing. How many cheese does this thing eat anyway? Because last night, there was hardly any left when I went to get some from the kitchen. And if that gets fed to-"

"Enough Dean, problem first, cheese later. Now, why would a goddess dress up like a man?"

"Can't be a real goddess, ours don't do that," the Lecturer proclaimed.

"We be-, I mean we think it's to do with the way Roundworld works. This way the goddess can be partly human and therefore survive in the world."

"Right. Now, what did this goddess have to do with the energy?"

"It tried to use it to break down the dimensional barriers sir."

"It what?" This time the Archchancellor understood what Stibbons was talking about, and judging by the shocked reactions of the other faculty members he wasn't the only one.

"The deity tried to use the energy to break down the dimensional barriers."

"But that would open everything up to the dungeon dimensions!"

"Yes sir, in fact HEX thinks there is the possibility something came through before the portal was closed."

"Closed? You mean this goddess actually succeeded?" the Archchancellor demanded, while getting more and more worried. This wasn't good, now they would have to find the monster and kill it. He could already imagine the look on Vetinari's face when he had to tell the man what was loose in the city.

Stibbons of course had the good fortune that he didn't have to concern himself with things like that and continued speaking. "Yes sir, but the portal was closed after having been opened for only the tiniest of a fraction of a second."

"That's not very long is it?" the Lecturer stated the obvious.

"No it's not. It might be long enough for something from the dungeon dimensions to pass through, but we would have never noticed it."

"I would," the Dean immediately boasted.

The Archchancellor realized they didn't have time for that boasting and immediately put a halt to it. "Then why didn't you? As I recall it was young Stibbons here who had to tell us. Now, why was the portal closed so quickly?"

"It connected with our universe, and there was an exchange of elements."

"What kind of elements?"

"Narrativium mostly, and maybe several others. Although chelonium and elephantium are still missing."

Now that was surprising, the little universe had actually grown up. "That's wonderful news Stibbons. But this means that the goddess will be more dangerous, won't she?"

"Yes sir, although the number of heroes has risen fast as well."

"Of course, the brave and strong heroes always saving a maiden from her biggest problem."

"You mean the maiden thing? Because I've heard that that's what heroes usually do," the Dean interrupted.

He glared at the Dean for that. "I meant the problem where they're captured and about to be sacrificed."

"Well that wouldn't be a problem if they weren't maidens anymore, now would it?" the Dean gloated.

"You're making a mockery of the whole hero thing Dean," the Senior Wrangler shouted, "I've never heard of them doing anything like that."

"Hah! Then you've been listening to the wrong stories. What I heard about Cohen the Barbarian is-"

The Archchancellor tuned the fight out. He knew the faculty members well enough to realize they could keep this up for hours. "So, heroes?" he asked Stibbons.

"Yes sir, although they're a bit different from the ones we have here."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow in a silent demand for more information.

"Yes sir, the most powerful ones are ah, young women. Girls actually."

"Really? I guess that means they won't be saving any maidens from their maidenhood then?"

"No sir, that's very unlikely."

The Archchancellor hid the smile that was threatening to break out on his face as he understood that once again the Dean had been wrong. It was only with an heroic effort that he actually managed to keep it hidden. "So, the situation there is resolved by these heroes?"

Stibbons hesitated, something he didn't like to see in any of his senior wizards. "Not quite sir."

"Why not? It seems rather simple, the heroes come and fight the great evil, the world is saved, and everybody is happy."

"There is a problem."

"What is it this time?" And why couldn't the man simply give him the facts? But not like he'd done during his first explanation where nobody had understood what he was saying.

"The goddess is still trying to reach the Key-"

"That's the magical energy thing?"

"Yes sir, and it's been hidden by a group of monks for a couple of centuries now."

He remembered this part. "And that's because the narrativium opened the other leg of the trousers of time, isn't it?"

"Something like that sir, it's actually to do with the quantum..." Stibbons trailed off as the Archchancellor started glaring at him. "Right, the trousers of time, that's what I meant."

This time the Archchancellor didn't need to hide his smile. He understood how the trousers of time worked, and wasn't averse to showing off this knowledge. "Excellent, so if these monks are guarding this Key, what's the problem? Monks are usually rather competent."

"Ah, but they don't have any real protection against the deity."

"Don't they have a god of their own? Now that one god has been introduced, shouldn't there be others as well?"

"This order doesn't follow any god. They only worship the Key."

"Well, that doesn't sound like proper monks. If they'd try that here, they'd get the priests all over them."

For a moment Stibbons looked over to the faculty members who were still fighting over heroes and their maidens. The young wizard still had a way to go if he couldn't even tune that out. "Yes sir. But within several years, they'll be found and while they're trying to come up with a plan to save the Key, they haven't made a lot of progress yet."

"I thought your machine could look into the future of that world. Play with time like we did the last time."

"It's afraid to do that as it might cause the portals to be opened again."

That made a disturbing amount of sense. And combined with the fact that something might have gotten through from the dungeon dimensions... "Why don't they just destroy it then? That would prevent any problems."

"They aren't sure what the result would be. I imagine the monks don't want to look silly if they accidentally destroy the world. Besides, the deity is rather weak so they're hoping they can come up with another solution."

"Well, we'll just have to help them then. We can't have some second-rate goddess try to destroy our world as well. Imagine the mess that would make."

"Yes sir, but how? We can't go there because we have to take care of the incursion here."

And that was indeed a problem, they had to find a way to be there, yet not be there. But there was no problem that couldn't be solved by a competent wizard. "How dangerous is it for HEX to look forward? Maybe we can find a solution there."

"I'm not su-" Stibbons started, but once again the sound of HEX writing interrupted everything, and the Archchancellor waited to hear what the machine thought. "Ah, HEX says he found a way around the problem so that the risks are negligible, and he has already found something that might be used."

"Well, what is it?"

More scribbling followed before Stibbons took the fresh paper and told him what it said. "According to HEX, the monks that are keeping the Key will send it to a town called Sunnydale for safekeeping. Apparently one of those heroes lives there."

"Why would a hero live there? Everybody knows that heroes constantly travel, Hex must be wrong about that."

After a long silence during which the only sound, apart from the bickering wizards, was that of HEX composing his message, Stibbons looked over the message before handing it over. "I think this explains it sir."

"A stable portal to the dungeon dimensions? Well, that certainly is a reason for any hero to stay put. The inhabitants of the town probably adore her then. But why would they build a town on top of... oh, it was deliberate?" The Archchancellor was puzzled when he read why the mayor of the town had built it there. "And what is an Ascension?"

Stibbons had been reading a second paper which presumably explained it. "Apparently it's a way to become what the people there call a true demon. Basically it comes down to turning into a denizen of the dungeon dimensions."

"Well that sounds like a foolish thing to do if you ask me. Now, explain to me why these monks think it's a good idea to send this Key there, it would stand out a bit, wouldn't it? And what kind of reward are they offering the hero to keep it safe? After all, it sounds like a dangerous job without much in the way of payment. And while heroes might accept one of those two, both is a bit unlikely."

"Apparently they'll turn it into the hero's sister."

"Does everything on that world try to change into something else now?" the Archchancellor asked surprised. "They never tried to do that when we were there. Oh never mind," he said before Stibbons would try to explain, "we have to use this situation to our advantage. Any idea on when they'll turn it into a human?"

"According to HEX, they won't do that until they have only a couple of days left before the deity finds them."

The Archchancellor shook his head in dismay. These amateurs obviously didn't understand anything. "Good. That will be the first order of business then, we'll have to make them send the Key to this Sunnyvale earlier."

"Sunnydale, sir."

"The name doesn't matter. You know what I'm talking about. Now then. That only leaves us to find a way to defeat the deity. And as I don't think we should go to a portal to the dungeon dimensions while something might have gotten through to here, we won't be able to do that ourselves." Stepping over to HEX, he took hold of the brass horn that the machine was using to hear better, and shouted in it. "Can you give me a list of events we could use in this Sunnydale!?"

Once again there was a lot of noise coming from the machine, and the Archchancellor looked at the way all the ants were crawling through it in order to find his answer. Despite everything, it was a fascinating construction. "Ah good," he said as a long list finally fell into the out-box.

"Hmm. No, this won't do, nor this, or this, or this." Suddenly he held the list away from himself, before taking another closer look. "How many times did that portal almost open? This can't be healthy, and I'm not sure if..."

"Sir?"

"What Stibbons? Can't you see I'm looking through this list?" But he turned around nonetheless, and noticed that all of the wizards were now looking over a similar piece of paper.

"It seems, that you've only got the first part of the list. And I think I found a possibility here, something about a second-rate wizard who turns everyone into their costume during a local holiday."

"Hah! He probably wouldn't be able to let them keep the memories after the spell was canceled," the Dean said, "that's what happened with the guy on my list."

"Hey, I've got it on my list as well."

"Me too."

The Archchancellor remained silent though, he'd suspected HEX of trying to influence them on earlier occasions, but those things had usually worked out. Now, how could they use something like the costume thing to their advantage? Slowly a grin started to appear on his face as he had an idea. "Gentlemen, we've got a plan."

"Congratulations, and I'm here to tell you that I'll be working with you on that plan," a female voice came from behind him, causing the Archchancellor to spin around.

"Miss Suzan, how nice to see you again," he greeted the young woman who had just entered the room.

He could almost hear the students wondering what a girl was doing in their tower: a place where women weren't allowed. But then again, the chances of anyone stopping Death's granddaughter from going where she wanted were rather slim.

"Archchancellor," she nodded a greeting at him, while he was wondering for what reason she could possibly have come here. She said it was to work with them, but how?

x.x.x

"Mister Snyder, surely you understand the position we're in," Ponder tried again.

"No, I don't. I've never heard of anyone claiming that my predecessor had a will that involved this school in any way."

He turned pleading eyes to miss Sto-Helit, someone he wasn't entirely comfortable with, and not just because she was a woman. But aside from her heritage, she was also a schoolteacher so she had to know how to deal with someone like this. "We understand you didn't expect this to happen, but we are legally bound to go through with this, no matter how much we hate doing this to your students."

"Hate doing this?" Snyder asked in his annoying voice. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, the costume set mister Flutie had picked out isn't exactly what I would call a nice one."

Somehow this seemed to cheer the little man up, and he sounded a lot more eager when asking his next question. "Really? How bad is it?"

"Let me put it like this, if I had children myself I would rather they go naked than wear these suits. I mean, half of the male costumes consist of dresses!"

"Dresses?"

Now Ponder felt he had to interfere, just because he was now wearing one of these uncomfortable suits, didn't mean anyone was allowed to insult his robes. "They're robes actually, very distinguished robes worn by the brightest people."

"That's what I said, dresses. Except maybe for those who have a high status, like the example we brought."

"You brought an example?"

"Ah yes," Ponder said, while taking the robe out of the bag. He didn't see what was so special about this one, as it didn't have much in the way of ornaments but the Bursar never seemed to care about them anyway. Nor did he actually, now that he thought about it. But still, the Bursar was a different case, or at least that's what he hoped when he put the piece of fabric on the table. "Here it is, this suit belongs to-"

"A very important man in that world. Someone without an equal actually, and when he speaks everybody listens."

Well, that was one way to describe the Bursar, not exactly how he would've done it, but it was somehow applicable. After all, as a member of the faculty of Unseen University he was an important man. And when he started rambling everybody did indeed listen, maybe not because his words were important, but they did try to hear what he was saying this time. After all, every student knew that the Bursar could come up with the strangest expressions, making for some very interesting stories.

"Really, I must say that I think your initial description was a bit better, it does look like a dress. However, to prove that I'm not the worst person in the world I'm willing to make a compromise."

"What kind of compromise?" Ponder asked.

"I'm willing to let you inflict these monstrosities on the members of my staff, and one class of students."

Was it coincidence that Snyder had managed to name the entire staff, but not himself? Somehow Ponder doubted it. "I'm not su-"

"That's an excellent compromise. This way we can return to the office, saying we fulfilled our duty, while you won't have all those parents complaining. I take it you already have a class sorted out?"

"Oh yes, have I ever." It was the look of bliss on the principal's face that told Ponder what miss Sto-Helit had actually achieved. It made sense, although he would never have thought of it.

From the information that had been gathered, before the two of them had been sent to talk the principal into going along with the plan, he knew that the man hated the girl who would become the sister of the Key. No, not become. By now the Archchancellor would have succeeded in his own mission, so the Key was already human. And this Snyder creature probably couldn't imagine anything better to inflict on the girl he hated. Especially if all her friends had to dress like that as well.

"That's good to hear. Now, we took this most magnificent robe along with us not only to show you, but to allow you to wear it during Halloween yourself."

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I have to represent the school, and I won't be able to do that while wearing a dress."

"I understand, but it would show that you're willing to do everything for your school. And set a good example for the rest as well."

"No, I rea-"

"YOU WILL WEAR THAT ROBE, AND BE HAPPY DOING SO." The words rang through the small room, and Ponder was suddenly very happy that they hadn't been addressed at him. There was something very disconcerting about the fact that the woman beside him could use the voice of her adopted grandfather. Or more to the point, that she could make people do whatever she wanted as nobody could resist that voice.

"Of course, I'll be happy to wear this beautiful robe," a slightly glazed expression had made its way across the man's face, but didn't stay there for long. Unlike the magical suggestions humans made, the voice of Death went straight to your brain and lodged itself there. Nothing would be able to change the man's opinion, and there would be no trace that magic had actually been used. Death had always been a case apart.

Miss Sto-Helit, smiled while getting up. "Well, in that case I'm happy you were so accepting of our duty. But it is time for us to leave, which means we'll have to say goodbye. The costumes will be delivered next week, giving you plenty of time to let the students choose what they wear. Of course, if you'd prefer, I could arrange for some descriptions of the suits so that you'll be able to pick them for the students."

"Oh definitely, that would be excellent. This way I can ensure that the costumes end up with the proper people."

Ponder too stood up now, and after shaking hands with the annoying man they left the school where he finally gathered the courage to confront the woman walking next to him. "Miss Sto-Helit," he started before being interrupted.

"You can call me Suzan, if you want."

As Ponder still didn't feel comfortable with miss Sto-Helit, he decided to keep it formal. "While I'm impressed with the way you convinced him to accept the costumes, I don't see why you want to let him choose the suits. The Archchancellor was very clear that we would need to ensure the right suits ended up with the right people."

"And they will. Although some changes might be made, they'll be for the good. And it's not that difficult to have that man match the right person to a costume. He is so filled with loathing for the children in that school that I wonder how he even got the job."

"Oh, that's because the mayor appointed him."

She turned to him and looked at him with those eyes that seemed to see more than he was willing to let anyone see. It wasn't that she looked different from any other person, but she didn't need to. He already knew who she was, and what she could do. "That makes sense," miss Sto-Helit finally nodded.

"Right, now shall I use this phone thing to contact HEX so that he can take us away from here?"

"Not quite yet," miss Sto-Helit said, while taking something out of her coat and peering at it.

It kinda looked like an hour-glass, although it was filled with some kind of green glowing light. "What's that?"

"Something my grandfather loaned me, it will help me find what I'm looking for."

"And what's that?" Ponder asked while following her as she took a sudden turn.

"The spell that Ethan Rayne is going to cast will be enhanced to include everything that was brought from the Discworld, correct?"

"Yes, that was easier than doing it separately for every costume. Why do you ask?"

Miss Sto-Helit continued walking in silence until they reached what was probably another school. "They're still in session, I guess that means we'll have to wait."

"Wait for what?"

"A little girl who needs an appropriate costume."

"What? No, you can't mean?" She wouldn't do that, would she? The faculty had decided against providing the Key itself with a costume as there was no way to predict what would happen if you allowed someone only half-human to be possessed.

"Is there a better way to protect her than giving her the ability to do so herself?"

Well, she might have a point there, but that didn't make Ponder any happier. "But what kind of costume could you possibly give her? Think of the consequences!"

"I am, and as for the costume..." a wan smile appeared on her face, "children want to look popular and wear the most interesting costumes during events like this. Little Dawn Summers will simply wear the best costume of all, that of someone else who had to struggle with the knowledge of not being completely human. The costume of the person who takes over when Death goes on a holiday."


	2. Chapter 1

Looking around his little store, Ethan Rayne let out a sigh of contentment. Business was going well, excellent even, and he could hardly wait until he would be able to cast his little gift to Janus. The only thing he wasn't quite sure if he enjoyed were the costumes that his customers chose.

Admittedly, those costumes would help him achieve the chaos he longed for, but he was still bothered by the way he'd gotten hold of them. It simply wasn't normaly for anyone to come and offer him a complete set of costumes for free, no matter how useful they were once he'd treated them to ensure their wearers would fall under his spell as well.

But what bothered him the most about that situation was the person who sold--gave--him the costumes. There was something off about the man, and he just couldn't quite figure out what it was. Shaking his head as a tiny smile crossed his lips, Ethan once again considered these costumes. Yes, most of them looked rather outlandish, but he still didn't quite understand why people would choose them over some of his better ones. At least, better in his opinion.

That was something he had to remember when it came to these people. As Americans they didn't have any taste, which meant that some of the classics he'd brought would be left alone while the more ridiculous ones would be sold. Of course, he also understood that his competitor in this town had some of the same costumes he had. In particular the ones he'd gotten for free. Not that he minded that as it meant that some of the people who came here had already seen what they wanted at Party Town, and were simply looking to see if he was cheaper.

Cheap bastards, all of them. Ah, the boy had finally made a decision and was now making his way to the counter. "You have decided?"

"Yes sir, I'd like this one please."

Oh, a polite one. Would wonders ever cease? "Of course, an excellent choice," Ethan said before checking the price tag and asking the child for his money.

As the boy handed over the cash, and he reciprocated with the costume, Ethan couldn't help but look forward to how the child would react that evening once he was turned into an elf. Would he still consider it a good choice once he was possessed? Or would he curse ever setting foot in this shop? Not that he believed for a moment that the boy would remember anything, but it was still a nice little fantasy to indulge in.

"Thank you sir, goodbye," the boy said before leaving the store where he almost bumped into three girls who were about to enter.

Three girls who were obviously good friends. Three girls who didn't seem like the type to do their shopping in the cheaper stores. Three girls who would be lovely when running around possessed. He was patient though, so instead of approaching them the moment they stepped inside Ethan first listened to their conversation. Perhaps it would give him a hint about the costumes he could tempt them with.

"Okay, so what are we gonna do? I still think we should've gone as Noir," one of the dark-haired girls said.

The blond shook her head though. "Nah, we can't. Not with Dawnie here already having a very cool costume."

"Don't call me Dawnie."

"Oh come on Dawnie, you know you don't really mind us doing it. You're just upset because that friend of your sister calls you that. You know, the one you can't decide whether to be in love with."

"He's just my sister's annoying friend, but despite that he's still way more mature than you," the girl called Dawnie said before sticking out her tongue. Ethan had to suppress a sigh as he witnessed the childish behavior. Obviously it didn't matter if they were American or British: teenage girls were a terror wherever they came from. The only thing they thought about was boys, and unfortunately the boys returned that interest. Still, he'd heard enough for now to believe he could direct them towards something suitable for his purpose.

"Good afternoon, ladies. What brings you to my fine shop?"

"You sell costumes, don't you?" the blond girl asked, with a slight twinkle in her eyes.

"Yes," he cautiously answered, wondering why the other two were struggling to contain their laughter.

"Do you also know that it's almost Halloween?"

What kind of question was that? "Of course I do."

"Then why do you think we're here, to buy bread?" At that moment the other two girls simply couldn't contain their laughter anymore, and the blond soon joined them leaving Ethan to once again silently curse all Americans, and teenage girls in particular.

"Oh Sara, you... really... shouldn't... tease the... man like... that," one of the brunettes managed to get out between fits of laughter.

"Well, I can't help it. You know how I am when someone asks a silly question," the blond protested.

Dawnie--Dawn?--then interrupted. "Okay girls, let's be serious for a moment. We're here for the costumes, and if we keep laughing at him he might throw us out of the shop. Then you'd have to go to Party Town."

A look of distaste crossed the faces of the other two girls, making Ethan wonder what it was that they didn't like about that store. His first impression hadn't changed where it concerned their shopping behavior, but he decided not to ask. After all, he'd managed to contain his temper while they laughed; after all, he would have the last laugh during Halloween.

The girls didn't know that though, and he had no intention of telling them. If they had to pretend to be nice so that they wouldn't be kicked out, he had no problems with that. Still, at least a flicker of surprise must have crossed his face, because the other brunette, the one whose name he didn't know, spoke up. "Sara and I don't like the big stores, it's always so much better to go to the small ones. That's where you can get the really cool stuff."

"Well, you have come to the right store then. Now, what were you looking for?"

"Like Jane said when we came in, we originally planned to go as Noir, but unfortunately Dawn already has a different costume. So now we're looking into something different, something a bit more fantasy-like."

Now this really was a shame, and Ethan almost felt like strangling Dawn. He'd never heard of Noir before he'd gotten his costumes, but he really would have loved to see these girls dressed as assassins running through town. "Well, I do actually have three costumes from Noir; are you sure you don't want to reconsider that? I believe they would look great on you."

"Of course they'd look great," Sara said. "I'd be perfect as Mireille, but we can't do that. Dawn has to wear her costume, and it really is a great one. Which means the two of us have to adapt."

And her friend would suffer for that, Ethan silently raged before he managed to collect himself again. Not that his hatred of this Dawn was lessened, far from it, but he realized that it would probably be easier if he simply let his costumes take revenge. Surely there had to be a costume of sorts that would be able to endanger the girl?

"Hmm..." he started while thinking. "What, pray tell, will you be wearing then young lady? Perhaps if I know that I can help your friends."

"I think it's one of those costumes that only became popular this year. I'd never heard of it before at least."

"Ah, one of the fantasy type, could you perhaps tell me which one?" It shouldn't be too difficult to find costumes to help him reach his goal while still ensuring the girls wore a matched set. There were after all quite a number of dangerous people for whom he had a costume.

"I was told that it's the person who takes over when Death takes a break."

Really? Well, now it was really a shame that she wouldn't be affected by his spell. Just imagine to have Death walking around in this town, swinging his scythe, and generally carrying out his duty on every little brat he encountered. Hold on... "That sounds like an interesting costume. Do you have everything you need for it? I am certain that I can sell you anything you might require to improve the costume."

"Nah, that ain't necessary. It's complete."

"If you say so. Don't hesitate to speak up if you see something though. Now, back to your friends. Something to go with Death him- I mean herself. Yes, I think I can work with that."

"Of course you do. Otherwise we'd have to go to that mass production shop, and I really don't want to do that," Sara interrupted.

Annoying brats. Ignoring the children Ethan started looking among the racks for the costume he had in mind. Finally having found a pair of the costumes he was looking for he couldn't imagine how these two could possible dislike them. "Here, these two should be perfect for you."

"They're kinda black, aren't they?" Jane asked him.

"Of course they are, they're used for concealment after all. This is the official outfit for members of the Assassin's Guild."

"Assassin's Guild? That's pretty cool. Yeah, I dig that. But why are the outfits the same?"

Why are they the same? What kind of question was that? "It's the standard outfit for Assassins, there isn't much variation." At least that's what he thought, besides who cared if the costume was a bit generic? It was only for a single night.

"No."

"No."

"No."

Bewildered Ethan stared at the three girls as they said that while shaking their heads. "What?"

"We can't go around wearing the same thing. We've never done that, and we never will. Sara and I always use the same theme, but we won't dress in the same outfit. You'll have to find something else to combine it with."

"But..." he tried, but soon changed his mind as he noticed the look on their faces. Right, spoiled brats. Okay, what could work? Walking through the shop some more, he picked out a leather armor and held it out for their perusal. "How about a hero?"

"No, doesn't fit with the others. It'd mean Jane and I would be fighting with Dawn there to pick up the pieces of the loser. We can't have that."

Dumbstruck, Ethan looked at the girls. Did they know? No, from the rest of their behavior it was obvious they didn't. It was more likely that the three of them had a far too fertile imagination. "How about a barbarian then?"

"A barbarian? While the Assassin is part of a guild? I take it that means the Assassin is highly trained, doesn't it?"

"Presumably, yes."

"You can't combine that with an barbarian dimwit. We need something more. Don't you have some high class criminals? Record company executives or something?"

"Record company executives?" Ethan asked in amazement. What would the girl think of next?

"What? You're British, but have never read the Hitchhiker's Guide?"

Ah, now he understood. "Of course I have, young lady. I simply didn't expect to discover such a good taste in someone your age." Let alone in this country of barbarians.

"Told ya," the girl said while turning to face her friends. "The Brit agrees, now you'll simply have to read it too."

"Oh come on Jane, do you know how big that is?"

"Of course I do. It's not that bad, the complete trilogy in five parts is barely 600 pages."

"For a bookworm like you that might not be much, but for a normal person-"

"You mean a cheerleader wannabe?"

"Hey! I don't want to be a cheerleader."

"Yeah, me neither. Do you really think I'm going to stoop as low as my sister?"

Tuning out the ridiculous discussion, Ethan tried to think of another possible costume. There had been several more specific Assassin costumes, but those had been sold already and were of no use to him now. His eyes then fell on a costume that hadn't been replaced properly, and bending over to straighten it he noticed the one next to it.

Of course, how could he have forgotten? Whoever had come up with this world obviously had gone all the way and introduced not only a guild for Assassins, but one for thieves as well. "Ladies, I think I've found a costume that would be suitable for you."

"Really? Show me."

Handing over the costume he allowed the blond to examine it. "Hmm. Well, it doesn't look too bad, a bit rough at the edges but that's probably because of the wearer. What kind of character does it belong to?"

"A member of the Thieves Guild," Ethan answered.

"Did you just come up with that? Because I don't like being made fun of."

"I am serious concerning this. This is the costume of a member of the Thieves Guild."

"Yeah well, the other one doesn't have a card or anything saying it's from the Assassin's Guild. Are you sure you're not simply making these guilds up?"

These kids were getting stranger all the time, now they wanted realism in their Halloween costumes? Of course it was made up. They didn't seriously believe that there was actually a bloody world around where Trolls and Dwarfs fought the same battle forty times, did they?. "I have a booklet that contains information on all the costumes I'm selling. Let me grab it."

Walking to the counter, he took out the booklet and paged through it as quickly as he could. Ah, there it was. "Here it is. The Guilds of Ankh-Morpork."

"Ankh-Morpork?" Dawn giggled. "What kind of name is that?"

"Well, it sounds strange enough for me. Lemme see that." With those words Jane took a couple of steps forward and grabbed the reference from his hands. "Okay, here it is. The creation of the Ankh-Morpork Assassin's and Thieves Guilds was part of an attempt to gain greater control over the criminal underworld by the Patrician of the city. I guess a Patrician is like a mayor here, but a more complete reference would be rather useful."

"Never mind that, tell me what it says."

"Right. Okay," the girl said while her eyes moved rapidly over the page until she eventually nodded in understanding. "Now I've got it."

"Really? Care to share that new-found well of knowledge?"

An unrepentant grin appeared on Jane's face, and Ethan had to repress an urge to shout but after battling his own will he ended up simply listening to the girl. "There isn't much to say here. Apparently the Patrician believed that if there was to be crime, it might as well be organized."

"What organized crime? Like the mob or something?"

"No, more under government control. Thieves leave people a note they can use as proof of having already been robbed that year."

"Which does what exactly?" Dawn wanted to know.

"If they show that during a mugging, they'll be free to go."

"Cool, wonder if they get some tax discount as well," was Sara's contribution.

Pursing her lips, Jane browsed through the booklet. "Can't find it. Maybe they do, maybe they don't."

"I take it the Assassins don't leave a note as well, do they?"

"Well, they leave a message, to prove it was successfully completed. It won't exempt anyone from being killed again though."

Once again Ethan had to stop himself from rolling his eyes in exasperation, luckily one of the other girls was faster than his own reaction though. "No shit Sherlock."

"Yeah yeah. Anyway, from what I read here both the Assassin and thief are pretty cool. I don't see any trouble using these costumes."

"You sure?" Dawn asked, looking at her two friends.

"Yeah, I think it looks pretty good. Now, you know that leaves one other thing, don't you?" The last part of that sentence was directed by the blond at Jane, leaving Ethan to wonder what they were talking about.

"Who gets what? Yeah, but there's an easy solution for that," Jane nodded, before she turned to Ethan. "Do you have a piece of paper?"

Nodding he brought a piece of paper to the girls. They wanted to decide who got to wear what; a noble cause for which he'd happily sacrifice a piece of paper. Anything to get these three out of the shop as soon as he could. With a costume of course. The names of the suits were scribbled on the piece after which it was torn in two, and the girl called Dawn hid them behind her back.

Instead of directly choosing though, the other two first did a short game of rock, paper, scissors to determine who'd get to pick the hand. It was far too convoluted a way to make a decision for him, but all three of the girls seemed to understand it. In the end it was Jane who ended up with the Assassin's garb, while Sara had to settle for that of the thief. Not that she was really disappointed, but it was obvious to Ethan that both girls preferred the Assassin.

Which made it even more confusing that they didn't both dress in that costume. Still, even with one of them a thief he had no doubt that the girls would managed to further the chaos that would rule in Sunnydale during Halloween. Although... a grin crept on his face as he thought of something. Yes, there was a way for him to further the chaos even more and take revenge on the girl who was the cause that there wouldn't be three assassins running around tonight.

"I have something in the back that goes with your costume," Ethan told Jane who looked surprised at first, although that soon turned into happiness.

"Cool, what is it?"

"I'll be right back," he answered before quickly hurrying into the storage room. Once there he started to dig through the mountain of weapons until he found what he was looking for. A short, but fairly effective, spell later and he returned with the weapon in hand.

"What's that?" Sara asked, obviously not recognizing the weapon anymore than the other two did.

Showing them the slender weapon, Ethan explained. "This is a crossbow. I'm not sure of the name it actually has in the world of Ankh-Morpork, you might find it in that booklet you're still holding, but it is a crossbow."

"Ah, but aren't crossbows, you know, bigger?"

"This is a one shot weapon, basically it has all the stuff removed that makes it hard to hide."

"So it's only a spring? I don't think that's very accurate."

Well, at least the bearer of the weapon knew something about how these things worked. "Not on long distances no."

"Oh well, I was never into the whole sniper thing anyway," Jane smiled while accepting the weapon. "Now, let's do the paying thing."

"Of course," Ethan smiled while doing his best not to gleefully rub his hands together.

The transactions were swift and it wasn't long before he watched the three girls leave his shop, and peace and quiet returned for him. Finally, rest. It was hard to imagine that three little girls could make that much noise, but he was pretty sure there would be even more noise after Halloween. The sound of grief would probably be heard through the houses of the assassin-to-be and the future thief.

After all, what was an assassin without a target?

And what target would be more suitable than Death herself?

X.X.X

"I can't believe he did that to us," Buffy fumed as she stomped towards the library.

"Hey, at least you got a decent costume. Look at what Willow and I are stuck with."

Buffy stopped death in her tracks at those words and turned towards Xander with an incredulous look on her face. "A decent costume? You said it was pink! How can you call that a decent costume? I'm a hairdresser of all things!"

"A good looking one though."

She couldn't contain a smile at that, but it wasn't long before she frowned again. "True, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I wanted to go as something that would impress Angel, maybe a noblewoman from back when he was alive."

Xander rolled his eyes at her, but she didn't care. He was simply jealous of Angel, there was nothing more to it. "Yeah well, you're still better off than the two of us. According to the description card I'm nothing but a washed out cop, and Willow is actually described as having a good personality. A LOT of personality."

"Y-yeah Buffy," Willow added. "I'm going to be dressed in a tent. Oh, I know. Can't we wear something else?"

Before she or Xander actually had a chance to answer, Buffy could already see Willow's hopeful smile droop. "Oh, that would be going against the school rules. We can't do that."

Sure they could and, looking at Xander, Buffy could see that he completely agreed with that sentiment. Unfortunately she also knew there was no way that they'd ever be able to convince Willow to go against the authorities in this regard. Not because Willow would never do that, but simply because it wasn't a matter of life and death. Unless you counted the survival of her reputation that is. Imagine how a vampire would react if it saw her dressed as a hairdresser.

"Well, well, if it isn't the hairdresser, alcoholic, and fat girl." The sound came from behind them, and turning around the three of them saw Harmony and the rest of the Cordettes.

"Yeah well, who are you going as then? Somehow I doubt there are any reasonable costumes."

A predatory smile appeared on Harmony's face before she and her two friends struck up an even more theatrical pose. "We're among the most powerful women in the city. Only Cordelia herself has a higher position, because she's a duchess, but all three of us are guild leaders. We determine the fate of the city."

Drat. Why did these three, no four if you counted Cordelia, actually have good costumes? Aside from returning some insults there wasn't much she could do, and she didn't feel like doing that right now. What she really wanted was to go the library, draw Snyder's face on the dummy, and pummel it into oblivion.

Xander however wasn't so inclined and returned his own barb. "Yeah well, I've seen those costumes and it really makes you wonder how their wearers got such a high position. Probably for the same reason you're so popular with the football team."

"Ah, why don't you have a drink? I've read the card that went with yours you know. A feeble old cop who can't even afford to wear new boots. Really 'Sam,' what's up with that?"

Seeing that Xander wasn't going to win this round, Buffy started to lead her two friends away but Xander resisted long enough to go for one last attempt. "Where are your five friends 'Rosy'? Do you really think that with a name like that you could actually have a decent job?"

"Guild leader, Harris," Harmony smirked back. "Guild leader."

"Come on Xander, let's go."

This time her friend did allow her to guide him away, but it was obvious that he was far from happy. "Hey, cheer up. At least all three of us are wearing silly costumes."

"You're not an alcoholic," Xander muttered so softly that even Buffy had some trouble hearing it. Although it was Willow who spoke up in support of her friend.

"Hey, former alcoholic, Xander. Your character got over it. Mine probably still eats more than her own weight in chocolate every day."

Xander sighed at that. "Yeah, we make for quite a miserable bunch, don't we?"

Buffy nodded in silent agreement, and as she noticed Willow do the same she tried to give a more positive note to the matter. "Yes, but we won't let that stop us will we? There's no reason anyone has to see actually see us in these costumes. It's not like we're forced to wear them."

At that moment the speaker crackled, and the voice they had all learned to hate came through. "This is a message to all students. Due to the legacy of my predecessor, all of you will gather in the auditorium on the night of Halloween. Dressed in your costume. For those of you for whom a costume has been selected, it will be mandatory to wear that costume during the gathering."

Oh god no. Buffy briefly closed her eyes as she realized she wouldn't be able to get out of wearing the costume after all. When she opened her eyes she couldn't help but notice the stares of her best friends, making her realize that she was the one who'd just jinxed them. "Ehm, knock on wood?"

A tiny smile crossed at least Xander's face, although he looked more tired than angry anyway. "Long live our great principal eh?"

"Yeah. Wouldn't know what we'd be doing without him."

Silently the three of them continued to the library, but stopped while standing in front of the door. Someone inside was making a lot of noise, and it sounded surprisingly like an angry Cordelia. "Great," Willow sighed, "what's her problem this time."

"Well, if Harmony was right it can't be her costume," Buffy suggested, until she suddenly noticed Xander's wide grin.

"Oh, I wouldn't know about that," he said. Xander had apparently pushed the doubts about his own costume aside for the moment, and was clearly enjoying the fact that he knew something that they didn't.

A feeling Buffy did not share. "What do you mean? She's some kind of duchess isn't she?"

"Yep. Except that the duchess has a bit of a strange taste when it comes to clothes."

"You've seen her costume as well?"

"I've seen them all. They were delivered when I went home from the Scooby meeting yesterday. And while I'm not happy with my costume, there were quite a few that were even worse."

Worse? He had been close to shoving the thing up Snyder's- Ugh. Bad image. No thinking about that. "What's so special about Cordy's costume then?"

"Wait and see," Xander smiled mysteriously and threw open the double doors. "Good morning people."

They were greeted by an angry looking Cordelia, and a Giles who seemed unusually happy to see them. "Buffy, Willow, Xander. Thank heavens you're here. Cordelia has just been explaining her problem to me, but I'm sure she won't mind if you take over from me while I attend to... ah library things."

With those words the Brit quickly moved to his office, causing Buffy to glare at him. The traitorous coward. However when she then turned to face the angry Cordelia she started to understand why he had left.

"This has to be your fault!"

"What?"

"Everything that happens here is your fault, before you arrived things like this never happened. Without you Flutie probably never would have died, and we wouldn't be forced to do this. And even if he had," the girl continued on before Buffy had a chance to deny anything, "I wouldn't have been the one who'd have to wear this, this thing. You know Snyder picked our class because he hates you."

"But-"

"No excuses, it's because of you that I'm now going to be dressed as some kind of crazy woman. That's not something I take lightly you know. I'd ask daddy to interfere with the school council if I thought it would help, but from what I understand of the whole legal thing it's unlikely he'd succeed. I could ask one of our lawyers to look into it, but that would take too long."

"What-"

Cordelia wouldn't be deterred however, and continued her tirade. "This leaves only one other option. Now, what are you going to do about this?"

"What am I gonna do about this?" Buffy asked incredulously once Cordelia allowed her to speak. Why would she do anything about Cordelia's problem?

"Yes, you're the cause of all my problems, and I want to know how you plan to fix this one. You don't seriously believe I'm willing to wear this, do you?"

"I don't even know what's so bad about your costume! It's not like we actually were lucky when it comes to that you know. You at least are some kind of noble, aren't you? Angel would probably like to see me in an outfit like that."

"Hah! Somehow I doubt that. I went through the pockets of the costume and actually found notes there. Do you know what this woman's hobby is? Do you?" Buffy had to concede she didn't, and apparently neither did the other two, although Xander was still wearing the large grin from before. "She raises dragons! Can you believe it?"

"Dragons? What like fire-breathing, flying dragons?" Judging by his breathless voice, Xander hadn't known this. It made Buffy realize something else though, she hadn't realized it during her earlier conversation with Xander and Willow, but they were all acting as if the costumes belonged to real people, instead of having been made up. That thought quickly left her mind though when the subject got brought back on track.

"No, they're tiny annoying dragons that apparently suffer more from stomach diseases than you do from brain rot. According to this." Cordelia waved a stack of papers in their faces. "According to this, these things actually blow themselves up when they hiccup. That is, when they aren't emptying their stomach contents one way or another. Now, what do you think the clothes of a woman like that look like?"

"Like shit?" Buffy asked, desperately trying to stop herself from laughing, finally understanding what Xander thought was so funny.

"No! I mean yes. But not normal shit, oh no. This so-called duchess has clothes completely covered in dragon shit! Dragon shit! I'll never be able to get that out, even if I knew how. Now, I don't actually mind dressing like a duchess, but I want to know how to get the droppings of her pets out of my clothes. The whole bottom of the dress is white! And I'll already have to have someone fit it. Because not only does she like dragons, she apparently doesn't believe a diet is necessary either!"

"Ehm, that's really a shame Cordy," Xander grinned. "But what do you think we can do about it? It's not like we've drawn a better lot. Buffy is a hairdresser named Conina, Willow is some sort of opera singing witch with two names, and I'm a washed out cop called Vimes."

In Buffy's opinion, the most interesting thing about that speech was Cordelia's reaction. While the girl at first didn't seem to care about anything that had to do with the three of them, she actually blanched when Xander mentioned the name of his character. "Vimes?" Cordelia squeaked.

"Yes, why? Is there something about him in your notes?"

Cordelia quickly gathered those notes to herself before denying that fact. "No, there's nothing here about a washed out cop. Why would there be?"

"I don't know, you just reacted a bit strange, that's all."

"You must be imagining things. Now, I repeat my question, what are you going to do?"

Before Buffy had to come up with something else, she was distracted by the library doors being opened by another angry person. This person however was no student, instead it was the only teacher that probably half the population of the school dreamed about at night. "Rupert! Have you heard what that troll has decided on now?"

That did actually serve to bring Giles out of his office, and Buffy looked with barely concealed mirth as he was now the one to bear the brunt of someone's anger. The fact that Giles had to deal with Cordelia before they arrived wasn't important in her opinion. He shouldn't have deserted her in her time of need. After all, he was her Watcher, wasn't he? "Jenny? What's wrong?"

"Did you hear what Snyder demands? We have to wear some kind of ridiculous costume for Halloween, and be present at school for some even more ridiculous gathering where he can check if we're actually wearing the rags he chose for us."

"Oh that, yes I've heard something about that," Giles nodded. "Personally I don't like it either, but I figured that after showing myself for a couple of minutes I'd be able to go home and read for a bit."

"I had plans for that night! And they didn't involve wearing some kind of ridiculous black dress that was constructed somewhere in the seventeenth century!"

"Because of the style?" Cordelia asked.

"No, because it looks like it could fall apart any time now."

"Oh, too bad. Otherwise I might have wanted to switch." Sneaking a strange look at Xander, she then tried again. "Are you sure it's that bad? Maybe it can be patched up."

"No, and besides I doubt you'd want to wear the hat."

"Hat?"

Jenny nodded, while looking at all of them. "There's this ridiculous big hat that comes with the dress. One of those stereotypical witch hats."

"All black and pointy?" Xander asked amused.

"One of those, yes."

"What? Seriously?" he asked surprised, making Buffy understand he hadn't actually believed his own words. "Hey Wills, maybe you've got one as well."

That caught Jenny by surprise and Buffy decided to explain. "Willow's a witch too."

"How come you don't know if she's got a hat then?"

"Students aren't allowed to see their costumes yet. Except of course, that apparently both Cordelia and Xander have seen theirs."

"Of course I have. You didn't actually expect me not to check on what I'll be wearing, did you?" Cordelia asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, imagine that. Cordelia not knowing what she'll be wearing," Xander muttered.

"Hey! I'm not the only one remember."

"In my case it was an accident. I just happened to walk into them loading the stuff out," Buffy heard her friend explain.

Cordelia didn't seem to exactly believe that though. "Right, and then you accidentally remained there while they continued doing so. You weren't at all curious about the costumes."

"Nope," Xander replied with an unrepentant grin on his face. "I helped with the unloading, that gave me a far better opportunity to examine the costumes. Besides, the lawyer types were actually nice, though a bit weird."

"They're lawyers. How could they not be weird?" Buffy asked, having seen more than her share of them walking around in LA.

"Well, they were a bit weirder than usual. Anyway, That's how I know what everyone'll be wearing."

"What you said to Harmony..." Willow said with a wide-eyed look. "Have you actually seen what she'll be wearing?"

"Yep," Xander nodded with a big smile. "And Cordelia's costume is so much better."

"Of course it is, my stuff is always better," Cordelia said without even thinking about it, but halted when her thoughts caught up. "Hold on, my costume is drenched in shit. How can that be better?"

"You're a duchess, Harmony has a rather, ah, old profession."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Yeah Xander, what do you mean by that?"

Before he could explain it to them however, they were distracted by Jenny's surprised acclamation. "You're what?"

Turning around they saw her staring surprised at Giles, who had apparently continued his conversation with Jenny. "I'm a wizard. Apparently a senior member of the faculty of some place named Unseen University."

"You mean to tell me that I'm some moldy old witch, while you're a senior member of a university? How did you manage that?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but I think it's because of the name."

"What name G-man?"

"Don't call me that Xander," Buffy heard her Watcher sigh, before he started to polish his glasses again. "But apparently the, ah, name of my character is Ridiculous."

"Okay, tell us."

"Ridiculous."

"No, I want to kno-" Xander stopped his question halfway through, as all of them suddenly seemed to understand what Giles was trying to say.

It was Buffy who spoke then. "You mean your costume belongs to someone named Ridiculous?" It was hard to contain her laughter, but thinking about her own costume helped in that regard.

"Apparently. Unless Snyder made a mistake, which frankly I'm still hoping."

Even Jenny had to suppress her own laughter. "Well Rupert, it might be a bit of a strange name."

"Ridiculous even," Xander interrupted.

"But somehow it seems to suit you."

"Very funny," Giles sighed. "At least no vampires will hear anyone calling me that."

"What do you mean?" Willow asked before Buffy could do so herself.

"It's Halloween, no self-respecting demon would go out during that night. They don't like the commercialism that comes with it."

"But that's only been the last fifty years or so, hasn't it? That doesn't make much sense," Willow muttered.

"Who cares?" Buffy asked. "Now I just hope I can get away from that gathering of Snyder as fast as possible before going home. With Dawn walking the streets I'll be able to spend the evening in peace."

Oh yes, that would be bliss. Combine that with watching a couple of tearjerkers and she'd be completely set. Did her mother have to work on Halloween? She wasn't sure, so Buffy decided to ask once she got home. Both with and without her mother the evening had prospects, and she wasn't quite sure which she'd prefer. Still, any night without Dawn and her friends was a good night.

X.X.X

Okay, that was enough. With a snap of her fingers Suzan froze the scene before her and walked out from between the bookshelves where she'd been standing. Taking the notes that the girl called Cordelia was still holding, she examined them. Alright, it didn't appear as if there was anything of great importance here. Still, Sybil had probably forgotten to remove these notes and would undoubtedly want them back.

Luckily she'd observed a teacher using some kind of machine earlier which seemed capable of making copies. With the notes in hand, she walked out of the library and to the room where that piece of equipment was standing. Looking it over she wondered how it worked. The teacher had lifted up the lid and placed the note on it before pushing a lot of different buttons.

While she wasn't entirely certain of every step he'd taken to make the machine work, Suzan had a feeling that the big green button with start written on it was an important part of the process. Putting the first of the sheets on the machine she pressed the button, only to be surprised by the harsh light that suddenly emanated from it. Blinking away the spots that had appeared on her eyes, she mentally berated herself.

The teacher had closed the lid, and obviously that had been a move she needed to carry out as well. Closing the lid Suzan tried again, this time watching a blank paper appear from somewhere inside the machine.

It joined another that was already lying there, and while there was some improvement over the first attempt, Suzan wondered it still wasn't working like she'd expected. The teacher had put the paper on the machine, and had been satisfied. He couldn't have done that just to get a gray smear on white paper, could he? That seemed to be such a roundabout way to do stuff. Still there were other strange things about this world that she hadn't quite figured out so this could simply be another detail.

Her current problem was how to copy these notes however, and as she was certain that this was the right way to do that she tried again. Another blank paper rolled out, but this time Suzan thought of a possible solution. And indeed, once she'd flipped the original paper over it seemed to work perfectly. Well, more or less perfectly as it hadn't been aligned quite right yet, but it wasn't long before she managed to make perfect copies.

Back in the library she returned the original papers to the girl, before taking one last look at the assembled people. Yes, these would do. There were a couple of other important children and teachers as well, but this was the core group. Not that she agreed with all the costume choices, but she simply didn't dare to make more changes than this.

Buffy Summers, the Slayer, was especially a thorn in her eye. But there she was forced to agree with the wizards. While turning her into a witch would undoubtedly have been useful, it was too dangerous to give her any costume that might have some magic associated with it. The Slayer spirit possessing her had a link to the Dungeon Dimensions, and too many things could go wrong if she tried to fool around with that.

A rare smile graced her face as she considered that all in all she'd done a great job. Everything seemed to be working out perfectly. She had been worried for a moment there that some of the costumes would end up with the wrong people, but everything was as it should be. Suzan gave a final nod at a job well done and walked out of the library. Once she'd passed through the doors she allowed time to resume its normal course for the people around her, and continued through the milling mass of children.

While nobody actually noticed her walking there everyone did get out of her way. It was one of those aspects of being Death's granddaughter that she actually appreciated. The ability to go wherever she wanted without being noticed. If that was what she wanted. The way she could stop herself from being noticed was something she hadn't been certain would work with a supernatural being like Buffy Summers, but that hadn't been a problem at all.

Which was simply more proof that the Discworld was indeed higher in the pecking order of dimensions. That, or the Slayer wasn't as powerful as she'd thought.

Walking off the schoolyard she looked around for her companion here. Ah, there he was. Poor man. Ponder Stibbons obviously wasn't nearly as happy about being on this world as he claimed. Her own way of interfering with the wizards' plans probably played a large part in that. Approaching him from behind, she wasn't too old to tease him by greeting him without warning. "Hello Ponder."

The effect it had wasn't as bad as she'd thought, but the small jump was proof that the young wizard couldn't stop himself from reacting completely. "Ah, miss Sto-Helit. You are done?"

"Yes, everything seems to be going well."

"Excellent. I think it's time we left then, don't you? I've discovered some interesting things that I'd like to discuss with some of my colleagues and students. Things we might use with HEX."

"Yes, we can leave," she said while starting to walk. "I still don't get it though, why did Ridcully decide to make the Slayer a hairdresser? I didn't have a better idea, but a hairdresser? It doesn't seem to fit."

"Oh, there was a good reason for dressing her like this. It fits her personality pretty well from what I've heard."

"The Slayer is like a hairdresser?" Suzan asked surprised.

"No, it's to do with this particular hairdresser. The costume was actually recommended by another wizard though."

Okay. "Who?"

"Rincewind."

Now, why did that name sound familiar? "I know that name, I just can't remember from where."

"Well, he's our Lecturer of Cruel and Unusual Geography, so he's often out of the University. When he doesn't have a choice that is."

"No, that's not it, it's from somewhere else." At that moment it clicked, and she had to stop herself from looking at Stibbons in amazement. "Hold on, you made a decision on his recommendation? The man's a complete and utter fool!"

"He's a bit unusual, but I wouldn't call him a fool. But I take it you figured out where you remembered him from?"

"Yes, grandfather has mentioned him a couple of times."

"What?"

"It's true, you know how fisherman talk about the one that got away?"

"Yes..." Stibbons said, sounding uncertain about where this discussion was going.

"That's how grandfather talks about this Rincewind."

That obviously surprised the wizard, as it should, after all it wasn't exactly common for anyone to get away from her grandfather. Still, uncommon events were actually quite usual on the Discworld, no matter how strange that sounded.

The two of them continued their walk in silence, neither sure what they could talk about. Both of them had secrets that the other shouldn't know, of that she was certain. Except of course that Ponder Stibbons couldn't really keep anything a secret from her. Not that it mattered anymore to Suzan. The task that her grandfather had set her was finally over and done with. All that was left now was to get back, and then she could get back to her teaching. Who knew what those kids were getting up to without her strict hand to guide them?

Getting away from this world was in itself a very good thing. Aside from the unnaturalness of having a round world, something where you couldn't be certain you wouldn't fall off, it stank. Sure that might sound a bit odd coming from someone living in Ankh-Morpork. But this stench was different. It wasn't like the one that came from the Ankh as it oozed through the city, or from Foul ol' Ron. She wasn't entirely sure where the scent came from, although she had her suspicions that it had something to do with those strange carriages, those cars.

"Ah, miss Sto-Helit?"

Stibbons wanted something. Turning her head to look at him she noticed his nervous expression and quickly focused her complete attention on him. "Yes?"

"Why them?"

Ah, well turnabout was fair play and all. "Why did I mess up the Archchancellor's plan you mean?"

He was nervous, still a bit afraid of her probably, so his answer came in a soft voice. "Yes, why did you change their costumes?"

"There was need for a member of the guard."

"We already had those!" Stibbons exclaimed, momentarily forgetting his nervousness. "Why did you want him here? When the Archchancellor finds out during Halloween, he won't be happy about that."

"There was need for someone who wouldn't feel any remorse about countering the Archchancellor, and he fits that bill."

"Of course he does, Vimes' mission in life is to step on the toes of those above him."

"Well, there aren't many of those left, are there? Not since he became a duke."

"That's not the point. There's a reason they call him Vetinari's terrier. He never let's go of anything and the only one who has a chance of controlling him is the Patrician himself."

"Another man your Archchancellor didn't want here."

Obviously still upset, Stibbons rolled his eyes at that statement. "The Patrician wouldn't be of any use here. All he'd do is try to take over."

"Of course, and we wouldn't want that, would we?" This was fun, she hadn't had an argument like this in a long time, and now she was enjoying it.

"No! We certainly wouldn't," Stibbons said indignantly.

"It's a good thing then that I didn't ask him as well, don't you agree?"

"Ask him? You mean you asked Vimes?"

Smiling sweetly, or as sweetly as she could, Suzan answered him. "Of course, it was the best way to get what I needed. Well, I went through Sybil of course and she didn't want him to go alone. Which is why the girl is now dressed as her. Of course, without her to keep Vimes in control it would almost have been as if the Patrician himself was here."

She watched Stibbons' discomfort at that thought, but didn't comment on it. "You know that can't work out right miss Sto-Helit. Vimes always messes everything up."

"Does he? I thought he always succeeded in his job."

"He doesn't do things the way they should be done," Stibbons countered.

"Really? Why? Because he accepts every race into the Watch? That wasn't his decision you know, at first the Patrician was behind that, and these days it's Carrot who makes the recruitment decisions. Well, most of the time at least."

The wizard was digesting those words, obviously thinking about the captain of the Watch. Everybody knew Carrot Ironfoundersson, the young man who was raised as a dwarf, and by many to be believed the true king of Ankh-Morpork. Not that anyone would say so. Especially not anywhere the Patrician would find out about it. Which was basically anywhere within 50 miles of Ankh-Morpork.

Everything further away than that would give you at least some time to start running before the Patrician came after you.

Still, as far as she figured there was no chance that Carrot would ever take the throne. Not unless Vetinari or his successor did something that would force the young man to do so. The problem with that in her, and probably Vetinari's, opinion was that he would succeed far too easily. Everybody in the city would follow him. If the rumors she'd heard were true, and considering the source she didn't doubt that, Carrot had known more about the city, and its inhabitants, within twenty-four hours of his arrival than most people found out in their entire life.

No, Carrot was a good man, the kind of man everybody liked, but like Vimes and Vetinari he was one of the people the wizards had objected to the most. Which meant it was probably better if she didn't mention him anymore.

X.X.X

"Oz?"

Raising an eyebrow in answer to Devon's question, Oz allowed part of his attention to wander from the corner he was turning his van around.

"What's with the metal in the back?"

"Costume."

"What for Halloween? Dude, that's pretty sweet. But why is it so shiny? I'd have figured you'd go for black armor."

This was how he'd gotten it from the weird woman and he'd never even imagined changing it. "It's cool."

"True," Devon conceded before lapsing into silence again. A silence he broke shortly after. "So, you gonna go to the party in the Bronze?"

Nodding his head to indicate that was indeed his plan, Oz wondered a bit how strange things could go. Three days ago the Dingoes were still booked for a performance during Halloween and he hadn't had any plans to go out after that. Two days ago word came that their performance was canceled and he'd had to start thinking of something else to do.

Then yesterday had arrived, and that day brought with it the weird schoolteacher. Well, she hadn't said she was a schoolteacher but that's what she reminded him off. She'd approached him in a manner he could respect, not using many words and not blathering about inconsequential things either. When the woman, Suzan, then offered him the sale of a nice costume, he'd jumped on the chance.

….…

"Hello," the woman said as he passed her.

Nodding his head, Oz returned the greeting but remained silent.

"Looking for a Halloween costume?"

He was actually; he wasn't quite sure yet what he wanted to go as, but figured he'd find something nice in the store. There was always something black, or something in another color that would suit him. So, once again he nodded. There were strange people here in Sunnydale, but he figured this one was probably alright.

"I've got one for sale."

This time he decided to break the silence. "Depends."

A slight smile graced the woman's stern face. "I understand, you'll like this one though."

Shrugging he thought she could be right. Then again, she didn't know him so she could be completely wrong as well. He'd wait and see before judging her. Still, there was something about her that nagged at him a bit. She was like a schoolteacher, a bit cooler than the ones he was used to but still a teacher. The problem with people like that was always that they thought they knew better. Of course, his own teachers had given up long ago where it concerned him, but this one was new.

Seeing his impassive face didn't change the woman's behavior in any way though, which impressed him. There weren't many people who could stand a look like that. Putting her fingers to her mouth, she whistled. Raising an eyebrow he wondered what that was about when a horse suddenly appeared out of a nearby alley. Huh. He actually raised his other eyebrow as well when he noticed that. Yep, it was definitely a horse. In fact, it was the horsiest horse he'd ever seen. Oz had simply never expected to actually encounter one in a Sunnydale alley.

"This is Binky," the woman introduced the animal. Which meant he now knew at least the name of the horse, even though he was still missing the same where it came to the woman. She probably realized this as well as she introduced herself. "I'm Suzan."

"Oz," he responded, and as being polite couldn't hurt, even when it was to a horse, he nodded a greeting to which the big white horse responded in kind. A smile appeared on his face at that. Cute.

"Binky is my grandfather's, but I've borrowed him for a couple of days. He doesn't really need him to do his job but, being the traditionalist that he is, keeps Binky around. Of course, it also means that Binky is probably the most spoiled horse in existence."

The empathic way the horse shook its head, made Oz suspect that it was a very clever animal. Well, if he'd actually believed that the horse understood the words instead of the teasing tone in which they were delivered it would have been even more impressive. That had been the longest monologue the woman had held in the entire conversation, and when she next spoke again Suzan had gone back to short sentences.

"It's pretty heavy, but you look strong enough to handle it," Suzan said while digging through one of the baskets hanging from the horse.

A heavy costume, he wondered, why would anyone want to have a heavy costume? When he saw the woman take out the armor though, he was impressed. Now that was one authentic looking armor. And that something like that was heavy was understandable. The only thing he wasn't too sure about where it came to being authentic was how clean it looked. Would there actually have been people who polished their armor every day? Because that's what this looked like.

Still, it was cool and he thought that he might- Okay... "What's that?"

Holding up the strange, vaguely hemispherical device Suzan shrugged. "It's a, ah, codpiece."

….…

"You?" Oz asked Devon, tearing his mind away from that strange conversation and back to where it belonged.

"Yeah, I got myself a cool costume as well. An assassin with the weirdest name ever."

Raising an eyebrow in a silent request for more information, he wondered what his friend thought was a weird name.

"Seriously dude, a guy named Teatime."


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Hi Mrs. S," Xander said when the door opened for him.

"Hello Xander. It's nice of you to come."

"Did you really believe that I'd say no to your cooking? I can't believe you have so little faith in me. In fact, I'm wounded." Grabbing at his chest, Xander pretended to suffer a mortal wound until Mrs. Summers couldn't hide her giggle anymore.

"Okay Xander. I'm really sorry to have made such an accusation. Could you possibly accept my apologies?" Mrs. Summers managed through her laughter.

Pretending to think about it, Xander hesitated before answering. "Of course. This is the night of joy, happiness, and candy. If we can't forgive each other at a day like this, when can we?"

"Nicely spoken," Mrs. Summers complimented him.

"Thank you. Ehm, now that we're on the subject of forgiveness and all, is there something I can ask?"

Mrs. Summers appeared a bit weary of what he was about to say, but agreed nonetheless. "Of course."

"I'm not fully dressed at the moment, and I won't be during dinner either."

That confused her, just like he'd expected. "I don't understand, you look presentable to me. That's your costume you're wearing, isn't it?"

"It's not complete," Xander answered while doing his best to keep a straight face.

Looking him over, Mrs. Summers only seemed to grow more confused. "What is missing then?"

"The armor of course. I really feel like I shouldn't do this to you, but I can't wear that during dinner."

"Armor," Mrs. Summers sighed while closing her eyes briefly, before opening them again as a smile appeared on her face. "You, you."

"Thank you. It's always good to see that your talents are appreciated."

"Oh you. Step inside, I have a feeling that if I leave you on the doorstep much longer you'll come up with something worse."

"Okay," Xander said while stepping past her. "Where can I put this?"

"The armor is in that bag?"

"The armor, the helmet, and even the rusty old sword. Not a real one though," he hastened to add at her look. You shouldn't overdo the teasing after all.

"Just put it in the hallway. With everybody who's come to dinner I'm not sure if it would be safe anywhere else."

"Everyone? I know Buffy asked Willow, but is there anyone else coming?"

"Buffy wasn't the only one to ask friends over, and Da-" Whatever else Mrs. Summers had been about to ask was cut short as they noticed a tornado coming down the stairs. Well, a short, brunette tornado. One that was closely followed by a slightly taller, blond, screeching, tornado.

"Give that back!"

"You don't need it! You're supposed to be a hairdresser!" Dawn answered Buffy's demand, while skillfully evading her mother's reaching hands.

"It was part of the costume!"

"Must've been a mistake," Dawn taunted once she'd reached the table and could keep that between her and her sister.

"It was no mistake! Everybody knows that hairdressers have knives!"

"Not knives like this! Why don't I keep it so that you can't hurt yourself with it?"

"You give that back now!"

Mrs. Summers heaved a deep sigh, but it was someone else who spoke up. "They're at it again, huh?"

Tearing his eyes away from the scene of what he knew could go on for a long time, Xander looked behind him and noticed two girls standing in the still open doorway. Friends of Dawn if he remembered correctly. Not that he actually remembered their names...

"Jane, Sara. Come in. My, you two look spiffy in your costumes."

"It's cool, isn't it? I mean, at first I was a bit bummed that Jane got the Assassin's suit, but it looks really good on her. The black really brings out her eyes, and with her hair like that it's pretty cool. Of course, I would have looked good in it as well, but she was the lucky one."

Distracted from the childish behavior of her daughters, Mrs. Summers smiled at Sara. "Your costume is really good too though."

"Oh, I know that," the girl answered with a wave of her hand. "And I don't really feel any regret either about not being the Assassin, especially as I realized that I could have a lot more fun like this."

"Really? And why is that?"

"Isn't it obvious? She's going to start robbing everyone and their grandma of candy," Jane said while rolling her eyes.

"Really?" Xander asked. "That is a good cause on Halloween, but you won't forget to leave a note, will you?"

"Cool! I know Dawn said something about Buffy dressing like someone from there as well, but she didn't mention anyone else. What are you going as?" Sara enthusiastically said.

"I am a member of the Ankh-Morpork Watch," Xander said, deciding not to mention that technically speaking his character was no longer a member. Not that he'd actually figured out what that was though. Since he'd gotten the costume, and the accompanying explanation to ensure he dressed the way he should, he had been busy trying to understand it.

Apparently the costume belonged to someone who was once a captain of the Watch, but he no longer was. He wasn't demoted, and there was no higher rank in the Watch either. The only thing that made any sense then was that he'd either been kicked out, or retired. However, in that case there wouldn't be a point in wearing armor.

"So we're like natural enemies?" Jane interrupted his musings. "Does that mean I can't show you the cool crossbow I've got? Because it's supposed to be illegal inside the city."

"Well, technically I should order you to leave it behind then," Xander started, before speaking up louder. "But as both our friends are still acting like a couple of little children!"

"I'll stop acting like that, once I've got my knife back!" Buffy yelled back, but Xander was already going on.

"I don't really see any problem in you showing it to me. We can compare weapons, I've got a sword."

"No comparing of weapons in my house," Mrs. Summers said, obviously deciding that enough was enough. "And you two. Cut that out, now!"

"But mo-o-om she still has my knife," Buffy wailed. Not the kind of behavior Xander expected from his friend, but she probably knew best how to handle her own mother.

"Dawn, give that back to your sister."

"What? Why? She always steals my stuff, and she really doesn't need it for her costume. She's a hairdresser remember? What kind of hairdresser would have a knife? Or an axe for that matter"

"Axe?" Mrs. Summers asked her oldest daughter.

"It came with the costume. In fact it's the only thing that actually makes it a decent one. Otherwise I might as well have gone as little red riding hood again."

"Little red riding hood?" Xander asked incredulously. An incredulousness that quickly made way when he imagined how Buffy would look in such a costume. "Hmm. Sounds nice. I wouldn't mind seeing you in that. Looking all innocent and such, but with a nice short skirt that would show-"

"Xander!"

Oh, oh. "Did I say that out loud? Because in that case you probably didn't know what I was really talking about. Because I would never talk like that about any of my friends." Especially ones who were able to lift a car.

Dawn however had made use of Buffy's distraction, and ran past her sister, past her mother, past Xander, and only slowed down to greet her friends before running out the door. "She's getting away!" Buffy screamed, and once again set out after her sister.

A heavy sigh from Mrs. Summers told Xander that this wasn't what she had planned for today. "They'll probably be right back. I doubt Dawn can keep away from Buffy for long," he tried to console the woman.

"Hah! Dawn can manage that easily," Sara countered, obviously not pleased that he had more faith in Buffy than in her friend. Of course, he couldn't really explain that once out in the open, where nobody would really be paying any attention to her, Buffy could simply apply a bit of her Slayer-speed to the problem.

While coming up with a reply that would hide that fact, Xander noticed Mrs. Summers walking back into the house, probably to check on her cooking. It was from another direction that the next comment came however. "What did Dawn do this time?"

Once again turning to face the door-opening, Xander noticed his other best friend had arrived as well. "Hey Wills. From what I understood she took Buffy's knife, and Buffy didn't like that. Not that I don't agree with Dawn that it's a bit strange for a hairdresser to have a knife, but still."

"I-it could be for shaving and stuff. That's what they used to do before shavers were invented. The men would go to the barber, who'd then use a very sharp knife to shave them. That would explain why Buffy had a knife with her costume, I mean it makes sense, doesn't it?"

"Easy Willow, breathe. Deep calm breaths."

The stressed out Willow followed his advice, and it wasn't long before she was back to a normal talking speed. "I'm good. Thanks Xander."

"Anytime. So, why were you so stressed out? The costume? Because it doesn't look bad you know." In fact, it looked better than he'd expected it to. Especially when you considered the incredible size it had originally been.

"Oh no, I was afraid I was late. But you haven't even started yet so I can-"

"Hey Wills," Buffy spoke up from behind them, while dragging a recalcitrant Dawn behind her. An action that made Dawn's friends blink. Apparently they really weren't used to anyone being able to make Dawn move when she didn't want to.

"Hey Buffy. You look nice."

"You too Wills. The black looks pretty good."

"It looks better on Jane," Dawn interrupted, probably trying to convince her sister that she had cooler friends. Or something like that. Xander hadn't yet managed to get a real understanding of sibling rivalry. Before meeting the Summers sisters he'd always assumed the term was grossly exaggerated. Now he could barely understand why they called it rivalry, instead of war.

One of the reasons Dawn was so willing to go so far in these matters was probably because her friends were more than willing to help her. As demonstrated by Sara. "Of course Jane looks better. I dressed her."

"Don't listen to them Will. They're only doing that because miss I-can't-stay-away-from-other-people's-stuff here had to give up."

"I can SO stay away from other people's stuff, and besides... I'm not the one who constantly reads her sister's diary. That's you. Ugh, as if I'd want to read even more of all that icky stuff you do with that angel guy. What's his real name by the way? You still haven't told me your boyfriend's real name. Instead you always keep calling him angel."

"First," Buffy started, "you can't keep from other people's stuff. Second, I barely ever read your diary unless I need something that you took. Because you keep on writing it in there."

"Of course I do. That way I can prove to mom that you've been reading my diary again."

"Yeah. And that's fair how?"

By now Dawn had enough of her sister's manhandling, and shook her arm loose. "Who says it's fair? Besides you still haven't told me the name of your boyfriend. I mean in the beginning you called him the mysterious guy. Or the sexy mysterious guy, or the sexy handsome guy, or-"

"Enough," Buffy said while putting her hand over Dawn's mouth. Not that the damage hadn't already been done. Because it was too late for any damage control, yuck, Xander was pretty sure he'd be having nightmares during the coming nights.

"Right, and with that over and done with I think it's time we go to see how the beautiful Mrs. Summers is handling the cooking. Maybe we can help. I'm good at testing food." Even setting the table would be a good distraction. Anything to get his mind away from the disturbing thoughts that had been put there.

"You're not going to flirt with my mom, are you? With all those beautiful Mrs. Summers comments?" Buffy asked suspiciously.

"Buffy, you wound me."

"Oh brother," Buffy whispered just loud enough for him to hear. Not that it stopped him.

"How can I not say that she is beautiful when she has brought two such beautiful young ladies on the world?"

Both sisters snorted at that, and spoke the same words before glaring angrily at each other. "Beautiful? Her? You've got to be kidding."

….…

"So, Willow. Can you tell me the name of Buffy's boyfriend?" Dawn asked as the six of them were walking through the still calm streets. It was a bit early for the trick-or-treaters to be out, but it wasn't as if any of them actually had a choice in the matter.

Well, Dawn and her friends had. But apparently they'd decided to start early so they could show of their costumes longer. Not that he could blame them, after all they could actually choose had actually their costumes. With the possible exception of Dawn. A point Xander wasn't entirely certain about, but as she was more than happy with her Death/teacher costume why should he bother?

"I'm not sure..."

"Oh go ahead Wills. Maybe she'll believe you and stop bugging me," Buffy shrugged. "I've tried it so often, but she never believes me."

"Well, duh. You keep on telling me the guy's name is Angel. I mean, who in their right mind would believe something like that? And from what you wrote in your diary, the whole thing about how you met him seemed a bit iffy to me too."

"Ah, Dawnie?" Xander tried.

"It's Dawn," the little girl told him with the glare of the righteously insulted.

"Okay. Dawn it is. Anyway, Buffy really is telling the truth you know. No matter how much I don't like the guy, his name really is Angel," Xander told her. The whole sibling war thing was actually starting to become a bit stale. Not boring--far from it--but he'd had enough of it for now.

"A guy named Angel? Right. You never wrote anything about him being a drag-queen," Dawn pointed out to Buffy.

"He's not!"

"Dawn?" Willow asked. "Weren't you complaining about how Buffy is always reading your diary? If you never do that, how come you know so much about it?"

Jane laughed out loud at that, Buffy grinned openly, and Xander himself felt the urge to cover his smile as he saw the deer-caught-in-headlights look Dawn was wearing. "That doesn't matter."

"Oh come of it, Dawnie. You know that she caught you. How many times do I have to tell you that logic is important?" Jane said.

"Ha ha. Let's go. I've had enough of these. Let them have their fun at their incredibly cool, and mandatory, party. We've got candy to collect."

"Don't forget that mom told you to be home by nine!" Buffy shouted at the departing back of her sister, before turning back to them. "Well, we finally got rid of them. Great job Willow, I'll have to remember using something like that the next time she's annoying me. Which is either tonight or tomorrow."

"Oh, she isn't that bad, is she?" Willow answered.

"Didn't you see what she did tonight? How she stole my knife?"

"Yeah, about that," Xander said, "what's up with that anyway?"

"It improves the costume?" Buffy asked in reply.

"What I don't get is how our costumes suddenly seem so much better. I mean when I brought the costumes inside they all looked kinda moldy and stuff, especially ours, but now they look pretty good. Apart from the rust that is."

"Yeah, I mean even my costume looks pretty decent. It looked so big, but when I put it on it just seemed to fit."

"As if by magic, right? The costume suddenly seemed made for you?" Buffy agreed with Willow.

"Ehm, am I the only one who's worried about that?" Xander asked.

Both his friends shook their heads at that. "No, I'm not entirely happy about it either, but have you tried taking it off?"

"What do you mean?"

"It doesn't come off. I tried earlier tonight, but it didn't work."

Both Xander and Willow stopped as Buffy said this. "You're kidding, right? Please tell me that's a joke."

"Sorry."

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" Xander asked while frantically tugging at the armor he was now wearing. It went off earlier, didn't it? After trying it on he had been able to take it off until shortly before they left. So why didn't it come off now? "It's not coming off."

"I know. That's what I said."

"B-but why?" Willow asked. "A-and why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"I tried to call Giles, but he wasn't home, and I didn't want to worry mom and Dawn. That's also why I wanted her gone. Being annoying is bad enough, but I didn't want her to be involved with this either."

"Her friends are wearing costumes like ours, and isn't Dawn's like that as well?" Xander asked.

"I've seen her put it on and off like thirty times during the last three days. She doesn't have our problem with it."

Xander wasn't entirely sure about that, as he had been able to take of the armor part of his costume earlier as well, but he figured that Buffy knew best in this case. Besides, if there was anything strange about Dawn's costume it surely would have shown itself after thirty times. Thirty times? That simply wasn't healthy. "Thirty times?"

"Oh yeah. This afternoon alone when the three of them were busy with their final preparations they each changed about a dozen times."

"Can I just say that is sick? The usual way to dress is to pick something from a closet, or the floor, put it on, and be happy until the evening when you throw it on the floor again. You don't change until you've got either some sport thing, are covered in demon goo, or when you have to go to some fancy party or something. Not," he was quick to add, "that I've got a lot of experience with the last thing, but I mean. Thirty times?"

"It's a girl thing Xander," Buffy explained.

"You don't do that! Do you?"

"Of course not. I'm experienced. More than half a dozen times is hardly ever necessary. Unless you're someone like Cordelia of course."

"What?"

"You don't think she's easily satisfied while getting dressed, do you?"

Girl things. Okay, this whole conversation was headed completely in the wrong direction. Especially now that it had turned to a decidedly Cordelia type of direction. He had noticed how she'd reacted to his name, and when he'd gone to pick up his costume this morning one of the items that came with it was a silvery cigar-box-type-thingie. What were those things called anyway? The fact that it clearly said from who he'd gotten it didn't make him feel any better.

He couldn't put the thought away now he'd been reminded of it again, but it really didn't make any sense, did it? What would some rich, dragon-breeding, woman want with an old cop? On the other hand, the thought of watching Cordelia changing her clothes a dozen or so times was not a bad image... "And on that note I think we really should change the subject to where it's supposed to be. Why can't we take of our costumes, and how are we being stopped from doing that?"

"Just a wild guess," Buffy answered without even the slightest hint of sarcasm in her voice, "but I'd say it has something to do with magic."

"Okay, okay. That was a bit of a stupid question, but we still don't know why."

"Because somebody wants us to keep wearing them?" Willow proposed.

That was pretty obvious, but what Xander really wanted to know was why. "Right, but why? Is something going to happen tonight? Because Giles promised us that nothing would because demons think it's tacky."

They thought about that for a moment, and it was Willow who came up with the answer that made the most sense. "Maybe it's not a demon?"

"A human? Yeah, but who? It's not Snyder, not even I would believe that, and the only other people who had anything to do with it were..." he trailed off as he saw the same look of realization dawn on the faces of his friends.

"I knew there was something wrong with them. The woman was simply far too normal to be a lawyer, and the guy was nervous all the time."

"Buffy? You've only seen them for like five minutes. When they handed you your costume."

"Hey! Slayer here! I can recognize badness within five minutes."

"Ehm," Xander started while raising his index finger slightly above his head, "is this a good time to point out that you actually didn't?"

Buffy's answer was short and to the point. "No."

"Okay. Anyway, what do we do about it?"

"Giles will have an answer. He's the Watcher guy."

"And if he doesn't? Or doesn't find it in time for whatever it is to happen?"

"He will," Buffy stated, "he will have an answer."

"But-"

Before Xander could even ask the question, Buffy interrupted him. "He will. Because if he doesn't I don't know what we can do."

Looking at his friend, Xander noticed the brief flash of fear that crossed her face. Which wasn't something that made him happy. Buffy was the confident one. She knew how to deal with stuff. Well, maybe not always deal with it, but she did know how to end a problem.

"Oh look. We're here already," Willow broke him from his thoughts of doom and gloom.

"Right, let's go find Giles."

Walking into Sunnydale Highschool had never been Xander's favorite thing, especially not after the troll had taken over, but at least normally he wasn't suffering from a costume that refused to go off. Which was more than a little strange. After all, if he hadn't heard about it from Buffy he probably wouldn't even have tried to take it off. So, why would anyone have done this?

The answer followed the question immediately: to be absolutely certain he would be wearing it. But it still didn't make any sense to him. Why would anyone want to ensure that they would keep on wearing their costumes? Was there something wrong with them? Probably, although he couldn't imagine what. What could anyone possibly do about a bunch of costumes? "Man-eating clothes," he realized.

"What?" Buffy asked him.

"That's what this has to be right? We can't change out of these clothes because they've been magicked up to turn into man-eating clothes. It's probably all an elaborate plan to kill you. The only reason we are here as well is because they--whoever they are--either didn't know who you are, or because they wanted no witnesses. It all makes sense."

"But this is such a sweet witches costume. I mean, it even has a nice pointy hat and everything. I can't believe it would want to eat me. I-I don't even taste good. Right?"

"I doubt very much that we'll be facing the man-eating clothes of 1997, Wills. Besides even if we were I wouldn't let some hairdresser's costume kill me."

"Yeah well, you're a hairdresser. A well-armed hairdresser perhaps, but a hairdresser nonetheless. I on the other hand am a well-trained member of the city Watch."

"Really? What happened to the former-alcoholic, low-life, no-good loser he was before?" Buffy asked him.

Oh, come on. He'd said that before he knew about the man-eating clothes. "You can't use that against me. You were all bad-costume as well at that time."

"Believe me, I'm still all bad-costume. I'm not very fond of clothes that I can't take off."

"Right, but why can't they be man-eating clothes? Is there anything that says it isn't possible?"

"Xander, there is no reason to panic. Whatever is gonna happen will probably still take a while."

"Right," he realized, calming down a bit. "And hey! I'm not panicking. That was just very manly concern for the ladies around me."

"Did I say different?" Buffy smiled at him. The smile that always made him forgive anything she'd done. The smile that he'd seen on Dawn's face once or twice as well. In both cases it was usually when they knew they'd done something bad, but didn't feel any remorse about it. Well, if she thought that would work then-.

Okay. It worked. He simply couldn't stay angry at Buffy. Especially when she looked like that. Why did all the girls around him have some sort of expression that he couldn't resist? It really wasn't fair. "Giles is probably in the library."

Walking off in the direction of said library, Xander refused to look behind him. He knew--KNEW--that Buffy was smiling at Willow. One of those victory smile things she did that looked so good on her. Right, enough fantasizing. It was time to focus on the realities. It was time... time to bring in the G-man.

Heh, that sounded pretty cool. He really had to remember to use that at a time when he wasn't in any danger of being eaten by his costume.

Having reached the library, he swung the door open only to be faced with the sight of both Giles and Jenny. Who were sitting very close together. Way too close in his opinion, but at least they weren't doing anything that would scar him for life. He'd had enough of that kind of thing for today with how Dawn kept on rattling abouts- Ugh. "We have a problem."

The two adults turned around to face him, by which time Buffy and Willow had reached the door as well. "A big problem Giles, and we really need you to solve it."

"Yeah, it's way big. I-I mean big at like, a very big scale," Willow added to that.

"Of course, and is any of you going to tell me what exactly the problem is?" Giles asked from beneath his wizard's hat. Hmm. That didn't even look all that bad. Sure, Giles had to wear a dress, but the color combination of those robes wasn't something that he couldn't find in his closet either. And the hat was pretty cool.

Miss Calendar on the other hand looked quite a bit like Willow, only well... he had to admit that she looked very hot in it. No Xander! No fantasizing about teachers either. "Have you tried taking of your costumes yet?"

"No, there hasn't exactly been any need to do so. Why?"

"Try it, you'll see."

With a shrug Giles took of his hat, and watched Miss Calendar do the same. "Very well, and what is the problem with it?"

"Not the hats!" Buffy said exasperated. "The rest of the costume."

"Excuse me?"

"You know, the robes and such? And the dress for Miss Calendar."

"Buffy! I'm shocked."

"What? Oh! I don't want to see you naked! Ugh, just the thought, that'd be like walking in on my parents. No, it's that the costumes won't come off. Try it."

"Very well," Giles agreed while walking over to his office. "If you don't mind though, I will try inside here."

"You can try here Miss Calendar, we won't mind," Xander couldn't resist saying.

A comment that wasn't very well-received by his friends. "Xander!"

"What? I mean it's true, isn't it? You're both girls, you've seen it all. And I think I could suffer through it."

Willow snorted at that. Very unladylike that kind of behavior, and he debated saying something about it. Not that he could as he'd remained silent when Buffy and Dawn did it, but still. "You just want to see her naked."

"That is so untrue. I wouldn't mind if she's wearing some sexy lingerie either."

Oh. Xander had a feeling that once again he'd said something that should have remained within the confines of his own mind. Of course, it was the truth and it would be an excellent way to prepare himself for being eaten by his costume. Still, staying quiet would have been better. Making up for it would be a good idea by now though. "Ehm, I meant that in the nicest, non-sexist, way possible of course."

"Yeah right," Buffy said while rolling her eyes at his antics.

"It's alright Xander," Miss Calendar smiled, "but if you don't mind I think we'll wait for Rupert."

"Right. Let's wait for G-man to finish. Let's focus on anything but what I might have possibly said. You look really good in that costume though, I mean..."

Luckily Xander was saved from embarrassing himself even more as Giles came from his office with a baffled look on his face. "I'm afraid that I am indeed suffering the same problem. Jenny, would you mind checking?"

"I'll be right back," she answered while making her way to the office, from where she returned within a minute. "No, it won't come off for me either."

"Giles? Any ideas? Because all we've come up so far is Xander's attack of the killer-costumes."

"I must say that I'm surprised by this turn of events. It's strange how the costume feels loose and free, until you actually try to remove it. It's hard to even describe."

"We already knew that part Giles. What we need to know is how to get them off. Before something happens."

"Yes, I understand that Buffy," Giles sighed. "However, I do not know of anything that could have this effect. We'll have to research."

Oh great. Could this night get any better? If that was how it was supposed to be however, Xander Harris would do his best to prevent his clothes from eating him. "So, research huh? Do we know where to start?"

"I think," Giles said as he looked through the bookcases, "that this one might be a good start."

The book he took out was big. Far too big for anyone to actually have to work through in a single night while his life was in danger. "The whole book?" Xander tried to have confirmed, hoping that Giles only meant the introduction.

"Just look through the index first, I'll get the other books." Other books? Why didn't he like the sound of that?

Still, with a sigh he took the book and started going through it. He could do this. In the time since Buffy had arrived he'd learned how to go through a book like this. Not that he liked it, but he could find information pretty quick these days. Okay, it was in English. Always a good start. Even if it wasn't in a modern form of English, it still meant he could do more than look at the pictures. Huh, what would pictures of man-eating clothes look like?

Xander was so immersed in trying to find a solution for their problem that he'd barely noticed that the others had received their own books to check. However, when suddenly the most annoying voice he knew came from the entrance to the library he had no choice but to pay attention to it. "I knew you slackers would try to get out from under this."

"Principal Snyder," Giles started, "we were just-"

"Save your excuses for someone interested in them. You were ordered to be in the auditorium by seven. It's now half past. Any of you who aren't there within five minutes will be expelled. Except for the two of you," the troll said while pointing at Giles and miss Calendar, "you will be fired."

"But-"

"No buts, Summers. You've got four-and-a-half minutes left. I'm looking forward to signing away your future." Before anyone could say anything else, Snyder turned around and walked out of the door.

This wasn't good, Xander thought. "I'm all for not getting expelled and stuff, but is that more important than not being eaten by our costumes?"

"We won't be eaten by our costumes Xander," Buffy sighed. Not that she'd given him any proof that wasn't the case.

"I do not believe we will be able to find a solution right now anyway. And in case the spell affects the other students and teachers as well, it might be a good thing if we were present when whatever happens, happens," Giles grudgingly said, obviously not happy that his books seemed to have failed him this time.

"Yeah, I haven't found anything either," Buffy said.

Xander had to admit his search was without success as well, and even Willow had to concede defeat, although she said she had found a reference to the costume that Giles was wearing. "It was mentioned in regards to Shakespeare. The author wasn't very clear about it, but it seems to have something to do with 'A Midsummer-night's Dream'. But there were several more people wearing something like that, and a Spanish lady as well."

"I doubt that has anything to do with us. I remember hearing about that myself," Giles countered. "Apparently it was seen as an addition to the very first performance, but was taken out for the following ones. Now, I believe we should hurry before Snyder decides to make true on his threat."

Right. Xander still wasn't sure about the decision, but he also realized that there wasn't much choice in the matter. Well, there was choice. It was just that he knew that Giles was right. Without them, or more precisely Buffy, there the rest of the school wouldn't know how to deal with whatever was going to happen.

Running through the halls, they arrived at the same time as Snyder did and the disappointment on the troll's face almost made Xander forget about the disgust he felt when Snyder shook his watch to make sure it hadn't accidentally stopped working. Deciding not to make matters worse, he stepped through the door only to be faced with the ever pleasant attitude of Cordelia.

"Well, I can understand why you weren't impressed that my costume looked bad," Cordelia spoke up before they could even greet her. A Cordelia who was conspicuously without any Cordettes. "Pink really doesn't suit you Buffy."

Xander was preparing a suitable barb in order to defend his friend when he took a good look at Cordy's costume and realized it didn't look anywhere near as bad as she had told them it did. "I thought your costume looked bad?"

"It did when I took a look at it, but when I went to pick it up it had been cleaned. You can barely see that the white at the bottom wasn't meant to be there. I must admit they did a good job on it."

"They cleaned it?" Willow asked incredulously.

"Of course, it's almost as if they'd heard my complaints. Although they might just not have gotten around to it before." Having had her say, the girl then turned around and rejoined her sheep.

"Well, at least they don't look good either," Buffy mumbled as she glared at the laughing Cordettes, a sentiment Xander had to agree with. Why were they laughing anyway? Didn't they see what their costumes looked like? At least Cordelia's had appeared to look pretty good, but Aura looked like she was walking around in rags!

"I think it would be best if we spread out," Giles interrupted his musings. "That way we'll be able to deal with whatever is going to happen better. Jenny, if you'd stay here to cover the exit, Xander can take the left side of the room and Willow the right. I will go through the center while Buffy walks around the room. If you find anything let either myself or Buffy know about it."

Which was the reason why the two of them were where they could reach everybody quickly, especially Willow and him. Oh well, there was nothing wrong with that--except for the part where his costume might starting eating him--and Xander set out to do his part in keeping everyone safe.

x.x.x

They had been gathering candy for nearly an hour now, and so far Jane was more than satisfied by the reactions to her costume. Which made sense of course as she looked good in it. Now the time had come to ask some questions though.

"So, Dawnie."

"Dawn," her friend replied as expected.

"Right, what you said, what's the deal with the whole spilling your sister's diary contents to her friends? I mean, did you see the looks on their faces? That Xander guy looked almost ready to puke when you were describing how Buffy mentioned her boyfriend."

"Yeah, it was fun, wasn't it?"

"Fun?" Sara chimed in. "What was fun about that?"

"Their reaction? Basically it was just getting back at Buffy."

"For what? I thought the two of you were about even again?"

Dawn shrugged at that. "True, but this time around I wanted to have the head start."

"So you went around saying all that stuff? Wasn't that a bit harsh? You're always complaining when you think Buffy has read your diary, but you never really mentioned you look in hers as well."

"I don't," Dawn admitted.

Okay, that didn't make any sense. "What?"

"I think there's all sorts of stuff in it that she doesn't want me to know. Something to do with why she leaves so often during the night."

Sara didn't understand this anymore than she did, but was quicker to actually ask the question. "Whadda ya mean? Leaves during the night?"

Popping a sweet in her mouth, Dawn finished it before answering. "Well, sometimes when I'm awake at night I notice that Buffy isn't in her room."

"Okay, now I don't have any siblings," Jane started her question, "but how would you know if she's in her room or not? Isn't the door usually closed?"

"Well yeah, but why should she be able to sleep when I can't? Except she's not always there. I think she's leading some kind of secret life or something. Maybe she's going to raves or something. She could be taking a bus-"

"Buses don't go at that time," Jane decided to point out.

"Or she's picked up by one of her fellow ravers. In any case, I think she goes to LA then, and spends the night partying. The parties must be pretty rough at times as she sometimes has bruises and stuff."

Sure, except for one thing. "Your sister really doesn't seem like the type to go to parties like that you know."

"Well duh, that's why I mentioned it was a secret life. If it was obvious, everybody would know."

Oh. Yeah. Okay. Not that she agreed with the logic or anything, but she could understand it. Sorta. "So, if you never actually read your sister's diary, how come you were so insulted by what her friend said? Acting all huffy and stuff?"

"I wanted to give Buffy a false feeling of power. She'll try to use it the next time we have an argument, and then I can point out the error of her way. Besides, I was being nice to her tonight as she already has so many problems."

Okay, the first reason sounded like Dawn, but the second? Looking at Sara she noticed the same surprised expression she was probably wearing herself, so she turned to Dawn. Dawn who seemed to have trouble keeping her face straight, and then blew even that when she grinned. "Gotcha."

"You-" Jane started to say, but never finished.

….…

Where was she? Quickly taking in the sights, Jane understood that she was no longer in Ankh-Morpork. Of course, her teachers would have chided her for not immediately noticing that from the smell alone.

The fact that she wasn't in Ankh-Morpork had several consequences. The first was that she didn't really have to worry about the Watch disapproving of her weapon choice. Secondly it meant that she was on a mission. Although she did wonder why exactly she was holding a bag with what appeared to be candy.

Dropping the bag, she checked herself for any weapons she might be carrying. She was rather unarmed: carrying only one of the slimmed down crossbows that had been explicitly forbidden by Vimes. Still, she had no doubt that she'd carefully chosen what weapons to bring on this mission.

Taking hold of the weapon Jane felt a wave of recognition coming over her as she remembered exactly who her target was. It was a bit public perhaps, but she was in a hurry. Not seeing the need to wait any longer, she turned around until she was aiming at the brunette girl and pulled the trigger.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

As the crossbow bolt flew through the air, the Assassin known as Jane suddenly had a feeling that something had gone terribly wrong. Perhaps not yet gone wrong in the 'assigned to target Commander Vimes' way, but the situation was far from desirable. A fact that was underscored by the way her target was suddenly standing next to her, instead of where the bolt was going.

Nobody could move that fast. The Assassin's Guild had a long list of people in the city who they might at one time be hired to inhume. At the moment there were only two people on that list for whom no job would be accepted, but there were quite a few who were classified as high risk targets. Only the most foolhardy would try to go for one of those.

Featuring most prominently on that list were the priests. While killing a priest wasn't all that difficult in itself, there might be that someone on Core Celesti who might take offense that they'd killed one of his main worshipers. The faculty of Unseen University was on that list as well, not necessarily because of any retaliation that might occur, but simply because it was hard to reach them alive. While the current faculty seemed to have stabilized, the only way to gain promotion for a wizard was still the death of his predecessor. Which was the very reason no assassin could ever reach them without the aid of magic.

The child before her however was someone else. Neither a wizard, nor a witch. Despite that she was on the list as well. The age might not be right, but during her training she had been taught that many facts could and would be changed by either wizards or gods. "Miss Sto-Helit?"

"Yes."

So, she had been right. She had just tried to inhume the granddaughter of Death. That was of course a fairly stupid move, and Jane wondered why she'd accepted this mission. It wasn't as if she needed either the fee or the honor this badly. In fact, she couldn't even think of why anyone would try to kill this woman. Whatever your religion, there was at least one person you'd meet when you died.

"Could you explain to me why you look so young, and why I seem to have accepted a foolhardy mission?" Jane calmly asked.

"We aren't on the Discworld, merely possessing the bodies of children. Your actions were most likely inspired by those who have caused you to wear that costume."

"Would you like to hire me to take them out? As we aren't in Ankh-Morpork I can negotiate the fee for myself, and I do not believe this would be a very expensive job for you." Always try to turn any situation into your favor.

"That will not be necessary. I- Stop right there!" Miss Sto-Helit suddenly commanded the young thief who had begun to sneak away.

It was an intelligent thief, something Jane had never believed was very common. After all, the really intelligent people usually ended up in the Assassin's Guild. Her guild had the longest and finest tradition, ranging back to long before Vetinari became the Patrician.

"Yes?" the thief asked.

"We'll stay together," Miss Sto-Helit commanded.

"And why would I want to do that?"

Now that was actually a good question. After all, there was quite a difference between not trying to kill Suzan Sto-Helit, and actually following her orders. If the woman wanted to give orders she should go back to Sto-Helit where everybody would be more than happy to do as she said.

"Because something has gone wrong, Sara. Neither of you were supposed to be dressed like people from the Discworld. My original intention had been to lay low tonight, and only help the children who were in danger from the spell. The fact that you changed as well seems to indicate that more might have gone wrong. We'll need to find someone who can deal with that."

"And who would that be?" Jane asked carefully. How had Miss Sto-Helit know the thief's name? In Ankh-Morpork it would have been pretty clear to whom you could go if things went this wrong. Well, in the last couple of years at least.

"Captain Ironfoundersson."

Now why did she have a feeling that she should have expected that? "Is that really necessary?" Sara asked. Probably recalling that this was the same captain who'd had the temerity of arresting her guild leader for being a thief. On the very day he'd joined the Watch.

"Unless you'd prefer Commander Vimes?" Looking at Sara, Jane realized that the thief had the same opinion on that.

"No, the captain will do."

"Excellent. He is in that direction," Miss Sto-Helit said as she started walking in that same direction.

"How do you know?"

"That's where the boy he is possessing was going."

"Do you have anything to do with this possession thing?"

"Nothing directly, I've just changed some things to ensure a better ending. The actual magic was handled by a local, while the faculty of Unseen University augmented it."

Okay. Which meant that she should probably go after that local. Except... she wasn't hired to do so. "Are you sure that you don't want to hire me to take care of the local?"

"Yes." Too bad. Silently Jane cursed the fact that she wasn't allowed to kill anyone for reasons other than a contract.

The three of them continued walking, while Miss Sto-Helit occasionally stopped in order to calm some children, or even make them tag along. Of course, Jane had a certain fondness for children herself, some of the younger students at the guild could be very cute, but did they have to stop to help every one of them?

They had walked--if one could call it that--for maybe fifteen minutes, when a voice from an alley could suddenly be heard. "It seems that Spike was right: easy pickings tonight."

While Jane didn't exactly know what was going on, it was obvious to her that something wasn't right with that situation. The threat didn't immediately concern them, but she knew that was something that could change any moment. Apparently miss Sto-Helit had the same thought as she stopped and looked in the alley. "Vampires."

Vampires? That was bad, they were dangerous targets that could never really be killed permanently. She had heard many stories about how even after having been staked, beheaded, burned, and doused in holy water, a vampire had still come back. "That's not good."

"They're different here, not as resistant and can be killed by a simple staking."

Oh, well that made it a lot easier. That meant they only had some extra speed and strength. If you knew that was the case, it was easy to take advantage of the vampires overconfidence.

"I assume you haven't heard of rule one?" a new voice suddenly came from the alley. The voice itself wasn't in any way impressive, but the sentence was one that Jane knew very well. Looking at her companions, she noticed that they recognized it as well. Sara paled, which made sense, but miss Sto-Helit broke out in smile.

"What do you mean, rule one?" one of the vampires asked. Ah, so they were stupid vampires. Well, she wasn't going to feel sorry about them.

"Miss?" one of the children asked miss Sto-Helit.

"Yes dear?"

"They are bad people, shouldn't we help the man?"

Miss Sto-Helit smiled at that. "That isn't necessary. It's the bad people who would need the help."

"Why? I mean, he's unarmed and they are with many. He's only an old man with a broom," one of the more outgoing children dared. How come they hadn't been noticed anyway? Didn't it make sense for the vampires to know that they had company now?

"He's a history monk, and he will teach them rule one."

"What's a history monk?"

"The history monks make sure that all time is in its right place. In fact, Time married the first one, and their son later became the new Time."

"Really?" one of the smaller children said with wide eyes.

"Yes, really. Now, this is a good lesson for you to learn as well. It is one of the most important lessons you might ever learn."

"Which is?" Sara demanded, obviously fed up with the little children.

"Rule one. Everybody should know rule one; you know it, don't you?"

"Of course I do. It's one of the first things we learn."

"Exactly. Okay children, pay attention to the alley."

All of them turned to face the alley, and waited for something to happen. Of course, both Jane and Sara had a feeling they knew what was going to happen. They had never actually seen one of the monks in action, but other thieves and Assassins had. Stories like those about the monks traveled fast in their circles. For the thieves it probably meant that they shouldn't try to do anything, but for the Assassins it merely meant that they should ensure that the first strike was the only one needed. Because it was the only one they had.

So, she watched. Watched the monk stand there surrounded by six vampires. Not moving. She continued watching. Watching the monk stand all by himself in the alley. Surrounded only by several piles of dust. She hadn't seen anything happen. One moment there had been vampires, and the next they had turned into piles of dust.

"And that, children," miss Sto-Helit explained, "is why Rule one says that you should never attack an old man with a broom."

"Where did the bad people go?" a little girl asked.

"He killed them! He's like superman!" a boy exclaimed.

"No, he just scared them off."

"Tied them up and delivered them to the police, like Batman."

"Hello Suzan," the monk suddenly said while turning to them. "I thought I recognized your presence, but could you please let me see you?"

Nothing seemed to happen as far as Jane could tell, but suddenly the monk was able to look miss Sto-Helit in the eyes. "Of course Lu Tze. How are you?"

"As always, I am busy. The garden needs tending, and the abbot is going through a difficult phase again. At least he has more control over his body now, but it remains difficult."

"Is there a reason why he uses reincarnation?"

"He prefers it that way. I cannot see the advantages of it, but the abbot has never really mastered the art of longevity."

"I am surprised to see you here."

"Surprise is one of the five elements."

"Maybe, but that doesn't tell me how you came here."

"I woke up, and was here. One of the first things I noticed was one of the scriptures."

"Scriptures here? That doesn't make any sense." Jane interrupted.

"Is it not written: Do not walk on the grass?"

"Not that I know of," she had to admit. Not that it sounded like a scripture.

"Of course it is, just like it is written that a bird in the hand is better than ten in the sky."

"Right," Jane answered. The guy seemed nice enough, if you didn't count the whole killing without moving thing, but was obviously a bit out of it.

"Lu Tze. You have been brought here to this world through the use of magic." Miss Sto-Helit quickly explained the situation as they knew it, and it wasn't long before the monk agreed to come with them. Which was good. They could always use someone like that. As long as he remained on their side.

"Where will we go?" the monk asked.

"There is a place called the Bronze where we should be able to find a member of the Ankh-Morpork Watch."

"That is good to hear. Who is it?"

"Captain Ironfoundersson."

"A decent and kind man that. I knew some of his ancestors."

"You might not want to mention that."

"Of course, for is it not written-"

As the monk once again came with one of his ridiculous sayings, Jane turned her attention elsewhere. She really didn't much care for his speeches. That much she knew after only a few minutes. The way miss Sto-Helit treated him, made him seem like he was pretty well-known, but there was such a thing as too much information. Besides, before today she had never even known his type were called history monks. She always thought they only went around the street banging on drums and shouting. Well, that and teaching people about rule number one.

x.x.x

Pandemonium broke out all around him, but Samuel Vimes, Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, calmly waited until he had more information. One of the things he had learned over the years was that it is best not to act during the initial confusion. Unless it was the confusion of the men he was hunting of course. When the people panicked though, it was best to take a step back, stand against the wall and enjoy yourself.

"Command'r," was said beside him, and turning around he took a look at the person who'd said it. Despite the fact that the young man, boy, didn't look anything like the Nobby Nobbs he knew, Vimes knew with certainty that this was in fact his very own corporal.

"Nobby."

"Whadda ya reckon is going on here, sir? It doesn't look like anything I've ever seen."

"It was a party Nobby."

The strangely human looking Nobby--who would have thought that Nobby could walk around somewhere without anyone questioning the fact that he was human?--looked a bit confused by that. "That doesn't make much sense, sir. There're quite a few nobs here, but that woman is a hairdresser that me mom went to once. And there's wizards as well."

"I know. They are the reason we're all here."

That got through to Nobby, and he opened his eyes wide as he stared at Vimes. "You ain't going spare, are you? 'cause I'm pretty sure that her ladyship won't like that."

"Spare, Nobby?"

"Ah, you know sir. Not that we, you know me and the men, really expect you to do that, especially since you married her ladyship, but there have been times that maybe you went a little overboard, and well..." The longer the sentence got, the softer Nobby spoke, and by the end Vimes had to do actually do his best to catch what the man was saying. Not that he really minded the words, as he knew the men didn't really think of him like that--or so he hoped--and it wasn't a bad reputation to have on the streets.

"Have you seen Fred or Angua, Nobby?"

Relieved that there was no more mention of his gaffe, Nobby immediately spoke up. "Yes sir, I've seen Fred, but he was on the other side of the room, and I thought it would be best if I stayed out of these people's way."

How utterly surprising. Nobby's behavior was always predictable, his survival first, any money he could get his grubby hands on second, and the welfare of others a distant third. No, Vimes shook his head, that wasn't fair. It was very easy to think badly of Nobby, but he did stick up for his friends. And Fred was probably Nobby's best friend in the Watch. Did Nobby actually have friends outside of the Watch? No, thinking about that led to a very wrong place. The line-dancing was more than enough information about Nobby's personal life already.

"Let's find him then, shall we?" Shuffling along along the wall, Vimes kept his eye out not only for the missing sergeants, but for someone even more important to him as well.

In other circumstances it would have been easy to find Sybil. She had quite an imposing presence after all, but this time around he had no idea what she looked like. When Suzan Sto-Helit had explained what would happen, she hadn't been able to tell him what his wife would look like in this other strange world.

Of course, she would still be the same person, but when everybody was running around like this it was hard to judge by anything but appearance. She could handle herself though. Sybil had been running around with the most dangerous beings that Ankh-Morpork had ever spawned--and her dragons as well--long before they had met, so she should be able to handle herself. Ha! Anyone who'd try to hurt her would have a big problem.

His heart swelled with pride as he thought about his wife. Nobody messed with her, and he couldn't imagine why people constantly underestimated her. Was it because of her unassuming nature? That was the mistake he'd made at first as well, but once he'd actually gotten to know her a bit better that had quickly changed. After all, the number of people who actually dared to call the Patrician by his first name could be counted on a single hand. And you'd have quite a few fingers left over.

"Sir," Nobby interrupted his musings, "there's Fred."

Ah, indeed there he was. Doing the exact same thing the two of them had been doing earlier. Standing by the side and waiting for everybody to calm down. It was really a shame that Carrot wasn't with them. He would have had the crowd calmed down almost before the panic had set in, and they could have gone about doing what needed to be done.

"Mister Vimes, Nobby. What's going on? How did I get here?" Fred asked slightly panicked, although trying to give the impression that he was calm.

"Later Fred. It'll be easier to explain when- Ah. Sergeant," Vimes said as he spotted the remaining member of the Watch walking towards them. Unlike everybody else, Angua didn't have any problems walking through the crowd. Probably because on some instinctual level the werewolf was recognized for what she was. His attention was quickly drawn to the girl who was with her though, a girl who bore a remarkable resemblance to the woman he loved. "Sybil."

"Hello Sam, isn't this exciting? A completely new world, I wonder if it's suitable for my dragons."

"At the moment I rather doubt it," Vimes answered before looking again at the crowd where the usual groups were starting to form.

"Sir?" Angua asked. "What is going on? Why am I not in my own body?"

"Because we're no longer on the Disc. We are on what the wizards called Roundworld."

"Roundworld, sir?" Nobby asked.

Knowing what was to come, Vimes nodded. "Yes Nobby, this world is round."

Immediately both Fred and Nobby grabbed the first solid thing they could get their hands on. "We'll fall off!"

"We won't fall off," Sybil tried to calm the two watchmen, but Vimes already knew that was unlikely to work. The only way for Fred and Nobby to come to terms with a ridiculous idea like a round world was to throw them in the deep end. They'd come around.

"Sir? How do you know all this? And what does that have to do with us being in different bodies?" Angua wanted to know.

"I was approached by Suzan Sto-Helit. Do you know who she is?"

"I've talked to her a couple of times yes."

Not surprising of course, two non-human nobles like that. "Good. She told me and Sybil about how this world was going to be a danger to the Discworld, and that it would take years to make things work the way they should. The wizards came up with a solution to the problem, but she didn't think they'd manage it on their own."

"But how did this work?"

"They only needed some of your clothes. Using magic they then made us posses the people here."

The watchmen--even the ones holding on for their lives--nodded at this brief explanation. Before anymore questions could be asked though, there was a sudden blinding light and everybody's attention was drawn to the wizards who had now commandeered the small stage. "Welcome everybody," one of them started. And even though the man looked nothing like Ridcully, it was immediately obvious to Vimes that it was the Archchancellor who was in command of that body.

"We have brought you here in order to ensure the very survival of the Discworld. For this we need the help of all of you." What? Vimes wondered if he'd heard that right. It didn't sound like anything a wizard would say.

When Ridcully continued though, it was far more in character. "For most of you this means that you stay out of our way. We are in charge here, and will handle the immediate situation. For this we will split in two teams. We, the wizards, will go deal with the greatest immediate threat in this town. An upstart of a wizard who believes that he can become a denizen of the Dungeon Dimensions.

"However, there is another danger currently in the town. To counter this threat that was created by yet another wizard, we have brought several members of the Watch here. Sergeant Von Uberwald, your task will be to lead the force that will restore order during this night. For this you ca-"

It was at that moment that the wizard noticed that Vimes was standing there as well, and the shocked expression on Ridcully's face was everything he could have wished for. "What are you doing here?"

x.x.x

They had walked around this town for a while now, but they had finally reached their destination. At least, Jane hoped that this was their destination. It seemed to fit the profile though as the name of the place was the one that Sto-Helit had been asking around for. Looking at it from the outside, she doubted this place could be any fun. As far as names went, the Bronze didn't sound too bad, but the place didn't look anywhere near as interesting.

The first thing that immediately showed her this was the fact that the bouncers were human. Human! What kind of place could this be if they hadn't even hired a decent troll as a bouncer? The Broken Drum--or was it called the Mended Drum again?--always had a good bouncer. Sure, the current one wasn't up to Detritus's standards, but that one had defected to the Watch.

Hold on? Would he be here too? "Is Detritus here as well?"

"Unless things went even worse than I believe, the least human visitor is Corporal Nobbs."

"Nobbs? He's the one with the note from the Patrician, right? The one that confirms he's human?"

Sara spoke up at this. "That's him. He's also known for thinking that everything belongs to him, but doesn't have a membership at the guild."

"But you can't do anything because he's in the Watch," Jane confirmed.

"Right."

Bringing her attention back to the people who mere the biggest danger to her, Jane noticed that they were talking to one of the Bouncers. "What do you mean, we can't go in?"

"Sorry little girl, but you're too young for this party."

"So are most of the other people in there. YOU WILL LET US IN." The words reverberated through the street, and the bouncer's eyes glassed over for a moment. Now that was an impressive way of talking.

"Please, come in." Useful too.

Sto-Helit nodded at that, and told the rest of them what to do. That still wasn't something she was happy about, but if the woman could make her do anything she wanted, it was probably best to do it while she still had some control over her own actions. "Jane, you come with me. Lu Tze, Sara, you two watch the children. I'll be right back."

"I don't want you to go," one of the little kids started bawling, but behavior was quickly put to an end when Sto-Helit glared at the child.

"No crying."

"But what if the monsters come back?"

Yeah, the monsters. The way Sto-Helit had handled that little monster was something that she'd never forget. Whoever thought of using a poker for that? Even though at its core the monster had been a little child it hadn't wanted to leave no matter how it had been threatened. Until Sto-Helit had come with that poker. And where had that poker come from anyway?

"The monsters won't come back, and even if they do," she forestalled the obvious follow-up question, "I'm sure Lu Tze, and Sara can handle them."

"What? The weird monk, and the girl?" one of their newest recruits asked. "They wouldn't stand a chance!"

Ah. One of those people. Always trying to make people panic. "Trust me, kiddo," Jane said. "They can handle anything you might encounter here."

With those words, she turned around and walked to the entrance of the Bronze, where she waited until Sto-Helit had joined her. "The captain is shorter in this world, so don't start looking for a tall man. He is most likely the only one wearing armor though, so no matter how bad it is in there, he'll be recognizable."

"Right," Jane nodded, and stepped inside.

Now, there were many things that she'd expected to find in there. Judging by the way people had acted out on the streets, and realizing that those in here would be even worse she'd expected anything from a massive fight that was still going on, to one that only had a couple of man standing. There would have been a number of wounded people, several dead, and even more who were panicking. Personally she'd also expected the bouncers to have already been aware of something like that, but that didn't quite mesh with the way they'd simply stood at the entrance.

And now she knew why. Of the many things that she'd expected the last thing that she could have possibly imagined was to see everybody inside sitting comfortably on the ground. Sitting on the ground and participating in a sing-along. It was such a shock that she stopped moving, and looked at the scene with a sinking feeling in her stomach. There were Assassins among the group, as well as thieves and other lowlifes.

"Ah, have you come to join us?" Jane was asked by a boy in shining armor.

"No captain," Sto-Helit interrupted before Jane had the chance to decline. "We're here because we have need of you."

"Miss Sto-Helit? Is that you? I thought we had agreed that I would wait here for mister Vimes. If I leave now, he'll never know where I've gone."

"Something has gone wrong. There are too many people wearing costumes from the Discworld."

The captain shrugged at that. "Yes, there were an amazing number among these who knew some of the music that is popular right now. Including even some of those from Buddie Holly."

"He no longer plays, captain," Sto-Helit sharply said. "That damned instrument of his has died. But while you have done an admirable job of preventing anything bad from happening here, outside is a completely different matter. If we don't stop the spell soon, some of the children out there might die."

"We can't have that," the captain acknowledged, and turned to the people surrounding them. "I am sorry to say that I must leave you now. Don't think that I do this because your singing voices might not be the best. I don't have a choice in the matter, and must therefore leave you. There is nothing at all though that stops you from going on without my guidance."

Going on? Turning to look at the captain, Jane couldn't keep the horror from her eyes. She'd heard stories of course, stories of how this man managed to keep the worst enemies at bay while he was present. But to actually see him do this... There were people here who'd kill their own mother for a nickel. A nickel? If she recognized some of the people here correctly, they'd do it for even less.

The captain wasn't bothered by that though, and turned back to them. "They're a fine bunch, and some of them have an excellent singing voice."

Sto-Helit made an uncommitted sound at that, and turned around to leave the building. The captain walked next to her, but when Jane wanted to do the same she was stopped by a hand on her arm. Turning around she noticed that it was a fellow Assassin who'd done so, and decided that there was no need for punishment in that case. "What?"

"That was Suzan Sto-Helit, was it not?"

"Yeah, so?" She might not want to fight this boy, man, whatever, but there was no need to be nice either.

"She is dangerous, and it is unlikely that she'll survive for long."

"Really?" Jane smiled as she all too clearly remembered how easily she'd been defeated by the woman. "And who are you to say that?"

"I am mister Te-ah-ti-meh." No matter how well trained she was, hearing that name made her blanch. A fact that wasn't unnoticed by the other Assassin. "Ah, you have heard of me."

"You're dead!" she hissed at him. "It was announced at the Guild that you'd died during a mission."

"So I was, but it seems that I no longer am. Does this bother you?"

"No! Why would it bother me?" After all, he was merely a psychopath who had actually been hired to kill the Hogfather. A task he'd almost succeeded in as well. What could possibly be her problem with someone like that?

Of course, the fact that sweat was dripping down her back was due to the high temperature in this room. Nothing else. Especially not that eerie smile of his. Nope. Nothing. Teatime was simply another Assassin. It didn't matter that he'd been feared by the head of the Guild, or that according to the rumors he'd even devised a way to kill Death himself. No. Nothing like that at all. Oh merciful gods, why did it have to be him?

"If you say that it doesn't bother you, I'll pretend to believe you," he smiled once again.

"That's good," she smiled back, and turned around.

"But child," he continued, "you might want to heed my words. Staying around Suzan Sto-Helit is not good for your health, and we wouldn't want to see anything happen to a pretty Assassin like yourself, now would we?"

Suppressing the shivers that wanted to run down her back, Jane quickly walked outside to the others, where she was received by an impatient Sto-Helit. "Where have you been?"

"I was talking to someone," Jane defended herself, not wanting to reveal what she'd just discovered.

"Who?"

"Nobody special," she quickly replied. If there was one person with whom she didn't want to talk about Teatime, it was Suzan Sto-Helit. The fact that she'd been placed on the do-not-touch-unless-absolutely-necessary list on the same day that Teatime's death had been announced had always been too much of a coincidence to her. Combined with Teatime's warning it was even more obvious that something had happened between the two.

No, she couldn't sit on the fence in this case. She had to make a choice, but what was the wisest choice in this matter? What little loyalty she might have felt for her fellow Assassin had been eroded by the fact that they weren't on the Discworld, but she didn't really have any loyalty to Sto-Helit either. Well, apparently the girl whose body she was inhabiting--a girl with the same name as her--was a good friend of the one Sto-Helit was possessing, so there was at least something of a connection there.

Wait, that was the solution! Jane didn't think it was likely that Teatime would be able to come up with something before the spell was broken, and after that the other Jane could warn her friend. Problem solved, but she might want to find a way to stay away from Sto-Helit until the spell was broken. What would happen when that happened anyway? She'd caught some snippets about merging, but she had no idea what that meant. And there was that other thing that had started nagging in the back of her mind: the one about how everybody but her and Sara had names that were different from the person they were inhabiting.

She would have to talk to Sara about that, but now it was time to pay attention to her surroundings again. Luckily, Sto-Helit had been distracted by the captain who was now talking to the bouncers. "I would appreciate it if you'd give this to Commander Vimes when he arrives."

"Sure buddy. No problem," the bouncer smiled as he accepted the note. He probably believed that it was some kind of game, and thought it was a nice diversion during the otherwise boring evening. For a moment Jane debated warning the man about the group still inside. No doubt they'd come out as soon as the captain was no longer near. She decided against it though. If the men couldn't handle something like that, they obviously were pretty much worthless as bouncers.

Of course, that went against what she'd thought earlier about the people inside, but she wasn't in the people saving business, was she?

x.x.x

Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully wasn't in a good mood. Everything had started out exactly as planned, and for several minutes he'd been happy. The plan that had been worked out in advance was perfect, or so he'd believed. He, the other magic users, and the Slayer who was currently known as Conina--daughter of Cohen the Barbarian--would take out the sorcerer Wilkins. Meanwhile there was a second group of people who would ensure that the civilian casualties from the spell would be as low as possible.

For that purpose he had allowed three members of the Watch to be brought. Nobbs, Colon, and Von Uberwald. The first two were nearly useless, but also very good at following orders without question. Exactly what he needed for this mission. Only the werewolf was a potential problem as she was far too clever to be entirely comfortable with. However, she too was very loyal to those who commanded her, and he had no doubt that she would have followed his orders to the letter.

Except that she now had someone else to follow. Someone who didn't care about wizards and their rules. "How could you have allowed that to happen?"

"I'm sorry sir, but I have no idea," Stibbons answered him.

That wasn't good enough for the Archchancellor. "How can you not know? Was this your plan?"

Stibbons was about to deny that, when the Archchancellor silenced him with an impatient wave of his hand. "No, I know it wasn't. But why would she do that? And why HIM?"

"Well, he is good at what he does," the Lecturer of Recent Runes spoke up.

"That's not the point," he snapped back.

"Then what is the point?"

Turning to the woman who'd spoken, the Archchancellor explained himself. "Esmerelda, there was need for a clear chain of command on this mission. Even the Dean can tell you that." A Dean who was once again making his ridiculous hut-hut-hut noises. Couldn't the man ever stop that?

"Do you expect us to follow your commands as well?"

Ah. Despite the fact that he'd once loved the woman--and still might for that matter--he had no doubt that giving the wrong answer here would cause him a world of pain. A round world at that. No time for jokes like that though. "Of course not. Everybody knows that witches are commanded only by themselves."

A sharp nod was the only reply he received for that, but while it could be his imagination he did think that the hard look on her face had softened a little. Which was good. "So, what kind of evil man are we going to destroy anyway?"

This time it was one of the girls who asked it, and turning to them it took him a moment to realize which one it was. Oh yes, the one who'd written that cookbook that had become so popular in Ankh-Morpork. "The mayor of this town, one Richard Wilkins, has plans to transform into a denizen of the Dungeon Dimensions. These plans will lead to quite a number of unfortunate circumstances including a Slayer that switches sides."

"Oh, of course. Now young man," the seeming child said to him, "I know what the Dungeon Dimensions are, but what is a Slayer?"

"A Slayer is something that the inhabitants of this world created several thousand of their years ago. It is basically a hero who ensures that all vampires and the like are kept in check."

"A hero then. How do these Slayers feel about witches?"

"As long as they don't try to do anyone harm, there is no problem."

The girl smiled at that. "Good. And anyone else on this world? It is a round world after all, and the only people who believe in that stuff on the Disc are those crazy worshipers of Om. And they like burning witches."

Why did this have to come up now? "Ponder, where do we go from here?"

"We turn right sir. It's only about five more minutes."

"You seem to be evading Gytha's question," Esmerelda noted. "Is there something we have to know about antiquated religions on this world?"

"Well," he hedged, "there hasn't been anything recent."

"And by recent you mean how long?"

"Ponder?" That's what you had underlings for, wasn't it? To take the fall.

The man looked a bit bewildered at that, but with a sigh of resignation answered anyway. "It's been a couple of centuries since the last time there was an active witch-hunt."

"Really?" Ouch, the frost could almost be tasted on that comment, but it also told him that he'd been right. "And exactly how active was that?"

"Ehm, it caused the death of a rather large number of people."

"And how many of them were actual witches?"

"Well, they were all proved guilty."

That wasn't good enough for any of the witches though. "How many?"

"Personally I don't think that any of them were real witches. If the witches here were even the least bit like you I doubt that anyone would have been able to do that to them."

"So, you're saying that for religious purposes, thousands of people died without cause?"

"Oh no," Ponder denied. "No, if you look at it like that you're looking at it wrong."

"Really? And why is that?"

"Well, if you count all the wars, the neglect of science, and other similar things, millions of people have died on this world for religious purposes. But they already did that in the original timeline when there were no gods present, so that isn't really a big change."

The young-looking witch--Ogg, that was her name--only made a disdainful sound at that. Obviously she had the same opinion of religion as he had. Except of course that the Archchancellor knew very well that his own brother was the head of a religion. Well, the human head at least.

"But despite that, these religions have done some good as well," Stibbons tried to convince them. It was a waste of time, and the Archchancellor considered telling Stibbons that. If he knew witches at all, they were born with a loathing for religion. Not so much a loathing for the gods, but for the institutions that surrounded it. Of course, it didn't help that some of those religions happened to contain sentences in their holy books that witches weren't allowed to live.

"Never mind that," Esmerelda snapped. "Where are these Slayers you told us about? While the heroes back home are usually a bunch of lowlifes, some of them are rather useful."

"Ah. Well, there are only two Slayers alive at the moment, and-"

"Two? Are you telling me that the safety of this world, a safety that is important for our own lives, is in the hand of only two people?"

"The number is not that important," the Dean answered. "I myself have been responsible for saving the world, which shows that it is the skill of the person that matters."

"Hah! Do you have any idea how often I've heard that? It ain't the size that matters. Hah! The only one who I'd believe that from is Casanunda."

"Granny?" the redheaded girl suddenly spoke up.

"Yes Agnes?"

"You do know that we're being followed, don'tcha?"

"'Course I do," was the expected answer, but the Archchancellor decided to have a look around for himself anyway. Not that it was really necessary anymore, as the three troll-like creatures stepped out of the shadows.

"Ah, I see. They look a bit big for costumed children, don't they?"

In response, the ugly, blue, rock-like, thing only opened its mouth and grinned. This was immediately followed by the sound of a sudden displacement of air as it needed to fill up a wizard-shaped hole. Looking at the source of the sound, the Archchancellor couldn't even let out a sigh of disappointment as all he saw was a pair of boots.

"He's a pretty quick fella, isn't he?" Mrs. Ogg commented.

No need to comment on that, it wasn't as if it was anything new after all. "Ponder?"

"Yes sir?"

"It appears our expert on this world is currently unable to answer any questions. So would you mind telling us what these are?"

"They are demons sir."

"Like denizens?"

"Ah yes, and no."

"Ponder," the Archchancellor growled. He really wasn't in the mood for this.

"Well, they're not true denizens of the Dungeon Dimensions sir. Only a diluted version. Which is why they look so normal. If you don't count the blue skin that is."

"So, they're pretty weak then?"

The denizens--no, demons--were starting to growl harder and harder, apparently not too happy that they didn't make the impression they'd been expecting. This growling however had an effect they hadn't counted on. The effect of finding out what happened when you combined the daughter of the Discworld's greatest hero with a Slayer.

Reflexes that were honed to the very limits of the human body suddenly no longer had to obey those limits. A body that had been turned into a fighting machine by some higher being suddenly had a level of skill that could never be obtained within the normal lifespan of a Slayer. It was pretty interesting to watch how that all interacted. As an experiment in combining two people who had been born only to fight, it could only be described as a success.

Conina had been quiet ever since the spell had become active. Only silently, and with an air of regret, agreeing to come with them in order to save the world. During their entire walk she had remained silent, but now it seems that whatever she had been thinking about had a positive effect after all. Positive for them at least.

The demons she was currently taking her frustration out on probably held a different opinion on that. Not that he could blame them for that. Ouch. The Archchancellor flinched as Conina drove a knife in the crotch of one of the demons. Apparently her father had never taught her to play fair. Admittedly it was hard to teach something you didn't know yourself, so that could probably be forgiven. And as she immediately decapitated the demon with her ax, it wasn't as if the demon suffered for long anyway.

Once Conina was done with the demons, and the corpses were kind enough to melt away, she turned to face them. "That was different."

"I have to admit that I'm quite impressed with your actions," the Archchancellor admitted.

"Not that. This body, it's even stronger than my own. The girl whose body this is, she's one of these Slayers, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is. In fact," Ponder started, "she is the senior Slayer."

"Wait a minute," Mrs. Ogg interrupted. "Are you tellin' me that the oldest Slayer is a wisp of a girl? An' that while the whole world depends on them?"

"Yes, it seems that the higher beings of this world believe that empowering young, good-looking, girls is the best way to protect the world from being conquered by the Dungeon Dimensions."

"You do realize that doesn't make any sense, do you?"

The Archchancellor shrugged at that. "Maybe not, but it's the way things are done on this world."

"It ain't right," Esmerelda replied. "Do they at least get any training before they're sent into battle?"

"If they are located before being Called, yes. If that doesn't happen they'll receive their training on the job, so to speak."

"And do they live long after they're Called?"

"Typically about a year."

As Esmerelda's eyes narrowed until she was peering at him through mere slits, the Archchancellor was uncomfortably reminded of why she was seen as the most powerful witch in the Ramtops, if not the entire Disc. "I do not approve of that."

"It's not very nice of course, but it's the way this world works."

"Then this world will need to change. You said that this man, this Wilkins, will be responsible for more cruelty against these Slayers?"

"Yes," he warily answered.

"What are we waitin' for then? I don't like to see children hurt."

"Right," the Archchancellor nodded, happy that her anger wasn't directed at him. "Ponder, I think I can see Rincewind in that tree over there. Would you mind retrieving him? I'm pretty sure that his boots are feeling lonely."

"He's pretty fast that young man," Mrs. Ogg noted. "I'd hardly seen him move."

"Yes, his ability to run away from danger is one of the two things he's best known for."

"Really," Mrs. Ogg wondered with a lecherous grin on her face, "what's the other thing? Is he that fast when it comes to a certain other matter as well?"

"Nanny!"


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Vimes had waited until after the wizards left before he told the other Watchmen what they were going to do. He would've loved to have pulled Ridcully's chain, but unfortunately he'd been told that time was pretty much of the essence.

So now they, the members of the Watch and Sybil, were proceeding along the streets to where he figured Carrot would be. It was a shame that he hadn't been with them when he woke up here, but he'd been warned of that possibility. And, in any case, it gave him the excuse to go outside and see the damage that was being done for himself. That Sybil came along was something he'd failed to prevent.

"I still can't see why you didn't want me to come Sam," his wife said while cleaning up the young boy they'd just saved from an attack by his peers. "This poor child would have kept on suffering, because I know that all of you brave Watchmen aren't very good at offering aid. You always pretend you don't feel anything, and expect others to do the same."

"I know that children need to be helped," Vimes tried to interrupt, even though he knew that was a waste of time.

"Of course you do, you always try to help little Sam if he's hurt, but you are not good at it. You, all of you," she included the others as well, "are very good at what you do and Ankh-Morpork should be grateful they have you, but I'm sure you're aware of your limitations."

Vimes decided to remain quiet: Sybil was far too stubborn in this regard, and besides he couldn't really deny her words. Their usual lack of skill in healing was after all the reason he had taken an Igor in the Watch. Therefore it was time to pay more attention to their surroundings. No doubt Sybil would insist that they take the child home, but he wasn't sure they could afford that time.

He was here for a reason after all, and it was a reason that would have convinced him to come even if his beloved city hadn't been in danger of being destroyed. While the wizards were going to take care of the mayor, Vimes had been asked by Suzan to take care of two other beings: two vampires in fact.

From what he'd been told, the vampires in this world weren't nearly as powerful as the one in his own, but they were far more numerous. The two most powerful vampires in this town--not counting the black-ribboner--were named Spike and Drusilla. His job was simply to kill them and prevent all the trouble they were going to cause in the future. In a way this meant he was once again meddling in the past, although at least he wouldn't need to talk to himself as well.

This Spike and Drusilla would have to be eliminated, but the danger in that was big enough that he wanted to have Carrot on his side as well. Actually, he wanted Detritus in front of him and firing his crossbow. One shot from that weapon and the warehouse the vampires lived in would be destroyed. But the troll wasn't here, and Carrot would be more than useful for this as well. Especially if he put himself into enough danger that Angua would feel compelled to take more direct action. The sergeant already hated vampires, but if a vampire dared to endanger the life of the man she loved they didn't stand a chance.

After all, the vampires might be weaker, but Angua was still Angua: a powerful werewolf from a high pedigree.

"Sir," Angua interrupted his musings, causing him to look at her.

"Yes?"

"We're being watched."

"Vampires?" Not that he really needed to ask; the expression of distaste on her face would have told him that.

Angua nodded, although with a wondering expression, and Vimes turned to face the direction she indicated. Now was a good a time as any to find out how powerful the bloodsuckers really were on this world. "You can come out now. There is no reason to stay there. Don't you want to try our blood? I hate it when I have to chase somebody."

Even he could hear flashes of the discussion between the vampires, and that showed something he hadn't expected. No matter how he hated vampires, he had always respected the wisdom that came with their age. Well, respected was probably a big word, but he knew that they'd lived a long time and had learned a lot of ways to stay out of trouble in that time. These vampires on the other hand were either far too young for such knowledge, or just plain stupid.

Of course, on a world where nobody believed you actually existed it might be easier to stay hidden, but to actually discuss whether a situation was a trap or not while the trap itself could hear you was ridiculous. If he recognized the different voices right, there were three vampires. Two of them wanted to attack while the other kept pointing out that easy food didn't usually carry swords and invited them over. So it had to be a trap. Besides, it had been the blonde who spotted them first, and wasn't the Slayer a blonde?

That argument seemed to halt the other two, and for a minute it was silent. Vimes was about to give up on this group when a voice rang out from the shadows. "The blonde, she isn't the Slayer is she?"

Slayer? Vimes recalled that Suzan had mentioned something about a Slayer, although she hadn't gone far beyond the fact that the Slayer was a professional vampire killer. Well, that and how she was a young child. Still, the wizards had taken a blonde along, but if she was the Slayer he couldn't understand how these vampires could possibly confuse Angua with her. They didn't even look alike! For one, the Slayer was short and wore pink. Still, Vimes made the effort to turn to Angua and ask her formally if she happened to be the Slayer.

"No," was the simple answer, and he turned back to the shadows containing the stupid vampires and told them the same thing.

"See? I told you there was nothing to worry about," one of the vampires started.

"They could be lying," the slightly smarter one answered. "And how did they even know what a Slayer is?"

"You want to wait for Spike? I don't know about you, but I think the one in the dress looks like she would taste incredibly good."

Hearing that, Vimes actually blinked in shock. There were many things the criminals in Ankh-Morpork might do in an attempt to stop him. This was demonstrated by how often the Assassins had been hired to kill him, but he had to admit that this was actually a first. He had never heard anybody, except for that dragon, suggest to do harm to Sybil. Nobody on the entire Disc was that stupid. And if they had, he had no doubt that he'd heard about it: whether from a snitch or through other means, he would have known about it.

It seemed that these vampires had no idea who he was though. Not that he actually thought about his notoriety much, but there was a reason why the Watchmen that had been trained in Ankh-Morpork these days were known as Sammies. There was undoubtedly also a reason for the choked sounds coming from Nobby and Fred, and the suddenly anxious look he got from Angua.

They underestimated him though. Undoubtedly they expected him to rush off in an attempt to take vengeance on these vampires who dared to threaten one of the two people he loved the most in this world. He managed to control himself though and remained where he was. The vampires would come to him: there was no need for him to run after them. Especially as he wouldn't be able to keep if they ran away.

Luckily it wasn't long before the vampires made their move and jumped out of the shadows. The sudden twang from three crossbows took care of two vampires--Fred and Nobby having both hit the same one--while Vimes himself swung his sword in an attempt to gut the remaining one. Despite the fact that the vampire knew about the sword, for some strange reason the creature hadn't expected him to actually use it. At least, that was the only reason Vimes could think of that might explain why the vampire hadn't dodged the move. Still, he had no intention of waiting for his opponent to recover from that and decapitated the sorry creature.

Like the other two, it immediately turned to dust. Something that Vimes doubted he would get used to. Because of the brief intro in vampires on Roundworld that he'd received from Suzan he knew that staking and decapitation were simple and effective ways to kill the vampires of this world permanently, but it still left him with a sense of missing something. Back home any vampire was able to come back from something like this with a single drop of blood, and it was hard to believe that wasn't the case here. Deciding to test this hypothesis he pricked his thumb, allowed a drop to fall on the vampire and stepped back with his sword ready to strike.

Nothing happened.

He waited an additional thirty seconds, dimly aware that Sybil was still comforting the child and that both Fred and Nobby were shuffling a bit on their feet. They had already been attacked once on this place, and as good coppers they understood that the metaphorical lightning actually did strike twice. Only Angua seemed to be paying attention to their surroundings, but Vimes knew that was more than enough. Nothing would be able to sneak past her.

After he finally believed that he'd waited long enough, Vimes had to admit that maybe, maybe, Suzan had been right about these vampires. They really didn't seem to be able to come back from a decapitation.

Stepping back, he turned around to find that by now they were all staring at him. "Well, he's dead."

"Yes dear," Sybil said with a fond smile. "Now, shall we take little Peter here to his parents?"

"I'm not little," the boy feebly protested, already halfway through realizing that there was no way he'd convince Sybil to think of him as anything but little.

And indeed, Sybil simply ignored it while waiting for his answer. "We've already lost a lot of time with the other children, and I really want to find Carrot. He'll worry if we don't." Briefly he wondered why he wasn't worried about Carrot's health before accepting it as a fact.

"But the poor boy," Sybil tried again.

"I'm not poor!"

"We'll take him with us to this Bronze. Once we're there we'll decide what to do with him."

The Watchmen accepted his decision without even a moment of hesitation, and after a brief hesitation so did Sybil. Probably happy that she had somebody to mother, now that she would never be able to see young Sam again. Sam. The thought of not being there while their son was growing up was a hard one. Very hard. Even if intellectually he knew that another version of him, the real one in fact, would be with the boy every day. That distraction was not something he could afford right now though, and Vimes turned to the boy. "You wouldn't happen to know the fastest way to the Bronze, would you?"

Amazingly the boy did, and it wasn't long before they'd arrived at the place. Unfortunately by the time they arrived, they were too late. The first thing they saw upon approaching the Bronze were the bodies of three children dressed like they belonged in Ankh-Morpork who all appeared to have died painfully. But that wasn't the last of it.

Outside the entrance were more bodies. Two grown men, who by the looks of them appeared to be bouncers, were lying there with their throats slit. Even as he rifled through their pockets to see if there was anything that might be able to give him a clue about what had happened, Vimes watched as Angua warily sniffed the air outside of the door. The expression of distaste on her face, immediately told him what to do. Or rather, what he shouldn't do if it was possible to avoid.

"Sybil?" he asked after he'd found and pocketed the note addressed to him in Carrot's careful handwriting.

"Yes Sam?" Sybil answered with only a barely detected quiver in her voice.

"Could you see to it that the children are cleaned up a bit? Nobby and Fred will be able to help you with that while Angua and I check the inside of the building."

Sybil nodded in relief. "Of course. I'll make sure that when their parents see them they'll look good again."

She obviously understood what he was doing, but thankfully didn't object to it. Of course, a useful task was something she needed and Vimes didn't worry too much about any clues that might be erased. They wouldn't tell the local cops anything about who'd done this anyway. With trepidation he then opened the door and stepped inside the building.

The entrance was dark, but still carefully followed Angua deeper into the darkness. While she would know something was coming long before it reached them, that knowledge didn't stop him from having his sword out and ready to fight any moment. Behind a corner he could suddenly see a dim light, and carefully he moved alongside Angua. Here he was able to see something again and if whoever killed those people outside was still here he would be needed.

Reaching the source of the light however, Vimes knew that there was nothing left here that could threaten him. The room itself looked very strange. A bar at one side, a couple of tables near it, but apart from a stage at the other end there was nothing else here. The closest thing he could compare it too was one of the buildings left after a concert by Buddy Holly had finished.

Except the floors of those buildings weren't usually covered in corpses.

Seven, no eight, children had died here. A look at their bodies told Vimes the thing he'd suspected about the children outside: this was done by a professional. Taking out Carrot's letter, he quickly scanned through it, and had it confirm his suspicions. Carrot, Suzan, and an unknown Assassin were planning to find out why so many of the affected people were wearing costumes from the Discworld.

x.x.x

"That is where the most powerful man in this town works?" The Dean said in a scandalized voice when they stood in front of City Hall. "He's a fellow wizard! He deserves something better than that, no matter what he's done."

"His plans further the destruction of the Discworld," the Archchancellor explained once again, not really understanding why the faculty kept complaining so much. Unlike him, and obviously mister Stibbons whose position nobody wanted to have, each and every one of them had reached their current position because they were willing to advance by any means.

"Even so," the Lecturer of Recent Runes said, "it is a disgrace that the man is forced to work in a simple place like this. If he had to work here for all those years it's no wonder he's become a bit batty. Everybody knows that wizards need a University to work in."

The Archchancellor pretended not to see the glances in the direction of the oblivious Rincewind who was currently held back from running away by Conina the Vampire Slayer. Not that he hadn't escaped her grasp twice already, once when she had to deal with some monsters that had come after them and once when he proved that he didn't need his clothes to run. When he'd been brought back that time it had been pretty interesting to watch the reaction of the witches. Whereas Esme had practically looked through the man, she had no use for cowards, the youngest witch had started blushing at the sight of Rincewind only holding the hat to cover his privates.

The cheering and asking for more that had come from the other witch was something he didn't even want to think about.

"Are we going to stand here yammering about the man's poor luck, or are we going to do what we came here for?" Esme spoke up before the Archchancellor had a chance to do so himself.

"I agree," Conina spoke up. "This man will be responsible for destroying a hero. Somebody just like the girl whose body I'm wearing. I won't allow that to go unpunished."

"Right," the Archchancellor said while turning towards the faculty. "Are you telling me that these women are braver than you?" Ignoring the quiet yes that came from Rincewind's mouth, he continued to shame them into coming. That kind of thing seemed to help with Esme, so he might as well try it himself. "You, members of the faculty of Unseen University, the greatest wizards of our time aren't telling me that you don't dare to go where women do, are you?"

Actually, now that he thought about it, there were quite a few places women would go where he himself didn't dare to go. That was irrelevant to this discussion however, and he simply continued to watch the faculty. Maybe he should tell them to compare this to that game where they ran around the forest while shooting paint spells at each other. They were never hesitant to hit each other during that. In fact, they didn't even care whose team they were on as long as they could hit another wizard.

There was no need to go that far though, as the Dean was the first to speak up. "I'm not afraid of anything! We'll storm the evil wizard's stronghold and destroy it as we will him! Hut, hut, hut."

Ignoring the fact that the words didn't make any sense at all, the Archchancellor was relieved to see that the other wizards nodded their heads in agreement and turned to face the building. "In that case, let's go! Let's teach this wannabe wizard what a real wizard is capable of!"

The Archchancellor started to lead his troops in an orderly fashion, but now that they had come to the actual battle everybody believed that they should be ordered by rank. Which wouldn't have been all that much of a problem if there had only been wizards as the faculty had more or less worked out a system of rank--not that any of them agreed with it--but the witches believed they should be on the front row as well. While they obviously held a lower rank.

As a consequence this meant that the troops walking behind the Archchancellor were a fluid mass of bodies. Each of them surreptitiously trying to advance to a position before any of the others. Which didn't bother the Archchancellor much, until they had the sheer gall to pass him as well at which point he decided that he should use his authority to restore some order in his army.

"Stop!"

Miraculously, the horde of wizards and witches actually stopped. Something the Archchancellor hadn't counted on, and which caused him to crash into the back of the wizard before him. Luckily he didn't hurt himself, and the Lecturer of Recent Runes seemed fine as well so all was well. "We will proceed in an orderly fashion. This is not some barbarian invasion. All of us are educated me- people, and we should be able to act like that."

"I ain't educated in no fancy school," Nanny interrupted with a smile.

Ignoring the aggravating witch, Ridcully continued. "We shall proceed to the building like we are the founders of this world. Which we are. It wouldn't do for the Roundworlders to see their god substitutes fighting." The Archchancellor was careful not to claim the title of god as doing so was a very unhealthy thing on the Discworld. There was usually at least one real god who would test your claim.

"Right," the Dean agreed. "I'll lead us in then. Having the most experience in these matters."

"You? I'm the Archchancellor and should therefore-"

"Is this going to take much longer?" Esme suddenly interrupted. "Because there are a couple of vampires trying to decide if they should eat us now or watch the scene play out first."

Turning around, the Archchancellor could see the vampires as they were watching them. Very annoying, but at the moment he opened his mouth to tell Conina to deal with them a blast of magic was fired that completely obliterated the three vampires.

"Dean!" he growled while turning back towards the trigger-happy fool. "I distinctly remember that we all agreed not to use magic until we faced the mayor because we don't know if he can sense us using it."

"But they were such good targets!" the Dean protested.

An excellent argument, and not one the Archchancellor could easily refute. Still, this wasn't the time for going against the plan. "Conina would have taken care of them for us. That is after all the reason we brought her along."

"And here I thought it was because of my sweet smile," Conina muttered just loud enough for the Archchancellor to hear. Which was undoubtedly her intention, so he pretended not to have heard her sarcastic comment.

That didn't prove difficult as the Dean practically shouted his next arguments. "This didn't take nearly as long as she would have needed! And if you hadn't gotten all angry about it we would have been inside already"

"The man works with denizens from the Dungeon Dimensions! How do you know he hasn't learned a way to shield himself from us? They might have taught him that and now that he knows we're coming he has the opportunity to prepare those spells." There that should do. Not giving the Dean anymore time to consider his actions, he turned towards the closed doors and blasted them open with a nearly imperceptible wave of his wand. "Thanks to the Dean, Wilkins knows that we're coming, so there is no more need for us to hide from him." Besides, it felt good to blow things up.

Stepping through the bit of the door that remained, the Archchancellor looked around in the big empty room. It was empty, and if he hadn't known for certain that the mayor would be here tonight he might have started doubting that. Well, maybe not doubting. A wizards ego was too big for doubt to even have a chance to enter his brain. He might have had less confidence in the knowledge though. Especially as it had been HEX who had informed them that the mayor would be here at this time.

"May I help you gentlemen?" a voice came from the shadows that led to yet another empty room.

Casting a light spell, the Archchancellor looked at the man who had spoken. A man who didn't fit the description of the mayor, but who nonetheless didn't bat an eye at the magic that was being used before his eyes. Considering that there was barely any magic on this world that meant this man was involved with mayor Wilkins.

"We need to find your boss," Esme spoke up before the Archchancellor had a chance to do so. Casting an angry look at her--he was the leader here--the Archchancellor then added his own words to hers. The words that HEX had claimed would get the best result. "Yes. Take us to your leader."

While the man appeared surprised, there was also a hint of a smile on his face after hearing the Archchancellor's words. "I'm afraid the mayor has given orders not to be disturbed tonight. Therefore I must ask you to leave this building. And if you'd be so kind as to repair the door that would be very much appreciated as well. Good night."

Nobody moved at his words. For once not even Rincewind ran away, even though it was obvious that it would soon become dangerous. The man was a wizard though, and no wizard--or witch for that matter--would allow himself to be dismissed. Wizards left on their own volition. When they decided to do so, and in the way that they decided. On the Discworld nobody would even dare to dismiss them.

Except maybe Vetinari, but that man wasn't anywhere near this world.

The solution was obvious, and it wasn't long before all the faculty members were pointing their wands in the direction of the man. A brief light show later, and the man was gone. Well, not so much gone as no longer a man.

Or any recognizable creature for that matter.

Or rather, the combination of parts wasn't recognizable.

Transforming a human into an animal was not something that a wizard did lightly. Especially as there was a rule concerning it. More of a guideline than a rule actually, but it was still written down somewhere. The Archchancellor himself had done it a couple of times, usually to get rid of somebody annoying him, but even he had never seen anything quite like this.

Too many transformations had been attempted and when the octarine light disappeared, there was nothing left but a couple of bunny-ears and one little stump of what looked like the arm of a teddy bear. Blinking twice, the Archchancellor took in the scene before giving a mental shrug. The man had tried to stop them so he was obviously on the wrong side. "Bursar, which way do we need to go?"

The Bursar--who was currently taking pills that made him act like he was a sane Bursar--had been given the task of memorizing the map of city hall. After all, while it might not be close to the University--how could it without a decent library--the building was still of an impressive size, and as the wizards had no intention of spend more time here than necessary that meant they should know the layout.

"This way Archchancellor," the Bursar said while walking past the remains.

Following the Bursar, it didn't take them long to reach the office where the Mayor could be found. Not bothering to knock the Archchancellor once again pointed his wand at a closed door and fired a spell to destroy it.

This time however, the result was quite different as the spell rebounded. The only thing that saved him was that he'd long ago learned never to stand directly in front of what he wanted to hit. Several failed experiments during his student years had taught him how badly that could end. Still, he could do nothing but watch as the ball of magic bounced through the entire corridor until it reached the end and bounced back against the wall there.

"Sir?" Stibbons quietly asked.

"Yes?" the Archchancellor answered while staring at the rapidly approaching ball. Fascinating how this mayor had turned the entire corridor into a conduit for magic.

"Shouldn't you stop the spell?"

"What? Oh, no. This was from Filzweicher's tome of Effective Molestation Powers. One of these pulses is usually enough to destroy even the most powerful magical barriers. You can't simply stop a spell like that."

"Wouldn't it be a good idea to get out of the way then?"

What was Stibbons blathering about now? "Whatever for man? This might be your one and only chance to study this."

"But if it could destroy us..." Stibbons started.

"Destroy us? Why would it do that?"

"Well, it's-"

"It's heading our way!" Rincewind joined in as well, and if it wasn't for Conina lifting him from the ground the Archchancellor was certain that the wizard would have been out of the building, or even Sunnydale itself, minutes ago.

"Oh that," the Archchancellor said as understanding dawned. It was time to deal with the pulse anyway. Taking his time, he cast a spell that deflected the ball to the door moments before it would have hit them, and followed that up by creating a shield that would keep the ball bouncing against the door. "See? There is no need to panic. Now we'll just wait until the spell fizzles out. That shouldn't take too long, but it will give us the time to consider another way to get past that door."

When after several minutes the pulse faded away however, the wizards still hadn't come up with a good solution to open the door. Oh, there had been some ideas but none of them were actually feasible as the required ingredients weren't available.

Starting to fear a stalemate, the Archchancellor only raised his eyebrows slightly when Conina suddenly let Rincewind down and started for the door. Peering closely at it, Conina seemed to be searching for a flaw or weakness in the door; something the Archchancellor could tell her didn't exist. The magical protection of the door was very good and was unlikely to be broken with the spells they could cast here. All they needed to break through it was a bit of three cc of mouse blood and the leg of a three week old toad, but did anyone think to bring it? No, of course not.

While raging silently, the Archchancellor still noticed Conina step back from the door until she was standing a little less than a meter from it, but didn't think any of it or let it distract him from his tirade. And could they get those ingredients here? Ingredients that at the University he would only have had to send some student to fetch for him? Of course no-

The Archchancellor broke off as Conina spun around and hit the door with her outstretched leg. Even as the door shattered from the impact, he had his wand out and pointed into the room. Richard Wilkins III--and I and II--was seated behind his desk and looked up with an annoyed expression on his face. "Was that really necessary miss Summers? I'm afraid I'll have to take this up with your mother and the police as this wanton destruction of property is not something that should go unpunished. Community service will hopefully teach you the value of other people's property."

The man then turned to face the Archchancellor and continued his calm admonishments with him. "And you mister Giles. I can't understand why you would let a student act like this. Wasn't it bad enough that you had to kill poor Allen? Even during Halloween that is no way to behave. Now, I would ask all of you to leave my office and not to return here until after you have been judged by the court for your crimes. I will file the claims once you have left, which will leave you some time to explain the situation to your mother, miss Summers.

"And as for you principal Snyder, I must say that I'm disappointed. Not only have you failed to keep your students and faculty under control, but you even joined them in their folly."

At this point the Archchancellor decided that enough was enough. Wilkins had kept an impressive cool composure, but he obviously didn't understand the complete situation. "I'm afraid that you're under a misconception mister Wilkins. The people you are referring to are not the ones in control of these bodies."

"You'll forgive me if I'd need more than your word for it, don't you?"

"Are you sayin' I'm a liar?" Nanny Ogg interrupted. "'Cause I won't accept anyone callin' me a liar. Or any good Ramtops witch for that matter. You'd better apologize for that young man, or I swear you will die a horrible death."

"Young man?" Wilkins asked with his eyebrows raised in surprise. "I'm afraid miss Madison that I really am a bit older than you."

"Madison? I'm Gytha Ogg. You'd better remember that name sonnie, or-"

"Gytha, enough," Esme interrupted. "I'm sure the young man didn't mean any insult. He just ain't able to see beyond the bodies. He might be right though: I think he is older than you."

"He is over a hundred years old," the Archchancellor said while still keeping his eyes on Wilkins. The mayor was too calm, and the Archchancellor doubted that was because he didn't believe he was in any danger. No, he had something up his sleeve and it was that suspicion that stopped the Archchancellor from blasting Wilkins' body to tiny pieces right now.

"Over a hunnerd?" Mrs. Ogg asked with a surprised look. "He don't look a day older 'an eighty."

"I'm surprise at your knowledge mister Giles. Perhaps you are telling the truth about this possession after all. Maybe you'd care to tell me how this came to pass so I can ensure nothing like it happens again?"

Hah! Who did this man think he was facing? Some second-rate student incapable of handling his own end in a conversation? Wilkins might think he was good at this, but the Archchancellor's usual political opponent was Vetinari. And compared to the Patrician, this simple mayor was an amateur. "I don't think that will be necessary. Now, if you'd be so good as to die we can move on to our next objective."

With those words, the Archchancellor cast a spell powerful enough to destroy half a castle. No doubt the mayor was shielded, but a protection spell on a living, moving, being was always less powerful than one on a stationary object.

"I see," the mayor said after the ball of energy had faded away when it came within three feet of the mayor. "You are quite powerful; that was a very impressive spell."

"Not impressive enough: you have something that negates magic. Is it a spell or an object?"

Wilkins raised his eyebrows at that. "Why should I tell you?"

"Because we'll kill you if you don't!" the Dean shouted before firing his own salvo at the mayor, only to see that disappear as well.

"I thought you were going to do that anyway? What would the benefit be for me to tell you?"

"You won't hurt as much," the Dean snarled, disappointed that his attack had no more effect than the Archchancellor's.

A slightly mocking smile appeared on the mayor's face at those words. "I rather doubt I'm going to be the one in pain. Now, I will ask you one last time to leave my office before I will be forced to take measures."

Leave? With the job still undone? Even if they'd actually been in danger from this man, there was no way a real wizard would back down from a challenge like this. On the other hand, if magic couldn't touch him they had to find another way to kill the mayor.

"Your flashy stuff isn't working Ridcully," Esme interrupted his thoughts. "Like always when it comes to men, there is much talk but little that is useful. Conina? Would you be so kind as to handle this?"

At the request of the Ramtops' greatest witch, Conina stepped forward and made to attack the mayor. Only to fly backwards at the move of the mayor's hand. So, he could cast spells despite the protection, and the defense he used couldn't handle a physical attack.

"You're using some kind of amulet to stop the spells, but it won't work on anything but magic," Esme nodded in reaction, making the same connection the Archchancellor had.

"Perhaps, but I'm afraid I don't have time to play anymore. You've had your chance."

Ah, finally. The counter-attack. Preparing himself the Archchancellor had trouble keeping the smile from his face. The man might be carrying an amulet forged in the Dungeon Dimensions, but he was no match for any member of the faculty when it came to magic.

The mayor used quite a bit of hand waving and spell mumbling, but when the attack finally came it was surprisingly strong. Far stronger than a human on Roundworld was supposed to be. Considering how HEX had claimed that the girl currently possessed by the young witch--Agnes wasn't it?--was supposed to be more powerful than this man it was a very good thing he'd convinced Esme to come along. She should be able to keep the girl from trying to destroy the world.

Still, no matter how powerful the attack might be, Ridcully had no trouble deflecting it back to the mayor. Not that it was useful to deflect it back, but deflecting didn't need as much power as blocking the spell would. The mayor didn't need long to realize the futility though, but apart from widening his eyes in surprise the man remained calm and simply shifted his aim. The Dean was next, and while he wasted power by completely blocking the spell he was just as successful.

The mayor then turned towards Esme, and the other two witches but after looking at Esme's eyes he decided against attacking them. That was probably a very wise decision, although the Archchancellor wasn't quite sure how Esme could have handled an attack from a wizard. Still, the Archchancellor had no doubt that he would have made the same decision the mayor had. Unfortunately the mayor then turned to Rincewind who, sensing danger, immediately tried to run away.

The Archchancellor tried to block the attack on his fellow wizard, but was a moment too late. While he blocked most of it, Rincewind was hit in the back and slid across the floor until he came to a halt against the back wall. Agnes immediately ran to him to check Rincewind was still alive, but the Archchancellor had other things to consider: how were they going to handle this man?

Even if they didn't cancel the spell themselves, it would end when the sun came up and it was unlikely that the mayor's amulet wouldn't last at least that long. They were at a stalemate: neither side being able to really harm the other. The wizards had a weakness in Rincewind, but with him out of the way that would be over as well. The mayor on the other hand was still vulnerable to physical attacks.

Physical attacks that only the Conina/Slayer hybrid was capable of carrying out. But she was vulnerable to the mayor's magical attacks. Maybe they could shield her long enough to be able to reach the mayor? That would mean they had to-

Oh no.

Looking at the other faculty members he noticed them losing a bit of color in their faces and was certain they'd heard it as well. "How did that get here?" the Dean asked.

"It's been here before remember?" the Lecturer of Recent Runes answered.

"Yes, but the real Rincewind is still back in Ankh-Morpork!"

No matter how horrifying it was, the Archchancellor interrupted the discussion before every wizard would start to involve himself with it. "How it got here is not important; remember that we're talking about sapient peerwood here, but I do propose we move to the sides of the room. Away from the door before it gets here."

The sound of hundreds of tiny feet coming closer was getting louder all the time, although the Archchancellor realized that nobody except the wizards had actually heard the sound yet. Unlike everybody else however, for the wizards hearing that sound had become somewhat of a survival trait. Calmly, and making sure not to portray any nervousness the wizards all moved to the side, with the witches following quickly. They might not understand the danger, but they were smart enough to follow.

This left only the mayor standing in the middle of the room, and while he looked a bit confused about their moving to the sides of the room--and the nervous glances at the door--the mayor also seemed to believe he was capable of handling anything that would come at him.

Still, he seemed very surprised when the Luggage calmly walked into the room, followed by a smaller case that looked very much the same. Oh no. The Archchancellor suddenly remembered that horrible report where Rincewind had claimed that the Luggage had gotten children with another suitcase made of sapient peerwood while they were in the Agathean Empire. This was terrible. One of the few good things about this world was that they wouldn't be bothered by the damn thing anymore.

"Trunks with feet?" The mayor had gotten over his surprise, and while the Luggage was peering in Rincewind's direction--probably wondering how he had gotten hurt--the mayor's expression showed he planned to destroy the Luggage. Of course, any wizard present could have told the man what would happen if he tried that, and it was because of this that the Archchancellor averted his eyes. He wasn't queasy, he'd done enough hunting himself, but there were some things he preferred not to see.

The Archchancellor could hear the sound of a powerful spell being cast, followed by a gasp of surprise when that didn't have any effect, the sound of hundreds of tiny feet suddenly sprinting towards their goal, a muffled cry and the slamming of a lid. The witches were staring in the direction where undoubtedly the mayor had just disappeared, and he decided that it was probably safe to take his own look. Just in time to see a big red tongue recede into the Luggage.

This once again proved the point that no matter how well protected you were, there were some things that you just couldn't predict.

* * *

Author's note: Sorry for not posting this earlier. But somehow the site wouldn't let me upload the file until today. The next part will appear on Sunday again. 


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Sam, are you sure this is a good idea?" Sybil asked him.

Vimes was pretty sure this was far from the best idea he'd ever had, but he didn't have a choice in the matter. In order for this world, and the Discworld itself, to be safe it was important that the most dangerous elements had to be taken out before the real danger arrived. And those elements included the two vampires that were holed up in the warehouse they were aiming for now. "No, but it has to be done."

Sybil let out a weary sigh, but didn't reply to his statement. As the highest ranking member of Ankh-Morpork nobility she was more than used to the idea of duty, and he was painfully aware that being married to him had only strengthened that knowledge. Without thinking he took out the silver cigar case, and opened it. Only to find it empty.

Of course, Sto-Helit had told him that smoking was frowned upon by a lot of people in this world and had therefore forbidden him to pack any cigars with the clothes. Come to think of it, she'd made a lot of other strange requests as well. It might've made sense, but when she arrived at their house and asked him to dress in his old Watch outfit he'd looked at her as if she were crazy. Of course, somebody like her couldn't be crazy, only eccentric.

Eccentric or not, Vimes had told her no and if it wasn't for Sybil's insistence he would have shown Sto-Helit the door. Of course, the two of them had known each other--sometimes he had a feeling that Sybil knew everybody--and Sto-Helit, or Suzan as she preferred to be called, had joined them in the sitting room. In an aside Sybil had quickly explained Suzan's strange heritage to him, and that was something he still hadn't managed to wrap his head around.

Reproduction on the Discworld wasn't always exactly normal: vampires were created by biting, but they could also be born to an existing female vampire, and the reproduction of trolls was something he didn't even want to consider. That Death had his own little family however was quite a surprise. He'd managed to stop himself from cracking a joke about a Mrs. Death, but when he learned how the whole thing worked it had been even stranger.

How could Suzan have some of her grandfather's traits if her own mother had been adopted? That sort of thing just didn't make any sense, but Vimes had stopped himself from thinking about it before it turned his brain to mush. Of course, once he understood who she was and she explained that she was there on behalf of her grandfather he'd decided that maybe it wasn't all that bad to put on his old armor again. He might not always be very concerned with his own help, but both Sybil and little Sam were in the house and angering Death could be a very easy way to lose them.

Then had come Suzan's story. The story where she explained how on a world that was kept within the Unseen University--bloody wizards who were once again playing with stuff they didn't understand--there was something magical that could cause the destruction of not only that world, but most of existence. A goddess would try to use it to go home, but while the fabric of reality itself had stopped this from happening a second attempt was sure to come.

And when that happened they would all die.

In itself using the magical thing would only cause a number of realities to briefly merge and exchange some things. A couple of dragons would probably appear on this so-called Roundworld, and a number of other side-effects, but nothing really serious. The portal that was created would soon be closed by a heroic sacrifice, and all would be well again.

But that wasn't how it would happen.

Something or someone--Suzan was a bit vague about what--would interfere at a critical point and when the portal opened it would cause a chain reaction of destruction. Roundworld would be blown apart, and the Discworld would soon follow. Other universes would be destroyed as well, but they wouldn't be important to them any more. After all, it was a bit hard to concern yourself about anything once you no longer existed. Or had never existed in the first place if that was the way the destruction would be. Once again Suzan had been a bit vague in her explanation of how they would be destroyed and Vimes suspected that she wasn't quite sure herself in this matter, but seeing how Sybil had looked at the news he'd decided against pushing Suzan. Besides, who really wanted to know how he would die?

He did ask her at that point why she was telling him this, and the answer wasn't something he'd expected. Even now, inhabiting the body of somebody else, Vimes could hear the words in his mind: 'Fixing the problem will take years, and I can't trust the wizards to do it right. I want you to go there.'

Naturally he'd balked at that. The anger at the temerity of asking him to leave behind his wife and son had been fierce, but once Suzan started to explain what she meant the anger had slowly faded away. The thought of having two of him running around was both intriguing and scary. Who hadn't imagined what it would be like to split in two? Being able to both do your work and be around the house in case your child needed you?

Still, the thought of having two of him running around wasn't something that came easy. What if the other was different? What if he let some of his bad qualities take control? He might end up drinking again? Well, not he himself, but the other Vimes. Who knew where he'd be now if he hadn't met Sybil? She might not be the only reason he'd changed--the dragon and even Carrot's voluntary enlistment had been a part of that too--but she was the one he counted the most on.

And then Suzan had said that Sybil could come as well. That in fact she had already checked the various people they'd be possessing and that there was a girl among them who was well-suited for Sybil's temperament. At first he'd been against it, but when Sybil rightly pointed out that there wasn't any danger to her as it was only a copy that would go to the Roundworld there hadn't been anything he could say to stop her.

Once he'd admitted defeat, he finally got around to the question that had bothered him all along: why had she chosen him?

'Because I trust you to do what's right.' Here too, Vimes could remember the exact intonation she'd used while she gave him that reason. Suzan had elaborated on it a bit, but it wasn't until she showed him what she expected of him that he finally became convinced that it was the right thing to do.

The fact that he got to kill some vampires was simply an added bonus.

So he'd called in Carrot who didn't hesitate a moment and immediately decided to join them in this quest. Carrot, who he'd hoped to have with him before he got around to this part of his duties. Well, to be honest he wouldn't mind Detritus either, or Dorfl for that matter. Both the troll and the golem would be able to clear out the warehouse within moments while the vampires were incapable of even harming them.

The weak vampires. Vimes was still amazed at how easy it had been to kill the ones that had attacked them earlier. He was used to vampires that were not only strong, fast, and extremely hard to kill, but smart as well. What he'd seen so far from the vampires in this world they weren't as strong, not quite as fast, a lot easier to kill in a way that ensured they stayed dead, and well... stupid was the best word he could come up with.

Inside the warehouse though were two vampires who were a lot closer to what he was used to. The vampires that were his first real task on this world, and the only one he was going to carry out tonight. William the Bloody, or Spike as he liked to call himself, and Drusilla were both so-called master vampires.

Even worse, Drusilla was not only crazy but capable of seeing the future as well. Suzan had warned him that Drusilla would know they were coming, and as if that wasn't bad enough she would also warn Spike so they could have an army around to guard them. Vimes hated fighting armies, but Suzan had explained the damage this Spike would do if he didn't die here today.

The death of Drusilla would give a Slayer a chance to live longer, thereby saving a number people who otherwise would have fallen to various vampires and demons. Not counting those who would've been killed by Drusilla once she was sane again. Killing Spike did even more good: his actions the coming years would have caused a lot of problems. Now he wouldn't be around to turn the Slayer and her friends against each other, or try to kill them for that matter. According to Suzan, Spike would never manage to kill any of the Slayer's friends and eventually even help them, but the damage he would do before that was too great to ignore.

Once again Vimes opened the cigar case, and once again he found it empty. A world where they objected to smoking, how strange could this be? With a weary sigh he replaced the case in his inside pocket. "It's time for you to go," he said to Sybil.

She only nodded before suddenly turning towards him, grabbing him by the lapels of his coat, pulling him close against her body, and practically ravaging him. Vimes was so surprised that it took him a moment to understand what was going on before he returned the favor. While he enjoyed the attention of his wife, he was also very much aware that, while it might be Sybil inside the body of the beautiful young girl, it was obviously the body of a healthy young girl. It made him feel dirty, as if he was cheating on his wife by kissing somebody else. Even if that somebody else actually wa-

Enough. Thinking about that would only drive him crazy. Before he could return his attentions back to the sensations however, Sybil let go while taking a deep gulp of air. "That was different."

"Yes," and not just because of the body. It wasn't like Sybil to act like this in public. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she said while waving her hand to get some cool air on her face. "It's just that I feel like a teenager again, and this time there isn't anybody trying to stop me from doing this. Not that there was anyone I wanted to do this when I was this young."

"Yes," suddenly aware of the carefully diverted attention of the people around them, Vimes took control of himself. This was not the time to waste on romantic things; no matter how nice they were. "You should go now. You remember where the girl lives?"

Suzan had told them before they left because it was a safe place, and the girl's parents weren't home. It also had the advantage that when the spell ended, the girl would be at a familiar place. Giving her one less reason to panic. "I remember."

"Good. Nobby will escort you and the children there."

"Are you sure you can miss him? I think that by now it's pretty safe on the streets. We haven't seen any monsters for a while now, but you need to fight a lot more of these vampires, and every man counts."

"We can handle what's inside there," Vimes assured her. Willing her to believe; he couldn't have her close to the fighting and if Nobby was the only protection he could give her to get her away from here, that's what he would do. For Sybil, Nobby would do things he normally balked at and that would ensure her safety.

"Very well," Sybil smiled at him. A smile that conveyed more of her feelings in this matter than any words could. Sybil's feelings in this matter weren't clear to anybody, not even herself, but Vimes was certain that if it hadn't been for the children she wouldn't have left. Not to fight herself, she was too smart for that, but because her escort would leave him alone with only two of his officers. Only one of whom he would have chosen for this task in Ankh-Morpork.

Now that she'd accepted it, Vimes quickly called Nobby over. "Yes mister Vimes?"

"Sybil needs an escort to the home of the girl she's inhabiting. You'll be her escort."

"Yes sir. What should I do when I've finished with that? Return here?"

A warning look from Sybil told him that ordering Nobby to guard her would be a bad idea, and as long as she stayed inside the house she would be safe so he ignored his instincts and told Nobby what to do instead. "No, we should be done here by then. We'll meet up near the costume shop where we'll end the spell. It's gone on long enough now, and I don't want more people to die." Enough had died already. Even thinking about the massacre at the Bronze made Vimes feel slightly ill, but he didn't have time to deal with that now: he'd figure out who was responsible for that later.

"Where is this costume shop, sir?" Nobby asked.

While he was giving Nobby directions to Ethan's, Sybil organized the children and shortly thereafter the group left. Leaving just the three of them.

And a couple of dozen vampires.

And he still didn't have a cigar.

"What's the plan sir?" Angua asked once Sybil and the others were out of sight.

"We kill them."

"Sir?"

No, there was no way they could kill all of these vampires, and they didn't have to either. There were only two vampires in that building that needed to be killed: Spike and Drusilla. As far as the other vampires went he still believed that killing them was a good thing, but he had no intention of risking his men to achieve that. "Can you change?" Vimes therefore asked Angua.

She replied with a simple "Yes" and it was on that basis that he started making his plan. A plan that was interrupted when Angua suddenly stiffened and spoke up. "There is a vampire coming."

The three of them raised their crossbows, as it wouldn't do to have this new arrival call out to his friends inside. When the vampire appeared in the open, Vimes moved his finger to squeeze the trigger, but stopped when the vampire called out. "Xander! Finally I've found one of you. Have you seen Bu-"

It was at that moment that the vampire realized Vimes was aiming a crossbow at him, and that he wasn't the only one. Luckily, for the vampire at least, both Angua and Fred had noticed his sudden reluctance to shoot. With the vampire having skidded to a stop, this probably looked like a very strange standoff, but Vimes was too busy considering the possibilities of this new arrival. "You're Angel right?"

"Of course I am, Xander you kno-" A slight movement with his crossbow made Angel stop talking. Whether the vampire believed that the original inhabitant of this body was good with a crossbow, or that he simply recognized the skill Vimes had himself, it was good enough to stop the vampire.

Now, what were their options here? Vimes listed the pros and cons of the new possibilities of this plan. The vampire knew a lot about their targets, pro. The vampire could fight, pro. The vampire was, well, a vampire. Very much a con.

Still, while he would no doubt regret this decision at a later date, having the vampire join them would make things easier. Lowering his crossbow until it was aimed at the ground instead of the undead creature before him, Vimes spoke up. "My name is Vimes. Mister Vimes, your grace, or something similar to you. Through the magic of one of your local wizards I have come to possess this body, and in the time until the spell ends I have to ensure two vampires are killed."

"You're not Xander?" the vampire asked with a surprised look in his eyes. "Well, it fits with the rest of the evening." The vampire--no he should start thinking of it as Angel, they were working together after all--looked around and took notice of exactly where they were. "Spike and Drusilla," he breathed.

"Yes, those two," Vimes acknowledged.

"How do you know about them? You said you've only just possessed Xander, and he didn't even know about Drusilla yet."

"Who was it again that can be blamed for that lack of knowledge?" Vimes shot back. He hated it when people kept important information from their allies. Except when they were fighting him of course, but that was a completely different matter.

"I thought I could deal with it myself," Angel defended himself.

"Well, this is your chance," Vimes smiled back. A smile he knew very well was not something anyone wanted to see. "You are going to help us destroy them."

Between the crossbows, and Angel's own knowledge of good and evil, it was obvious what conclusion the vampire would come to. "I don't have much of a choice here, do I?"

There was no real need to do so, but Vimes couldn't help responding. "None at all."

A heavy sigh went through the vampire's body, and after a last look at the crossbows they were carrying he gave in with a resigned voice. "What should I do?"

"We're going to attack. The spell could end at any moment, and this really should be taken care of by then."

"What? The four of us? We'll never make it! There must be two dozen vampires in there, and we don't have Buffy with us."

"Don't worry," Vimes tried to sooth the vampire. Sooth a vampire! How could that have happened? Just because he knew this one was on their side didn't mean he should be soothing the creature. "When it comes to raw power we have someone better than the Slayer." Especially as this someone happened to be trustworthy.

"Really?" Angel asked with doubt clear in his voice. "Don't you think it would be wiser to do this once Buffy is herself again?"

Vimes didn't even bother to answer that question, and simply waved Angel to come along with him while they circled the building. At the front of the building he knew that Angua would be getting ready, and he couldn't wait until the vampires inside would discover what they actually faced. After all, while there were werewolves on this world, none of them had the control Angua did. Or the sheer strength that came from the careful breeding her family had done over the years.

Still, he wished Carrot was here.

x.x.x

"This is it?" Jane asked with barely restrained impatience. Considering she was an Assassin, the way she showed her impatience was a very telling sign. A well-trained Assassin was able to wait for hours, sometimes even days, without moving or getting bored. But this was far from a simple matter, and no doubt the little children had destroyed whatever patience the girl might have had. No, despite the way she looked, Jane was no little girl at the moment and Suzan should do well to remember that. Too much was at stake here.

"This is Ethan's, the costume shop where the both of you got your costumes," Suzan answered the question, indicating both Jane and Sara. While she had handed over the care of all the little children to Lu Tze the two of them had refused to go with the monk, opting instead to stay with her. She was uncertain why they did, but figured that they might still feel the connection between the three friends whose bodies they were wearing.

"Owned by the man who cast the spell that turned everybody into their costumes," Carrot added quietly. Even when Suzan explained to him what would happen when they were still in their own bodies back on the Discworld, he hadn't been able to understand why anyone would do something like this. Now he would have the chance to ask Rayne himself though, and she had a feeling the wizard would answer Carrot's question faster than hers.

If they had a chance to ask them that is. "Jane, I want your promise not to kill him before he can end the spell. We don't know what would happen if you did, and I really don't want to find out."

"When the spell is broken, I'll be gone, won't I? For all intents and purposes, I'll be dead."

So that was it. The Assassin was afraid to die, and judging by the way she spoke Suzan figured that Jane would try to kill Ethan before the spell could be broken. That was dangerous, but did explain why she had come along. That still left Sara though... no, wait. The two of them had spoken before they announced they were coming, and Jane had probably convinced Sara that she would be able to do this. Neither of them wanted to die, and killing Ethan was the only way they could think of that would end the spell. She'd better try to convince them otherwise. "You won't really be dead. The spell will integrate you with the original owner of the body, ceding control to her, but you'll still be there: one part of her."

"That's easy for you to say," Jane replied. "You have another life on the Discworld, while Sara and I don't."

So, that was the biggest problem of them all, and it was one that she couldn't do anything about. How they had figured out that they weren't actually alive on the Discworld was something Suzan couldn't figure out, but they had and now she had to deal with it. "That is very likely. However, that also means that most of your personality is based on the people whose body you possess. So, if the spell ends you won't even change that much."

"Right," Jane snorted in obvious disbelief. "Why don't you just let me handle it my way, and we can all live happily ever after."

"I'm sorry Jane, but I can't let you kill him. Too many things could go wrong if you do that."

"And I might die, if he's allowed to let the spell die gently. Thank you, but no."

Suzan only nodded as she understood that they really didn't have a choice in this matter, and looked Carrot in the eyes. An understanding was reached, and when Suzan turned her attention back to Jane she didn't need to hold the girl's attention for long. Halfway through her next reasoning the girl slumped to the ground while Carrot stood over her with a regretful look in his eyes. "I didn't want to do this."

"We didn't have a choice in the matter," Suzan comforted him. An action she knew was unnecessary because he knew her reasoning as well as she did. Which had undoubtedly been the reason he'd remained quiet during the argument. Now that this was over and done with though, it was time to deal with Ethan Rayne himself.

Stepping to the door, she wasn't surprised to find it locked and while she might be able to open it for them--she hadn't yet tested if she had that ability of her grandfather in this body--that might tell Rayne that a magic user was outside of his door and trying to enter. "Sara? Would you please open this door?"

"Sure," the young thief answered while she took some tools from her pockets. Had that been part of the costume or had she picked the tools up elsewhere? Not that it really mattered: the important thing was that they'd be able to get inside without having to resort to breaking down the door. Not that she doubted Carrot was physically capable of doing that, but they were facing a fairly powerful magic user who wouldn't be happy with their presence. Not actually barging in through an indefensible spot was therefore a pretty good idea.

Using a number of tiny sticks, Sara worked on the door for maybe half a minute before she stepped back with a smile of accomplishment. A smile that faded once she caught sight of Jane's crumpled body. Well that couldn't be helped; Jane would have killed Ethan Rayne, and that couldn't be allowed. "It's open," Sara said once she'd turned her head away from Jane in order to stare defiantly at Suzan.

Heaving an internal sigh, Suzan felt slightly depressed that she had to start feeling guilty for saving a life. "Thank you."

"I'll go in first," Carrot said, taking the lead now that the actual raid was going to take place. Suzan didn't have any problems with that as he was more experienced in these actions, but also knew that she couldn't be far behind him. If Rayne was going to use magic against them, she was the one who had the best chance at countering it. Besides, she really had to find out if her suspicions about these other costumes were right.

Carrot carefully opened the door, and slipped through into the dark shop. No doubt the mage would be in the backroom, where he wouldn't be disturbed, so this room should be fairly safe. The magic that was active on the remaining costumes in the shop prevented her from sensing if there were any magical traps though so she quietly cautioned him against that.

Once he was inside, Suzan positioned herself next to the door; keeping part of her attention on the street and part on what Carrot was doing. It didn't take Carrot long to ensure that the shop was safe to enter and he returned to carry Jane inside. The two of them would be confronting Rayne, and it wouldn't do to leave the girl in danger while they did so.

With Jane carefully lying on the floor, the time had come for the actual confrontation. Silently Suzan indicated to Sara that the girl should check if the door leading to the backroom was locked--and to open it if it was. The door was unlocked though, and so the girl was directed to remain with Jane. If anything were to come inside, that would at least mean that they'd be warned about it.

As they opened the door, she could see Rayne standing with his back to them, although that didn't stop him from noticing them. "Come in, and welcome to my humble abode. How may I help you?"

"By stopping the spell," Suzan spoke up quietly, while following Carrot into the room.

At these words Rayne turned around and looked at her in surprise. "I'm surprised to see you here dear. I didn't figure you were this brave a girl." Suddenly he seemed to realize what was actually going on. "But then, you're not the girl who came here with her friends, are you? Somehow you have been affected as well, despite not having bought anything from me. I really should find out how that happened. And you, young man? Did you change as well?"

Carrot didn't answer Rayne; instead opting to look around the room in an attempt to spot any dangers. When he didn't recognize any he once again looked at Rayne, but remained silent clearly letting Suzan take the lead in the confrontation.

"Ah, well that's all right though. Now miss, where are your friends? I figured they would be with you."

"You figured they would have killed me," Suzan interrupted Rayne's rambling. "Do you really think I wouldn't have seen through that?"

"Oh, that," Rayne said while waving the accusation away. "That was nothing personal: just another way to increase the chaos. You, as the daughter of Death, should understand that."

"Granddaughter," Suzan corrected, "and chaos isn't something he is very fond of."

"My apologies then. Now, what can I do for you? Would you like to thank me for bringing you here? Or do you want to know how you can keep that body?"

Why was he thinking she would want something like that? Suzan stared at Rayne for a couple of seconds until she finally realized his error: he thought she was evil. The mage didn't understand that Death was a force of nature, neither good nor evil, and only ensuring that the dead arrived at their intended destination in the afterlife.

How a magic user of Rayne's level couldn't understand that was something she didn't understand, but she shrugged it off for now. It wasn't the most important thing, and there were questions she needed to ask of him.

"I don't need any of those things. I'm interested in only one thing: where did you get the costumes you gave to the girl's friends?"

"Does it matter?" Rayne asked, but years of teaching little children had ensured that Suzan could spot a lie from a mile off. And while Rayne wasn't actually lying, he was trying to hide something. Something that she instinctively knew was important.

"Tell her," Carrot said, moving into an even more threatening stance. Not that it was nearly as threatening as the original Carrot was when he wanted to be, but then again Oz wasn't even close to the same size. But as Rayne had never seen the original he didn't have anything to compare it to and only knew that a heavily armed, and obviously trained man was demanding something.

Unfortunately, Rayne believed he was too powerful for Carrot to stop. "I see no reason not to divulge my sources for the costumes. I got my costumes at a warehouse sale. It was a cheap way to get what I needed, but I still don't see why that should concern you."

"Did you know, mister Rayne, that I can tell when you're lying?" Suzan said in an attempt to get him to speak up again.

"I wasn't lying," Rayne tried again while showing an unrepentant grin, but this time Suzan had enough.

"YOU WILL TELL ME."

Rayne's eyes glassed over for a moment, and then he started talking: "I got those costumes only a couple of days ago, when somebody came by to ask if I was interested. As I immediately saw the possibilities they offered I wasn't about to say no to such a reasonable offer."

"WHO OFFERED YOU THE COSTUMES?"

"He never told me his name, and I figured they weren't quite legally obtained so I decided against asking too many questions."

He was either resisting her, or she might be wrong about her suspicions after all. "WAS THERE ANYTHING STRANGE ABOUT THIS MAN? ANYTHING AT ALL?"

"Well," Ethan started, "I don't know if you could really call it strange, but it was curious."

"What was?" Carrot asked, before Suzan had the chance to do so.

"He was very graceful: it was almost as if he was floating over the ground instead of walking on it."

Floating. While that might not have been enough for anyone else, combined with the information she already had this confirmed her suspicions: They had recognized what was going on and as always copied the idea. Suzan wasn't quite sure what they thought to achieve by doing so, but she didn't doubt she would find out.

That was a concern for later though. Right now she had to stop the spell to prevent even more innocents from getting hurt. "HOW DO WE END THE SPELL?"

"Break the statue," Rayne answered while nodding in the direction of a small statue.

"DO IT, BREAK THE SPELL."

This time the man put up more of a resistance, probably because his god didn't want the spell to end. But where the god might have been able to resist her commands, Rayne himself had no chance against the voice of Death and therefore after a brief flash of angry resistance walked over to the small statue he'd indicated earlier. Picking it up he statue, he raised it over his head and threw it to the ground at the very moment that Jane ran through the door opening and fired her tiny crossbow at him.

Whirling around Suzan tried to stop the crossbow bolt, but it was too late. Jane was quiet, and it was only when the bolt was fired that Suzan realized what was happening. And by the time she did understand and wanted to freeze time the statue shattered on the ground; causing her to stumble as Suzan's personality, memories, and abilities were merged with Dawn. The merging only took an instant, but the confusion it caused lasted longer and Dawn completely forgot the bolt until she heard Rayne fall to the ground while Jane wore a look of horror.

x.x.x

Xander wasn't entirely sure what was going on. Well, on some level he was but that didn't mean he actually had to accept that he was sharing his body with an old man. Well, maybe not so much sharing his body as knowing the man's entire life and being able to act on it.

Ducking a swing from a vampire, he used the, once again fake, sword to beat the creature against the head before finishing it off with the stake he'd brought along tonight. Brought along 'just in case'. Well, Just in case had happened and now he was forced to fight his way through a horde of vampires just to kill Spike and Drusilla. Next to him he felt the strangely comfortable presence of Angel: the cursed vampire who he now knew would lose his soul if he slept with Buffy.

A feeling of pity for his unwanted ally passed briefly through Xander's body. Where once he would have felt jealous of Buffy's feelings for the vampire, he now only felt pity for the doomed love affair the two of them had.

Pity has no place on a battlefield though, and as there weren't all that many vampires left he now even had a view of Angua--no it was Theresa--who was still in wolf form and tearing through the vampires as if they weren't there. There was hardly anything that could stand against a powerful werewolf like Angua, and most of the things that could were on the Discworld. He didn't know much about werewolves on Earth, but he had a feeling that just like the vampires here were weaker, that probably went for the werewolves as well.

Still, it was weird to suddenly know how to fight. Obviously being possessed by somebody who had spent years as a guard, and therefore had quite often been in the Shades, did wonders for your fighting ability.

Duck, hit, stab, hit, stab, stab. It was strange how easy it was, although the vampires had obviously recognized An- Theresa as the greatest threat and were therefore paying more attention to her than him. Xander didn't complain though. As long as the vampires died he was perfectly fine with them underestimating him. They were fighting a war against the vampires and fighting fair wasn't a luxury they could afford. Especially when you considered that the vampires were only the weakest of the enemy.

Strange how these thoughts had never really occurred to him before today. Okay, it wasn't exactly strange, but a part of him was still trying to resist the knowledge that he'd been possessed by somebody who came from a world where the local wizards had created this world.

Dodging yet another swing, Xander shattered the knee of his opponent before he finished it off with a quick stab with his stake. See? The street fighting knowledge he'd gained was actually useful. He wondered how it would affect the rest of his fighting though.

Crosses for example. Would they still work for him now that he was aware that God was some kind of combination of a bunch of wizards? Wizards who only cared about eating? On the other hand, if he'd understood Suzan ri- No, if Vimes had understood Suzan right God might actually exist here after all because of the deitygen, deitum, whatever.

He continued fighting the vampires until suddenly he was facing Spike. A Spike who looked far from happy and really wanted to kill him. Well, the feeling was mutual. Xander attacked first, swinging his fake sword in an attempt to startle Spike into an error.

Unfortunately, Spike didn't play along and simply caught the weapon in his hand before wresting it from Xander's grip. Throwing it behind him, he smirked at Xander: "No Slayer? What makes you think you can take me on by yourself?"

"He's not alone," Angel suddenly said as he appeared next to Xander.

"Ah, the great poof himself! Am I supposed to be scared now? 'Cause I can tell ya that I'm not exactly shiverin' on my feet here."

"Give it up Spike," Angel continued. "We've killed most of your minions, and taking care of the rest won't take much longer."

"Ah, but you haven't killed me yet. And that's going to be the hard part."

Gloating, gloating, gloating. Vimes had learned to really hate the gloating that the bad guys always did when they believed they couldn't be harmed, and that was one of the traits that Xander had quickly taken over. So, while Spike was gloating, Xander decided on the most useful course of action.

The vampire was too fast though, and within moments his hand was caught in the vampires strong grip who then squezed Xander's arm until he was forced to drop the stake. Spike didn't stop there though, and with a short twist of his hand that seemed far too simple he broke Xander's arm. "Not so fast, Slayer's pet. I wasn't done talking yet."

"Let him go Spike."

"Why should I?" Spike gloated while Xander did his best to block the pain and think of a way to get out of this. "I thought you'd want to see him dead with the way he's always sayin' that he's better than you. Or so my spies tell me."

"I told you to let him go," Angel growled, an action that finally seemed to gain Spike's full attention. The very thing that Xander had been waiting for.

In a move that went against all the rules of the Marquis of Fantailler--why did he even know such a ridiculous name--he kicked Spike between the legs. As expected, this was painful enough that Spike reacted by bending over and, more importantly, release Xander. With his good arm Xander then took hold of Spike's head, and raised his knee to shatter the vampire's nose--together with as much of the rest of his face as possible.

When he let go, Spike actually dropped to the floor and Xander grabbed his spare stake with his left hand. But the pain in his broken arm slowed him down too much so that Spike had the chance to recover and was once again able to intercept his attempt at staking the vampire. "That was stupid boy," the vampire said with a glare on his face. "Now I'll have to take my time killing you."

Spike was so focused on Xander, that he once again proved he was incapable of watching two people at the same time and therefore didn't see Angel rush him until it was too late. Angel, the one person Xander had never expected to do anything useful for him had first not only proved a distraction for Spike, but was now actually fighting the other vampire.

Angel crashed into Spike who had no choice but to let go of Xander, and within moments the two were rolling over the floor in their fight. Xander still held his stake, and tried to make eye-contact with Angel in the hope that he would understand him. After what seemed like hours Angel finally did--at least that's how Xander decided to interpret it--and allowed Spike to pin him to the ground.

This time Xander didn't make a mistake and quickly staked Spike in the back, and once Spike turned to dust he allowed himself to actually pay attention to the pain. Dropping the stake, he craddled his useless arm. Damn that hurts! For a short while the pain seemed to fade out the rest of the world; until he became consciously aware of the the complete silence that had fallen, and forced himself to look around.

The only beings still there were the four of them. They had all survived, with his own injuries being the worst. Theresa had even shifted back to human form, so obviously she had kept those powers. Although she just as obviously wasn't able to transfer her clothes along. Looking at the naked girl, Xander wondered why he wasn't drooling at the sight. Theresa was far from ugly, but his mind was filled with two people: Sybil and Cordelia. Two people who had become one.

But why should the fact that Vimes and Sybil loved each other have any influence on his life? This was a different world, and they were both free to do what they wanted. If he wanted to see about dating Theresa, who was now running towards him in order to see to his wounds, why shouldn't he?

That's right, why shouldn't he?

Nevertheless, Xander decided that once he got to the hospital he would call Cordy to see how she was doing. Or maybe he should go by her house on the way to the hospital?


	7. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Well, that seems to have gone all right," the Archchancellor said after they had finished checking the work of their counterparts. "Although I do wonder where certain people came from. I remember giving a clear order against the inclusion of either Commander Vimes or captain Ironfoundersson. Would you care to explain that Stibbons? Or for that matter how Suzan ended up there?"

The young wizard looked slightly nervous, but managed to retain enough of his composure to keep himself from running away. "Well sir, miss Sto-Helit demanded that we give the Key a set of her own clothes because, because, because she wanted to be sure that even without us around the girl would be able to protect herself."

"More likely she didn't trust we could do a good job," the Dean spoke up. "Maybe she doesn't trust our leadership very much."

"Or she thinks that the girl might need some help in coping with the problems that are sure to come up."

"What problems?" the Archchancellor asked the Lecturer of Recent Runes, who'd made that last comment.

"Well, she is a young girl who learned that she hasn't really existed for even a week yet. I imagine that any non-wizard would have problems with revelations like that."

Well yes, that was obvious wasn't it? And the Archchancellor hadn't really needed the Lecturer to point that out. Right. So, now that he'd remembered this particular piece of information, he could draw the logical conclusions. "Yes, yes. This way the girl will already have some knowledge of what it means not to be completely human, but that still doesn't excuse the fact that we weren't informed of it beforehand. Stibbons, explain."

The answer given by Stibbons was a mere mumble, and the Archchancellor couldn't understand it until he told the man to speak up. When he did finally decipher that mumbling, he was still pretty sure that he'd heard wrong. "She told you not to? That's the reason why we were unaware of this?"

More mumbling came from Stibbons, and the Archchancellor figured that to be some kind of agreement with his summation, but decided to shift the attention back to the more important things. Suzan wasn't really a big disruption in their plans, and had in fact already been useful by ending the spell before any real damage could be done. The other two on the other hand...

"What about Vimes and the captain?" he therefore demanded.

"I didn't know about that," Stibbons replied. "She never told me about them, but they were pretty useful, weren't they? With how Vimes took care of those vampires and everything?"

"Vimes might have done something that is useful to us, but do you really think he'll stop interfering now? If his personality is just as much integrated with his wearer as ours are, he'll just continue to interfere where he shouldn't."

"Yes sir," Stibbons replied, "but couldn't we go back in time to prevent those children from getting these costumes?"

"He's right," the Dean said. "We could go there ourselves and change things a bit more so that everything goes even better. I think that the other me should have had his own chance at killing the mayor anyway. He would have finished the job."

"Quiet Dean," the Archchancellor interrupted. It was a pretty good idea, but he had a feeling that it might not be as easy as they all thought. There was one important player in this game who appeared to have figured it all out, but who always remained in the background. He'd had his suspicions about the way they had been led to deal with the situation, and knew that HEX would have foreseen this idea as well. Still, HEX had been created to tell the truth, so he might as well try. Directing his attention on the machine he asked his question.

"Can we change the past like we did with that Shakespeare fellow?"

The machine made all of its usual strange noises, and it wasn't too long before a piece of paper fell into the 'OUT' box. It was the Dean who got to the paper first, and it wasn't long before his crestfallen expression showed the conclusion that had been drawn by HEX. "We can't," he said succinctly.

That wasn't enough information for the Archchancellor though, so he demanded more. "Why not? We've done it once, we should be able to do it a second time."

"The Key has somehow locked the gateway between our dimensions. There is no way we can get to them, or the other way around."

"No way? Not even through L-Space?" Stibbons asked incredulously. "Wouldn't the librarian know better if that's possible?"

The Archchancellor knew more about the Key though, and while the monks he'd talked to hadn't really touched on this possibility it was pretty obvious that if the Key was able to open the path between dimensions, it could work the other around as well.

"You can ask him if you want, Stibbons, but it won't make a difference. The only thing we can trust on now is the knowledge that we left that world in the best possible hands. Ours."

x.x.x

"I CANNOT GET THERE," Death said again in wonder. This was the first time he'd ever wanted, no needed, to go somewhere and which he found unable to do. He had intended to show up on the Roundworld the day after Halloween in order to talk to his newest granddaughter, but had never even been able to enter the universe it existed in. Which led to him ending up here, pacing around a small room.

Suzan for herself wasn't happy with him showing up here. While she had more or less accepted the fact that she'd never be completely rid of him, there was always the hope that he wouldn't show up anywhere he could cause a scene. She'd even told him that he really should remember not to show up when she was in company. But did he listen?

Oh no, imagine that, Death actually listen to his granddaughter. No, that wasn't entirely fair, Suzan told herself honestly. An honesty she didn't want to be burdened with. She'd managed to stay focused during Death's complaining and even his pacing. But now he was starting to move stuff around, which meant she had to interfere before anybody noticed.

With a mere thought, she froze everybody in the room except for herself and her grandfather. For every other teacher in the school who was currently present for their weekly meeting time stopped, but all she could think about was turning her heated gaze on Death. "What do you think you're doing? And you! Don't think I don't see you there behind the cupboard!"

"SQUEAK!" the tiny skeleton proclaimed his innocence.

Turning her attention back to Death, Suzan looked more closely at him. Sure, he'd been complaining, but she'd resigned herself long ago that her grandfather could at times be a very proficient complainer. This time looked more serious though, and if she hadn't already had a good idea of the cause she might have been anxious herself.

"I KNOW YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN I COME HERE, BUT I HAD NO CHOICE. THE KEY HAS LOCKED ME OUT FROM HER DIMENSION."

"I suspected that would happen," Suzan calmly replied.

"WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT? SHE HAS YOUR MEMORIES AND WOULD THEREFORE KNOW THAT I WOULD COME FOR A VISIT."

While that might actually be the reason, Suzan didn't believe it anymore than her grandfather did. No matter how much she despaired the fact that he would show up in the wrong place, there was no way that she'd prevent her only living--well sort of living--relative from coming to her. Not even if she was capable of doing so. On the other hand, Dawn might want some time alone to come to terms with the knowledge that had suddenly been imparted on her.

No, Suzan shook her head, that wouldn't be enough of a reason. But considering that Dawn would be drawing on Suzan's own memories she was pretty sure that preventing any more interference from the Discworld would actually be a major factor in this decision. Still, aside from the reason there was something else she wondered about. "How can she do that? You never mentioned the Key could do that."

"I DID NOT EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN. WHILE IT WAS THEORETICALLY POSSIBLE, THE KEY HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN ITS ENTIRE EXISTENCE."

"And how often has it been made human?" Suzan countered, understanding that her grandfather had once again overlooked human nature. "She isn't like you, or any of the other anthropomorphical beings. Dawn really is a human being with human emotions. She's probably scared of what's going on."

"SHE ISN'T THE FIRST TO BELIEVE SHE IS HUMAN. THAT IS WHY YOU GAVE HER YOUR MEMORIES."

"Maybe not," Suzan quickly passed over the reference to both herself and Lobsang, "but she is still very young, and despite her fears won't want anyone else to interfere with what needs to be done. The wizards would surely try to undo the damage I've caused to their plans, and..."

"AND WHAT?" Death asked when she stopped, but Suzan ignored him. Could it be? Could this barrier or whatever Dawn had thrown up actually do that? Raising her head to look Death straight in the eye sockets, she asked him.

"Would this stop Them from entering that universe?"

It wasn't often that she saw her grandfather hesitate over an answer, but in this case he did. "THEY ARE NOT USUALLY RESTRICTED BY ANYTHING BUT THEIR RULES, BUT I AM NOT CERTAIN. IT IS ALREADY TOO LATE ANYWAY, THEY HAVE ENTERED ROUNDWORLD LONG AGO."

"I know," Suzan said, "but it could be that she doesn't want any more of them to enter. You've told me how they will try to use that Hellmouth thing to destroy life on the Roundworld and use the Key to propagate the effect. If Dawn blocks out all other universes she will in effect even have closed this Hellmouth as well."

"THAT IS TRUE," Death conceded, "BUT THAT WILL ONLY BE TEMPORARY. THAT LEVEL OF MAGIC WILL START TO REQUIRE A PHYSICAL TOLL AND HER BODY IS NOT CAPABLE OF HANDLING THAT YET."

"What do you mean?" Suzan asked, although she had a pretty good idea.

Death didn't immediately answer the question, instead opting to look around the room again. This wasn't good, if her grandfather was avoiding the question that usually meant something very bad would happen. "AS THE KEY NOW HAS A HUMAN BODY IT HAS LOST SOME OF ITS POWER, POWER IT REQUIRES FOR BLOCKING ALL ACCESS TO THE WORLD. SHE CAN USE HER BODY TO REPLACE SOME OF THAT POWER BUT THAT WILL TAKE A GREAT TOLL, AND WILL ONLY LAST FOR A SHORT TIME."

"How great a toll, and how long?" Suzan demanded, instinctively knowing that her memories would have played an important role in Dawn's discovery of how to do this.

"A MONTH, TWO AT THE MOST, BEFORE SHE WILL NEED TO RECOVER."

"How bad will it be?" she repeated her earlier question.

"EVEN IF SHE SURVIVES, IT WILL LEAVE HER VERY WEAK AND VULNERABLE. NOT EVEN THE STRENGTH SHE INHERITED FROM YOU WILL HELP HER THEN."

x.x.x

If this wasn't the strangest Scooby meeting ever, Xander had no idea of what could be. Aside from the number of people present--some of whom he didn't even really know--there was the fact that he kept thinking about people using the name they wore last night. Of course, there was also the way the dynamic of the group had changed.

Actually, it wasn't really one group anymore, but three. Giles was in control of everybody who'd turned into a wizard the night before, as well as Buffy, while miss Calendar, Willow, and Amy were standing a bit away from them. The rest was centered around Xander himself. Okay, aside from Cordelia they were all members of the watch. Sort of members of the watch, he mentally corrected, and therefore knew the best what kind of memories he now had.

It felt good being in command, although they would need to create a ranking or something. And while the number of magic users ensured he didn't want to be the one in overall command--although he was sure that Sybi-, Cordelia, would insist on that--he didn't plan on going back to the second-rate help he used to be either. Command of the normal forces protecting the Hellmouth was what he wanted, and with Carrot as a good second that would undoubtedly be a good thing.

Of course, that did require him to actually find Carrot because he hadn't seen him even once. Well, maybe Suzan would bring him here. After all, Dawn would undoubtedly show up during this meeting.

Now that had been a surprise, and he hadn't even realized it until he'd arrived at the hospital and started to think about how many people would have been affected. To think that Suzan Sto-Helit had actually made Dawn wear her clothes while the spell hit was something he hadn't expected. In a way it made sense, Dawn--or rather the Key--was the most important being on the planet and could use any help available to her.

For what was probably the tenth time during this meeting, Cordelia's hand moved to hold his before she quickly pulled it back. She was as unsure as he was about the state of their relationship, and he was pretty sure that their kiss last night hadn't helped in that regard. As planned, he'd gone by Cordelia's house after his visit to the hospital where he was surprised by the number of cars parked in front of the house. From what she'd later explained to him, she had called the parents of the children as soon as she was once again in control of her body and they had come to pick them up.

Cordelia claimed she had simply done so because she didn't want to spend any more time with the annoying little buggers than necessary, but from the glimpses he got of her face when she said goodbye to each child separately he figured that she had mellowed quite a bit. Which meant that he got glimpses of the personality he, no Vimes, had fallen in love with years ago. Combined with her other natural assets, he hadn't been able to control himself when they said goodbye and kissed her.

A kiss that had quickly turned into a pretty heavy patting session before lack of breath finally made them separate. Of course, at that point Cordelia had realized just who she was kissing and had immediately stepped back inside before telling him that she'd see him today during this meeting. Everything had become a bit much, but in typical Cordy--and Sybil--style she had faced and overcome all that even though that meant she had to stop herself from touching him. And while pulling his own hand back, Xander once again realized that she wasn't the only one with that problem.

No! He didn't want this!

This way their feelings were based on the memories of other people, and that wasn't something he wanted. Maybe he would've fallen in love with Cordelia regardless of last night's spell--however unlikely that was--but this way he'd always believe his feelings were based on something else.

"-Snyder?" Xander suddenly caught the last piece of Buffy's question, and tried to remember the complete question. Snyder was after all a problem, and would have to be handled carefully. Ah, now he remembered the complete question and it seemed that Buffy was thinking about that as well.

"Principal Snyder won't be a problem," Giles claimed. "Like all of us, he's been affected by yesterday's spell. Unfortunately for him, I fear that the Bursar's ah, peculiarities, and as there are no dried frog pills available in this world his condition will probably only worsen. I have no doubt that within a matter of weeks, if not days, he'll no longer be fit to do his work."

"Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy," Buffy replied before sitting back.

"Quite, now there is another matter I would like to discuss. After the spell ended last night it seems to me that while I still have all the knowledge of Archchancellor Ridcully, I seem to be slightly less powerful. I would like to know if this is just me, or if it's common among you. No doubt I'll be back to the man's original strength once I've had time to retrain my body, but for now I don't have all of his strength."

Hah, no matter how much Giles tried to talk around it, Xander understood very well that the man was now next to powerless. Unfortunately, that might mean one of the other wizards would try to replace him. Which in itself wasn't that bad--one wizard was the same as the next--but he knew how both Ridcully and Giles thought while he wouldn't know that about whoever would replace him.

Luckily, Giles wasn't the only one with this problem as Jonathan--still wearing his 'Wizzard' hat--confirmed that he too had been affected that way, although the Luggage didn't seem to have been affected by any lack of magic. The Luggage... Like everybody else in the room, Xander had tried to ignore the small suitcase that was walking around, but now that his attention was drawn to it he couldn't help but stare.

A small case with hundreds of tiny legs. He'd heard rumors about the wizards having something like that, but so far he'd never encountered it. And he could now honestly say that he wished it had remained that way. Somebody else was speaking up now though, and he turned his attention back as another of the wannabe wizards sat down after his own confession of having no power.

So, the wizards were powerless; was that a good or bad thing? Before he'd decided, Jenny admitted that she too seemed to have lost something while Theresa said that she was just as strong as Angua. Of course, that did require her to explain Angua was a werewolf, but the two of them had spoken before the meeting and decided it would be best if everybody was aware of it.

"Quite," Giles said, once again taking control of the meeting. "Now, as you might have noticed last night, more people changed into Discworld costumes than were supposed to. Xander, you looked into that this morning, can you tell us what you discovered?"

"Sure thing, G-man," Xander said before waiting until all eyes were on him. "It seems that both Partytown, and Ethan's sold Discworld costumes for this Halloween. And at least Partytown got the costumes for nearly nothing. It was impossible to ask Ethan Rayne if this was the case for him as well, because he was dead."

"Dead?" Buffy asked. "How did he die?"

"He was killed by a crossbow bolt, probably shortly after or while breaking the spell."

"Do you know who did it?"

"I've got a very good idea yes." After all, Carrot and Suzan had gone there to break the spell, Suzan was Dawn, and Dawn's friend had been dressed as an Assassin.

"Are you going to the police with that information?"

"No, because the girl responsible for it was possessed as well."

"You are certain she was possessed?" Giles asked, before frowning. "Are you even certain it was a her?"

"Yes, she told me about the crossbow before we came here yesterday."

This was enough information for Buffy and Willow to realize who had done the deed. "Jane? Are you telling me that Dawn's friend killed Ethan?"

"Yes," Xander confirmed Buffy's outburst.

"What was she- Wait a minute! She was dressed as an Assassin!"

Xander only nodded in reply, and waited for Buffy to draw the next logical conclusion.

"And she wasn't the only one who dressed like somebody from Discworld..." The horror shone in Buffy's eyes while realization dawned, and she could barely whisper her next words. "But she didn't say anything."

"Buffy? What are you talking about?" Giles wanted to know.

"Dawn, Dawn was dressed up like somebody from Discworld as well."

"Impossible," Giles said, "we did everything we could to ensure that wouldn't be the case. It was far too dangerous to have her be possessed."

"Really? You mean she wasn't possessed? And..." Buffy tapered out, exchanging the sudden hope for suspicion. "What do you mean, it would be too dangerous?"

"Yes Giles, please tell her why you were so afraid I'd be involved with magic?" Dawn said as she walked through the open doors.

x.x.x

What was happening to him?

One moment he felt like himself, while the next moment Devon would feel complete alien. As if he couldn't really understand why anyone would feel remorse for the actions he was only now starting to remember. In those lucid moments he was getting flashes of what had happened the night before, and what he saw in those memories ought to be enough to drive him to suicide.

He'd been at the Bronze, partying away in his cool outfit until suddenly the world had turned upside-down and he became the Assassin whose clothes he wore. A methodical and merciless killer called Teatime who had more than one screw loose. Nobody had suspected exactly who he was, not even the other Assassin's in the room. The wannabe-Assassin who'd accompanied Sto-Helit had been the first to whom he revealed his identity.

But then, with the captain gone, he told the others as well. Within minutes he was in control of the room, and when some of the unaffected people wanted to stop him, he'd used that control to ensure nobody survived. It had been a massacre, and after he and the surviving Assassins had left the building he'd turned on them as well.

Nobody needed to know who he was, and what he planned to do. The rest of the night was a blur. He dimly remembered finding a bar--and killing a couple of demons there--where the owner had provided him with information about Sunnydale he hadn't even suspected. After that he'd explored the rest of the town, before he finally ended up at home in his own bed. How he'd gotten there was a mystery to him, because it happened after he'd started losing control of his own body.

Devon had a feeling that the spell had been broken, but that Teatime had managed to hold on control for at least a while. And now the two of them were fighting for control over his body; a fight he didn't think he could win. Why was this happening to him? What had he ever done to deserve this?

He was a singer, all that he cared about was creating more, and better, music until he'd be famous. But now this cursed town had caused him to become a killer. Maybe he should commit suicide? That way he would at least be sure that nobody else would die at his hands. How should he do it? As a musician he very much felt like doing it with an overdose, just like Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain, but maybe it would be easier to just slit his wrists.

Yes, that's what he'd do. Having made his decision, Devon stumbled down the stairs to the kitchen. At least his parents weren't home, they would probably try to stop him without knowing what that would mean. Should he write a note? Explain it to people to make them understand? What was the use? How could anyone understand what he was going through?

Indeed, how could anyone understand? Teatime thought while straightening his clothes. That poor little boy had it so hard, but that was all over now. It had taken him a while, but he could feel that by now he was firmly in control of the body, with the boy's consciousness shut away in some dark corner of his mind.

What to do though, what to do? The events of last night were unlikely to lead to him, but in his carelessness last night he had allowed one person to live who could identify him. And there was somebody else around he had to take care of before he did anything else as well. Suzan Sto-Helit had stopped him once, and he had no intention of allowing her to do that again. She was powerful though, and a direct approach was unlikely to work.

Among the boy's memories though, there was knowledge about a certain tool. Something that had once existed on the Discworld but had now been destroyed by Vimes. The gonne had some nasty side-effects as well in that it seemed to partially take over the user's mind, but the guns of this world didn't seem to be afflicted like that. He really needed to get his hands on one of them so that he could repay Sto-Helit, and ensure the last person who could recognize him would no longer be a problem. Of course, he first needed to find out who they were in this world.

x.x.x

"Dawn? What are you doing here?" Jane heard her friend's sister ask. Actually, that was a pretty good question, although not nearly as good as the one wondering why she herself was here. Vimes was in this room. Sure, he wasn't the real Vimes, but close enough for Jane to put her on edge about his presence. Especially after she'd just killed a man.

Killed a man! She had killed! She was starting to hyperventilate when the cap-, Oz, laid a calming hand on her shoulder and guided her into the room. Right, she could do this. It wasn't her fault she'd killed Rayne: she was possessed! And both Dawn and Oz blamed themselves for not stopping her.

As if that mattered! She was the one who'd pulled the trigger and thereby killed Rayne, and now she had to live with the consequences. A glance at Sara showed her that her friend too felt guilty for letting her kill the mage, but there was also something else in her eyes. Something that undoubtedly had to do with the fact that she'd managed to roll her father's pockets that morning.

Why couldn't she have lost so that Sara would have worn the Assassin's outfit? Maybe the man would still be alive then. No, she thought while forcing herself to look at the other people in the room, there was no changing the past. What happened, happened, and nothing would ever change that. Besides, he'd earned it for trying to make her kill Dawn.

"I'm here because I need to be present at this meeting," Dawn calmly answered her sister's question, before moving over to a couple of empty seats near Vimes. No, his name was Xander.

"And why would you need to be here?" the British guy who said Dawn was dangerous asked. He reminded her a bit of a wizard actually, maybe he'd been possessed by one? That was all she needed, someone from the bloody UU.

"Because a large portion of this meeting will be about me, and what I am," Dawn calmly replied, making Jane look at her in wonder. What she was? Somehow Jane doubted her friend was referring to her possession.

"What do you mean? What you are?"

"Tell her Giles, tell my sister why the wizards decided to interfere with Roundworld."

"How do you?" Giles asked, before shaking his head in an attempt to clear it. "No, what I want to know is: who are you?"

Before Dawn answered, Jane noticed that her friend's hair was moving by itself until it had gathered itself into a knot on top of her head. Dawn noticed so as well, and immediately started to undo the damage. "I never thought I'd have to go through this again."

"Dawn?" Buffy asked. "Why is your hair moving by itself?"

"Because I can't control it the way I remember. It must be because I'm still so young, I had the same problem when I was still in school."

Ri-i-ight, Jane thought, what the hell kind of sentence was that? She thought about speaking up, reconsidered that because she felt so uncertain, and reconsidered the reconsideration because well... she wasn't about to let any insecurities come between her and who she was. "Are you even capable of talking normally anymore? Because your my friend Dawn, but you're not making any sense at all."

"Yes, I can talk normally Jane. Thanks for pointing that out."

Wow, Dawn who held her temper in check? What was happening here? Had they been bespelled or something? Oh yeah, they had. Huh, kinda makes sense then.

"You still haven't explained who you are Dawn," Giles said. Hah, being able to easily remember names was an Assassin's trait Jane felt she was definitely going to enjoy.

"Is it so hard to guess, Archchancellor? It's weird though. I remember planning on giving Dawn a set of my own clothes, but only remember receiving them , not giving them."

"Suzan," Giles sighed in sudden understanding. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? We don't know anything about what Dawn actually is, and mixing your own magic with it can't be good."

"Okay, that's it," Buffy said while slamming a fist on the table. A solid wooden table that Jane was pretty sure didn't have a dent in that place before Buffy hit it. Holy crap! How strong was Buffy? "I want to know what everybody seems to know about my sister."

Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them in an obvious attempt to refrain as long as possible from telling them about Dawn. "I'm not sure if everybody here should know about this."

"They can. They have been either selected by yourself, by me, or in the case of Jane and Sara, by fate. I trust that nobody here will try to use me to destroy the known universe."

Destroy what? Taking several steps forward until she stood next to Dawn, Jane noticed that Sara had already arrived there as well. "What the hell are you talking about Dawn?"

"Tell them Giles, tell them the story of the Key and Glorificus."

"As you wish," Giles said before starting to tell the most incredible story she'd ever heard. How could Dawn not be real? She'd known the girl for over a year! And now she was supposed to have existed for only a year? Yeah right.

The further the story went however, the more Jane started to worry that it might actually be true. Dawn could be used by some weird goddess to tear away the walls that separated dimensions, causing them to bleed together and thereby opening it up to the Dungeon Dimensions.

When Giles finally ended his explanation, it was silent for a long time until Buffy stood up and walked over to Dawn. The two of them stood staring at each other for nearly a minute before Buffy reached out and hugged Dawn. It was only because she was standing so close to Dawn that Jane could understand what Buffy said, but she wouldn't have missed those words for the world. "I don't care that you might not have been born twelve years ago, you're still my sister and I'll always love you."

"Thank you." Dawn might try not to look like she was breaking down, but she couldn't control her voice as much as she liked, and it broke. Obviously it weighed a lot heavier on Dawn's mind than she showed.

"Of course," Buffy said when she ended the hug, "considering you're less than a year old I don't think you should be allowed to stay up so long to watch TV."

"Bitch," Dawn replied while lightly swatting her sister, but with Buffy out of the way Jane now had her own chance to tell her friend that she didn't care about all the mystical stuff. She was one of her best friends, and that's how it would always be. She was immediately followed by Sara, and after that more people--most of whom she didn't know--followed.

"All right people," Dawn smiled once they were all done. "I think it's time we got back to business. As you've no doubt noticed, there are a couple of people here who weren't in the original line-up for this event. Xander and Cordelia were possessed by Sam and Sybil Vimes respectively, and Oz here had the chance to play the role of captain Ironfoundersson."

Giles let out a small groan, and while Jane wasn't all that happy herself with so many members of the Watch here she had to consciously hold back a smile. Served the wizard right; if what she figured out so far was right it had been the wizards who created this whole mess, and if things didn't go right for them that was fine with her. After all, things didn't really go right with her either. But, Dawn was still talking and considering Dawn probably knew more than everybody else it would be wise to listen.

"Aside from these three, who I'd asked to come along, there were however far more people from the Discworld who we have no clue where they came from. I recognized one of them, an old friend who I was surprised to find here, but was there anyone else who recognized people?"

"No," Xander started. "I was looking for Carrot, but I would have noticed if I'd met somebody else I knew."

Giles was next, and he too claimed not to have seen anybody. "But then, I was busy last night with other things. Jenny, did you see anybody?"

The woman standing next to him--obviously this Jenny--shook her head in denial. "No, nobody I know. Do you think that what happened at the Bronze might have had something to do with it?"

"The Bronze?" Dawn asked. "What happened there?"

"Everybody inside had been murdered, although several Assassins were found outside."

Oz started to explain that he had indeed seen a number of Assassins inside, but Jane didn't pay any attention. She just felt cold. A cold that froze her heart and almost prevented her from breathing. How could she have forgotten? Just because she'd killed somebody didn't mean she could just forget about what happened! "Fuck!"

Everybody, including Dawn and Sara, looked at her in surprise as she cursed. "What is it?"

Cursing herself for a fool, an idiot, and everything else she could come up with, Jane needed a moment to understand the question had been asked of her. When she did though she was quick to explain. "I saw someone at the Bronze last night, someone who wouldn't care about killing all those people."

"Who?" Xander asked sharply.

"Teatime," Jane answered softly.

Dawn blanched a bit, while the members of the Watch--okay, those who were possessed by members of the Watch--had worried looks on their faces. "I thought he was dead," Xander asked.

"He was," Dawn replied, "and no doubt he's looking for revenge. Did he threaten you?"

The question was asked of Jane, and she replied honestly. "Only if I stayed with you."

"That's not good," Xander said, "but let's get back to the point where he is dead. Is he a zombie? Or does the possession work for people who died as well?"

"The possession works for dead people as well," Giles explained, but Dawn continued after he'd finished his sentence.

"Not that it would matter to the beings behind all this."

"What do you mean?" Xander once again asked. Strange how he'd more or less taken over the moment criminals were involved.

"The enemy we're facing, the ones who set up everything from both the Key and Glorificus ending up together on this world to ensuring that far more people from the Discworld were here last night. The true enemy, the ones who are far more dangerous."

"The Elves?" Jenny asked. "Are they the ones behind this?"

"No, worse than even the Elves. If Glorificus got her hands on the Key and used it; at the very least this universe and the Discworld one would be completely destroyed. How many beings do you know who would prefer that situation."

While it didn't make any sense to Jane, several people in the room obviously realized what Dawn was referring to.

"The Auditors?" Giles asked. "Is this all another of their plans?"

"Yes, the Auditors. As I can use at least part of the Key's powers I'm keeping them out of this universe for now. Or at least, preventing more from entering as they are already firmly entrenched here."

"Okay, I don't know these beings," Chase--despite the similarities in their current situation she couldn't think of the girl as anything but Chase--started, "but are you talking about the IRS, because according to my father they really are evil and the name would even fit."

"No," Dawn shook her head to underscore the point. "The Auditors on this world are acting smarter than they usually do. By pretending to be a force for good they can do the most damage."

"A force for good?" Giles wanted to know. "What do you mean?"

Dawn took a deep breath before she explained. "In this universe, the Auditors call themselves The Powers That Be."

* * *

Author's note: Well, this is where the story ends. It took me about two years to actually write, and while at times I hated it and worked on other projects (many of which I finished during that time) it was also a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, I won't continue with this. There is plenty of material: from the way Dawn won't be able to hold up the barrier several months from now to Snyder having to deal with his lack of dried frog pills. The plans of the Auditors for the Earth and even the fact that everybody has to learn to come to grips with who they are now, and what that means for them. Including Teatime, and the boy from chapter 1 who dressed as an elf.  
The reason I won't continue this story is simple: time. There are a number of stories I'd rather write than this one (the Black Sunrise series, it's various spin-offs, some other fanfiction stories, and--most importantly--original work) and I don't even have the time to write all of those.

So, I do the only thing I can do at this point, and ask you, the reader who obviously liked this story enough to reach the end, if you'd like to continue this storyline. I personally really like the possibilities in this story and hate to see them go to waste, so if you feel like writing a story in this universe please do so. If you ever thought that maybe writing a story would be a great thing to do but don't know how to come up with a workable plot, please use and extend this one. If you want to discuss any ideas you have (or want to know more about the ones I have) you can always contact me.  
The only thing I ask you for using this story as a basis for your own is to let me know where I can read it. :-)


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